@kennethamy,
kennethamy wrote:Besides which, it is not true that every time I perform an action, I want to do that action. I sometimes perform actions I do not want to do. I do not want to go to a dentist to have my tooth pulled, but I do it anyway. I do it unwillingly.
If I may interject, there exists at least the possibility I might be able to shed some light for you K. If you'll indulge me, try looking at this concept in the following light: Yes, by definition the word 'selfish' does indeed refer to the 'without regard for others'-sentiment that you brought up.
But that's not the point, and there is no insight to be gained by adhering to this. So let's use another word/term, shall we? How about we say "self-interest". Let's rephrase the issue with the following:
All actions, no matter how generous, selfless or compassion-filled have, in fact, at their basis a motivated self-interest. This is what I took this thread to be concerned with.
If you are so inclined as to accept this question as the intent of the discussion, then perhaps some insight might be gained from its assimilation. I personally found it an enlightening concept to accept - once I'd thought it through - that for everything I do, no matter what I *think* my motivation is, there is a self-interest I have in doing it (its important to now that the acknowledgment of this does *not* devalue the generous act one iota). Even if its just the warm-fuzzy I receive or the feeling of empathetic fulfillment these - consciously or subconsciously - this lies in state as the basis for such actions. This may be obvious, but its implications (and personal insight into what we do) are not. It is in these implications of its realization where the value lays.
In any case, with feet firmly planted we can often maintain our positions with a staunch pride; however, bending the mind to fit the 'jist' of what someone's trying to communicate will always net you more insight and wisdom than an adversarial hard line that picks at typos.
... hoping this helps.