Philosophic jokes

@manored,

You're actually right xris. I make up my lack of philosophical knowledge by talking a lot of crap that I hope people find entertaining. But it seems I might be a failure at that as well.

@manored,

Keep failing hard and eventually people will start laughing of your disgrace, and you will actually have succeded Smile

PARADOX DETECTED

@manored,

That's comforting.

@manored,

Immanuel Kant pun! He just Kant.

@manored,

Ehhh, most of the jokes I know are analogies, and should be used in arguments about specific things. Smile

Or riddles. here's some good ones though.

"An optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears that this is so."
:O

Two bored male casino owners are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude. With that, she takes off all of her clothes, shaking the dice. "Cmon mama, baby needs new clothes!" She said before she threw the dice on the table. "YES, YES I WON!" she said, taking all of her winnings and hugging the Casino owners. She left before they could even see what she rolled.

Moral:Not all blonde's are stupid, but all men are men.

Tee-hee, feminist joke.

Moses trudges down the hill from Mt.Sinai, tablets in his hand, and announces to the assembled multitudes: "I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The good news is I got Him down to ten. the bad news is 'adultery' is still in.

@manored,

"He who steals my Pierce (Ambrose) steals trash."

@manored,

manored;46835 wrote:

Everthing is nice and flowers till somebody decides to question our most fundamental concepts about the world

Unless your whole life is an evasion of reality, reality and the way we conceive of it is beyond question...We believe what we cannot deny, and denial is the first purchase of luxury..

---------- Post added 12-26-2009 at 10:32 AM ----------

manored;54764 wrote:

Hum, that was a formula that would work for 99% of people, not something to be done all at once, but, anyway, you could just push off the remaining 1%. Its not quite "jumping", but works

Speaking as one who knows; you could not get most people in a position from which they would fall, let alone jump...

---------- Post added 12-26-2009 at 10:37 AM ----------

xris;48151 wrote:

A philosopher fell off a 200 floor building as he passed the second floor he was heard to say "so far so good".

My father, the Great Ironworker told me of two men who went in the hole on a story job...A ground man ran up to one of the fallen, and the guy said: Go check on that fellow; I'm dead... And he was...

@manored,

gee thanks everybody! Laughing

i havent laughed this much in years...i was beginning to think my sense of humor was missing

@manored,

There was once a man seeking the meaning of life, who quit his job, left his family and traveled across the wide ocean, through jungles, over deserts, and over mountains to find the wisest man in the world; and when he found this man he said: oh wise man; tell me what is life???
And the wise man said: My son; Life is a fountain....
The seeker nodded thoughtfully for a moment to consider the wisdom...
Then he said: Do you mean to tell me that I quit my job, and left my family and traveled over ocean, jungle, deserts and mountains to have you tell me some nonsense like: life is a fountain???...
Okay; said the wise one... So, it's not a fountain...

That is not just my best philosophical joke; it is by only joke about philosophy I know...Of course, one may consider the philosophy of humor generally...

@manored,

I've seen that one. I didn't "lol", but it made me think a bit.

@Fido,

Fido;114421 wrote:

Speaking as one who knows; you could not get most people in a position from which they would fall, let alone jump...

Were massive amounts of money at stake in these situations you have seen before? =)

salima;114427 wrote:

gee thanks everybody!
i havent laughed this much in years...i was beginning to think my sense of humor was missing

Go read anything written by Douglas Adams =)

@manored,

manored;115907 wrote:

Were massive amounts of money at stake in these situations you have seen before? =)

Ironworker wages were fat cheese for the right rat...

@Fido,

Fido;116002 wrote:

Ironworker wages were fat cheese for the right rat...

I didnt quite understand this. So did the right rat not jump, even though fat cheese was at stake?

@manored,

manored;116538 wrote:

I didnt quite understand this. So did the right rat not jump, even though fat cheese was at stake?

I worked some pretty talll iron for good money; but I found once that trying to do it for free scared the hell out of me...The thought of dying for money was not fearful while dying for chariity was... You just need to know your limits and your motivation... For many people, the very thought of hights, and falling is more than they can bear for any amount...

@Fido,

Fido;116543 wrote:

I worked some pretty talll iron for good money; but I found once that trying to do it for free scared the hell out of me...The thought of dying for money was not fearful while dying for chariity was... You just need to know your limits and your motivation... For many people, the very thought of hights, and falling is more than they can bear for any amount...

Thats what the 1% is there for =)

@manored,

manored;116649 wrote:

Thats what the 1% is there for =)

Well; I am an old one percenter too....One thing you might want to notice about people is that there is nothing rational about their emotion... They cannot reason themselves out of their fear any more than they can reason out of their loves...It would take an extremely irrational sum to get people to do what their emotions telll them is dangerous, and even deadly... When we see people behave carelessly with their lives, we have to ask if they are all there...In fact; they believe in two things nearly equally irrational...They believe in their own skill, which is denying their falability, and they are believing it their fortune, which is idiotic; but great deeds have been done by such people, -and equally tragic blunders costing many lives...Never trust yourself...Never count on luck...

@manored,

A student is doing his exams of logic and ethics. He realizes he won't pass. Thus he asks the professor if he can make a question to him about logic and ethics, and if he does not know the answer he will pass. The professor agrees. The question of the student:" What is that which is moral but isn't logical; that's logical but isn't moral; and what's that which is neither logical nor moral. The professor thinks for an hour, but then reluctantly renounces. The student answers:" It is moral that you have a wife that's 25 years younger then yourself, but it isn't logical; it is logical that your wife has a lover of her age, but it isn't moral; and it's neither moral nor logical that to the lover of your wife you must give the passing grade.

@manored,

Haw; Haw...Without raining on the parade; no act is both moral and logical... Logic for the individual is always from a certain perspective in regard to certain realities, Morality encompasses spiritual values, and the perspective of the community and the individual never coincide...Logic should never enter into discussions of morality and would not, if not for the preoccupation of the past with finding virtue (Morality) in knowledge...Knowledge is abstraction, and morality is not, and cannot be properly abstracted...

@Fido,

Fido;116855 wrote:

Haw; Haw...Without raining on the parade; no act is both moral and logical... Logic for the individual is always from a certain perspective in regard to certain realities, Morality encompasses spiritual values, and the perspective of the community and the individual never coincide...Logic should never enter into discussions of morality and would not, if not for the preoccupation of the past with finding virtue (Morality) in knowledge...Knowledge is abstraction, and morality is not, and cannot be properly abstracted...

:whoa-dude:

Interesting... do you so enjoy complicating that the complication of a not complicated joke made that not complicated joke so complicated that its simplicity has been ground to over-complication without any complicated reason of making it so? it's just a joke... Very Happy

@The Jester phil,

The Jester;116911 wrote:

:whoa-dude:

Interesting... do you so enjoy complicating that the complication of a not complicated joke made that not complicated joke so complicated that its simplicity has been ground to over-complication without any complicated reason of making it so? it's just a joke...

Perhaps as an old man married to a younger wife I sort of resemble your remarks...In fact; she hot and I'm not, so it kind of kicks my spare tire..

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