Philosophic jokes

@manored,

I just made up two jokes, hope they're not too bad.

Skepticism
Have you heard about this sceptic who was so skeptical that he doubted skepticism?

Punk'd
The Theist, agnostic and the atheist were captured by cannibals. As they sat in the giant stew pot over a roaring wood flame, the cannibals offered them each a last wish. The agnostic said: "I don't know what to wish" The theist said: "I wanna se you burning in hell!" and the Atheist said "Why do you have a camera team over there?"

@Catchabula,

Catchabula;46512 wrote:

Consume one at a time folks, or you'll die laughing :bigsmile:

You're lying! I've always been told that laughter extends your life! :perplexed:
Stop this heathen speculation, it's heresy!

@Henrik phil,

Dimitri - If Atlas holds up the world, what holds up Atlas?
Tasso - Atlas stands on the back of a turtle.
Dimitri - But what does the turtle stand on?
Tasso - Another turtle.
Dimitri - And what does that turtle stand on?
Tasso

@manored,

Why not just one, flying turtle? Smile

@manored,

A philosopher fell off a 200 floor building as he passed the second floor he was heard to say "so far so good".

@manored,

A local lothario walks into the doctor's office and demands to speak to the doctor as it is an emergency.
The doctor comes out and asks what's the matter.
The lothario says, "I can't get it up... and I've tried everything doc!"
"Ok", says the Doctor, "what have you done so far?"
"I've tried beating it"
"ok", sais the Doctor
"I've tried stroking it"
"ok"
"I've tried watching adult films"
"ok"
"Doing these has always gotten it to go up! Why isn't it doing it now?"
The doctor sighs and walks back to his desk. "Don't you know the problem of induction? Just because it happened in the past, doesn't mean it'll happen in the future!"

@Victor Eremita,

How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?

100. 99 to think about it, 1 to change it.

Is it funny? It just bounced off my head.

@Jose phil,

Jose wrote:

How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?

100. 99 to think about it, 1 to change it.

Is it funny? It just bounced off my head.

Wot the light bulb??:perplexed:

@Jose phil,

Jose wrote:

How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?

100. 99 to think about it, 1 to change it.

Is it funny? It just bounced off my head.

No. If 99 are thinking why wouldnt the one think too? Smile

@manored,

Well, I suppose that 1 philosopher would contribute to the thinking but since he's mostly responsible for fixing the light bulb, the bulk of the thinking would be done by the rest. That 1 philosopher might just be tinkering with the faulty light bulb.

Apologies if it's not funny.

@Jose phil,

Jose wrote:

Well, I suppose that 1 philosopher would contribute to the thinking but since he's mostly responsible for fixing the light bulb, the bulk of the thinking would be done by the rest. That 1 philosopher might just be tinkering with the faulty light bulb.

Apologies if it's not funny.

just kidding

Being rude is supposed to sound funny Smile

@manored,

Maybe it'll sound funny if it's actually spoken, and not read in text.

Have you got any good jokes to share Manored?

@Jose phil,

student gives his thesis at the end of term..sitting down in front of his tutors he produces a match box, opens the match box.."jump out" he shouts..out of the match box a spider jumps.."jump in" the spider dutifully jumps back in the box.."i will show you my thesis" the student informs the examiners.."jump out" the spider jumps out . The student then horribly pulls all the spiders legs off..."jump in" the spider remains outside the box.."Well" asks the examiners "what is your theory".."my theory" claims the student" If you pull a spiders legs off..he goes deaf"..Oh dear.

@Jose phil,

Jose wrote:

Maybe it'll sound funny if it's actually spoken, and not read in text.

Have you got any good jokes to share Manored?

Not really. I am good at comedy but cant do it just for the sake of it, I have to be in the middle of a conversation.

I can give a try though:

A way to make 99% of the world's population jump off a tower?

Give then a parachute and one million dollars.

@manored,

Everyone gets a parachute and a million dollars?

Then how do you make the remaining 1% jump off a tower?

@manored,

Hum, that was a formula that would work for 99% of people, not something to be done all at once, but, anyway, you could just push off the remaining 1%. Its not quite "jumping", but works Smile

@manored,

Not so much a joke, as an enjoyable video

@manored,

So, Manored, are you the 99% or 1%?

@Jose phil,

Jose wrote:

So, Manored, are you the 99% or 1%?

The 99% off course. Why would I refuse a free parachute jump and one million dollars? Smile

@manored,

I think Jose talks a lot of crap..only joking haha..

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