Poetry by the Confused

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Reply Sun 11 Sep, 2005 09:37 am
Poetry by the Confused
By Cookie

In the stormy sea that is my heart
Where whirlpools bring me down
Where agony is circumstance
This place I’ll surely drown

There is a sound, a melody
A haunting shrill, a scream
That calls my name, like sirens sweet
Calling to destroy me

My limbs are aching from the tide
That forces me to kick
That I gladly swallow to quench my thirst
That makes me deathly sick

My throbbing heart is lonely
My journey’s all a chore
I’m desperate for a savior
To carry me to shore
Cookie 2
Reply Sun 11 Sep, 2005 09:39 am
By Cookie

Hear this ticking heart of mine
Find mysteries within
Hear the very subtle tune
That comes and goes like wind

Sometimes the melody is sweet
Sometimes it haunts and chills
Sometimes its bitter-sweet or sad
And echoes as it wills

Sometimes there’s pregnant silence
I can’t make a single sound
I can’t force one single note
When boredom is around

A pin could puncture me right now
And out of me would flow
The sweetest and the saddest tunes
That ever you would know

Though under wraps I keep my heart
Still some notes find escape
Yet not the ones I guard most well
That sung would me unmake
Cookie 2
Reply Sun 11 Sep, 2005 09:40 am
By Cookie

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Even you don’t know
These secrets that I guard so well
The things I never show

I may be watched by him or her
These walls and such have ears
But all that’s seen is what I show
And not my hopes and fears
Cookie 2
Reply Sun 11 Sep, 2005 09:42 am
By Cookie

They give you pills for pain like this
But pills don’t reach this place
This shattered haven for my hopes
That crashed in such disgrace

This lurking sadness creeps behind
It smothers from before
I try to fight it with no strength
I hate this pointless war

This love is binding, holds me back
From where I need to go
It strips my will to love again
And love I die to know
Cookie 2
Reply Sun 11 Sep, 2005 09:44 am
By Cookie

I am
Sitting and staring
Kicking and punching
Pacing the can studded floor
Calling and waiting
Kissing and dating
Trying my pain to ignore

I am
Bumping and turning
Twisting and whirling
Dancing in the dark
Crying and screaming
Tearing and wrenching
Ignoring my aching heart
Reply Sun 11 Sep, 2005 10:24 am
nice poems
thank you for posting those here. Well written.
Cookie 2
Reply Sun 11 Sep, 2005 06:02 pm
U R welcome, Acheick. Hoping that by starting this poetry thread other confused x family 2nd generationer artists like me will continue it, putting down some of their feelings in a way only art can portray.
Jack 2
Reply Mon 12 Sep, 2005 01:33 pm
I don't like poetry. Here's a rap Smile It doesn't read as good as it sounds but it expressed how I felt on my ride into town this morning.

I find that "freestyling" helps my speech impediment while gettting chicks on my daily route interested in me (a lanky, whiteboy) as I fly down the street on a sexy track bike at 25 MPH rappin' about my feelings.

At a party last Friday night: "Hey you.. I always see you riding by rappin' really loud." "uh, yeah.. I know I'm kind of a jackass.. but I like to have fun.. my employees prefer that I'm in a good mood and riding like that really helps me clear my head out." she stares at me for a couple seconds and flashes me a gorgeous smile leans in and asks "Are you drunk?" "Fuzckin' smashed! Want some Jameson or a PBR?" I quickly respond with a slur. Not so much because I was hammered, it's the damn speech impediment again. "No thanks, if you can remember the name Ally when you get home, you should call this number."

If she only listened to the lyrics she probably woulda realized I'm not the type of guy with enough balls to ever call a girl back. I'm too shy. I never know what to say. I guess I'm doomed to a life of one-night stands until my temporary good looks pass, I get a gut and go bald.

Code:I'm feelin' downtrodden
Like a fresh kid turned rotten
Can't believe how naive I've gotten
Over the years seems like I'm gettin' dumber
Reminiscing to a time when I was younger with a hunger
Full a dreams, determination, self-esteem
But now it seems they hesitate to be on my team
You know the routine, when you winnin' and grinnin'
All up in your face, like they was wit you from the beginnin'
But on the flipside,
When you washed up like a riptide
Fools clown 'bout how you slipped and let sh!t slide
Beside the fact
My voice is wack
Clowns is runnin' around, talkin' 'bout I smoke crack
Ain't got no homies that got my back
Sometimes I wonder if I'm even on track
I'm far from hard
Emotionally scarred
On the Boulevard
I'm regarded as a retard
I make myself sick
Get on my own nerves
Immature, insecure,
Grown up nerd

Ahh... that was the venting I needed this morning.
Cookie 2
Reply Mon 12 Sep, 2005 08:54 pm
right on, Jack.

Messy is the new beautiful. Razz
Cookie 2
Reply Mon 12 Sep, 2005 09:28 pm
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
Pablo Picasso
Craven de Kere 1
Reply Mon 12 Sep, 2005 11:08 pm
Jack, surprisingly introspective!
Jack 2
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2005 07:04 pm
Are these compliments? I'll take'em as such... before I get back to my self-depreciation. It's a nasty habit really.

Cookie wrote:
Messy is the new beautiful.

That's what people tell me. I call it shameful illiteracy and rarely display my work publicly.

Craven de Kere wrote:
Jack, surprisingly introspective!

Why should or would you be suprised? Am I usually a pompous, blustering buffoon when I post here?

I was trying to be introspective. This time. The last time someone accused me of introspection, it was in reference to a piece written in the first person but entirely fictional.
Craven de Kere 1
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2005 09:30 pm
Jack wrote:

Craven de Kere wrote:
Jack, surprisingly introspective!

Why should or would you be suprised? Am I usually a pompous, blustering buffoon when I post here?

I knew I would have to answer as to why I found it surprising when I said that, but the truth is that I really am not sure why I found it surprising.

Perhaps I have projected in the past. <shrugs>
Reply Thu 15 Sep, 2005 09:21 am
BTW, Jack, I really liked your rap poetry - it's just poetry anyway, isn't it? I liked it - more, more, more.....
Jo 2
Reply Wed 30 Nov, 2005 01:52 am
I enjoyed reading all your poems. I love to read poetry and when one is good it is like enjoying a really good painting that moves you. Writing is an art and what is one person's pleasure is someone else's pain or something they just don't like. Here's a poem of mine that was published years ago, around the time that Blind Melon sung the song "No Rain" and Pearl Jam sang "Jeremy" and the movie "Philadelphia" was out at the box office.
Part of finding me was discovering I am happiest with a same sex partner and here is a poem I wrote from that time that was published:

True Divinity
What do you think
Jesus would say
If he were here today?
Well I can't speak for Jesus
But I think that he might say:

Well I took a walk on downtown
and around town, on the streets
I visited in lots of bars
and I hung around with freaks

I went to several churches
but most were locked up tight
Some were open now and then
But they just didn't feel quite right
I didn't come to be put in a box
I didn't care much for their song
I guess it just comes right down to:
I just did not belong

I watched a music channel
that I heard on the T.V.
I loved that little Bee Girl
And I cried for Jeremy
Then I watched "Philadelphia"
and I wept uptil I bled
Then as i left the theater
loud voices turned my head

They said I made this dread disease
that I did not create
They said all queers would go to hell
Who taught them so much hate?

Now honey, Naomi she loved Ruth
And I loved John quite dearly
But Paul was homophobic
Though at least he stated clearly
that he had his own opinions
not all of which were mine
cause ya see, Paul was only human
But I, I am DE-vine 8)

This one didn't get published:

Fundamentalist Blues

It's Saturday and the Christian Right is out to say
"NO!" to abortion and why can't you just see things my way?
They line the streets, what martyrs with placards, braving the weather
With sunshades and lawnchairs and little girls in patent leather
brand new shoes from the Galleria
even brought along their maid, Marie, an
outrageous screaming woman, mascara runs shouts
Awe Lord.......

"How can women be so evil?
If they would just obey I am sure that he will
take care of all their needs in christ jee-sus
after all women were made to please us"
Says this man in the crowd, just a preaching
While spiritless women are "AMEN!" screeching
And none of them has a clue as to why
a woman might choose to have her own life
Oh brother....

It's Saturday in the fifth ward and Sunny's 11 today
her daddy's long gone and her mama is too busy getting laid
turning tricks to support her romance with the rock
23 she got five babies, probably won't live to see them grow up
And some of her boyfriends like them young and thin
and Sunny she gets her presents from them
It's a story too often told, no big surprise
just look for saddened faces and deadened eyes
Oh God......

So take your g-damned, sick dead baby posters
you self righteous, judgemental and not so holy-ghosters
Put them down on the ground and get out on the streets
Help the children we have now and the people dis-eased
The woman who chooses to have children, hon
She won't have more than she can put shoes on
We don't live in the age of dinosaurs
and we don't have to keep having more and more and more
...and more.....and more...
Disclaimer: I know that this may offend some and it is not intended to. It is just what I wrote at a time in my life when I was waking up to the real world around me. It was the time of the Republican National Convention and when Planned Parenthood which also helps women with prenatal care who have children, was under siege by Religious right picketers that were blocking their access to the clinic. Even for well woman exams. These fundamentalist extremists dragged their children to these demonstrations with these graphic pictures of fetuses cut up. I took a photograph of one of the protesters who was walking around with high water blue jeans, a bloated liver with one hand holding a bible and scratching his belly while the other was picking the undies from the crack in his butt. I was going to walk with them only my sign was going to be a big picture of him with a huge red circle and a line thru it saying "Pro Choice" at the top.
You may wonder, what does this have to do with The Family? Well I left it and formed opinions of my own. Opinions I chose based on my experiences after the cult, in the cult, and which are constantly shifting. I hated the rape leading to one of my children in the cult but I love that child and did since he was born. He was a beautiful child and IS now a beautiful and creative adult.
Reply Wed 30 Nov, 2005 12:07 pm
I find abortion offensive.

The pictures you speak of are of aborted babies.

Not all babies die as the result of abortion, quite a few actually survive the process.

GIANNA JENSEN, A SURVIVOR OF ABORTION (House of Representatives - October 08, 1991)
The medical records which I have seen show that as an unborn baby of about 24 weeks' gestation, Gianna was injected with high-concentrated saline solution with the intent to kill her. Of course, under Roe versus Wade, such violence against children is perfectly legal. Unborn children have no rights. Although the poisonous salt solution worked on Gianna's fragile body for 5 hours, she nevertheless survived. She was injured and today bears some of the scars and a mild case of cerebral palsy. But she is alive, she is well and full of life.

Read full article;

Gianna Jensen
Jack 2
Reply Wed 30 Nov, 2005 03:41 pm
Abortion is a sticky subject. I hate it. I'm not necessarily pro-abortion but I've given thousands of dollars to Planned Parenthood. I often claim I don't like arguing on the subject but I also dressed as Roe v. Wade for Halloween (I wore waders and carried an oar). That is because I have and opinion on the subject but I am more concerned with the debate than the actual "issue".

A solid example would be the sentence "Unborn children have no rights." A phrase obviously engineered to sound like we're talking about killing children. The definition of children is "A person between birth and puberty" a fetus is not a child. Do you mean to tell me that we should be mourning the 75 percent of zygotes that are miscarried?

How about the terms "Pro-choice" versus "Pro-life"? Are my only options choice or life?! Who came up with those? Here let me give you some options, why don't you choose either these magnificent pair of boobies or the right to touch and/or look at them. I am pro-life. If I see someone about to die, I will do what I can to save them if they are interested. I am pro choice because I like to choose things.

To me it's really plain and simple. A woman needs the right choose whether or not she should subject herself to an abortion. This shouldn't ever be a religious or political issue. We don't worry about legalizing it, abortion should simply be decriminalized. It shouldn't be an issue. We should continue life without considering ridiculous religions or the meddling hands of corrupt politicians and governments.

I often consider, had I been aborted, I would have never had to deal with the miserable first 14 years of my life. Within the last 10 years my life has gotten dramatically better so I no longer wish it were true, but I am also no longer suicidal.

Some Idiot: Abortion should be illegal because its up to God whether a child is born or not, and sometimes its may seem like God made the wrong choice, its not for us to question.

Me: So, all I need to do is use a condom to foil your God's plans?

Oh, and I find Christianity offensive.

Hey, Hey! Look at that! I got all the way through a post without saying shit or fuck.
Reply Thu 1 Dec, 2005 03:41 am
Thanks for responding in such a cool manner. As the UK cider ad says:"what a refreshing change!"

It is such an emotive issue, and I don't think this is the place to debate it, perhaps a new thread would be much better--this is, after all, for poetry.

I understand why you find "Christianity" offensive, there's much about "Christianity" I find offensive too!
Reply Fri 2 Dec, 2005 09:25 am
Since you brought it up, Jack, I feel compelled to respond. I wasn’t going to weigh in on this subject of abortion, but after the several responses, I just can’t help myself – my fingers won’t stop tapping away. I know that it’s not the subject of this poetry section and maybe the coordinators can move this part to another forum.

As a mother of 9 children, I’ve thought long and hard about this subject and have read many, many reports, accounts, opinions, back and forth, etc. As well, I’ve been subjected to a lot of unkind and downright humiliating and hurtful remarks due to my decision to have so many kids. It used to irk me so much when I’d get remarks like – “Tell your husband I can help fix his plumbingâ€
Reply Fri 2 Dec, 2005 03:49 pm
I could not personally go through with an abortion, nor would I be able to advise my daughter to undergo one, but I think there are a number of compelling reasons why some women might make that choice in good conscience.

I'd like to understand what you're saying a little better, Acheick. You wrote:

I just think that the accepted logic that abortion is necessary if you want to have a fulfilled life is flawed and I base that on my experiences.

I think that the law on the books, Roe v. Wade, is based on the wrong premise and should be corrected.

Are you saying that you think Roe v. Wade is based on the premise that abortion is necessary if you want to have a fulfilled life?

My understanding of the constitutional premise for Roe v. Wade is the individual's right to privacy. In other words, the decision to have an abortion is between me & my doctor. I agree with conservative legal opinions that the child's father should have something to say about the matter, as well as the parents of an girl under the age of 18, so I support regulation of abortion so that these considerations are part of the decision process. What I don't want, however, is for the government to make the decision for me, which is what I see happening if Roe v. Wade is completely overturned on the argument that I do not have a constitutional right to privacy regarding my reproductive decisions.

Then we get into the problem of how to set "exclusions" in the law: What about pregnancies resulting from rape? What about pregnant crackheads? (Many of these babies end up in foster care. Do you know how much this costs you as a taxpayer?) What if my life is at stake because of a complicating medical condition? What about pregnant 13-year-olds who've been incested by grandpa, dad or uncle? The list goes on and on. Where do we draw the line, or do we even try to set up a list of exclusions? If all abortions are illegal, the government has decided for me that abortion cannot be an option under any circumstances. I really don't want to give the government the power to interfere in my private life when it comes to decisions about my health and wellbeing or that of a family member.

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