what went wrong?
Hi Day, I just found this post. wow, I thought I wound never find or heard from you. So much as happen that I can't tell it all. Do youremember me? Cherub Expression. Very few have I trusted and I find your posting to be a refreshing moument . i left around 78' and followed with interest the affairs of the Family. Please cant you contact me, I'm using the libray's computor now.

Hi Cherub! I think I remember you, dark hair and tall. We found your name together when you joined, right? I just can't remember which colony we were at and exactly when. Refresh my memory for me, please.
When I saw your message, I was thrilled that you remembered and chanced a posting. How have you been? I hope that you have gotten along well since leaving. It has been a long road for many of us.
Please let me know how you are. I am so interested.
Rachel (formerly Day)

what was, what happen, how it is today
Nice that you remembered. The Green Bus team;joined in El Paso with Happy and Honey.around 73' Yes it's been a long hard and very strange and twisted road. Years would go by with only a passing thought now and then about COG. I don't let anyone know that I was in the Family except very few trusted peolple, even then, they said that I need serious help. I don't like to hear scripture quoted or hear people teach or preach. What happen back happen for some time until I decide to move on and join the human race. recently I just found this site, I use to check out Ex-Cog and Friends and some other sites. I thought about what to tell you but it is long and brings up bad memories. But I'll tell you anything you what to know. I was one of those who Mo excomunicated in the Joel and Happy advisory. Any way, I'm interested in you! Still play the giutar? Tell me your story and I'll share mine. Now I live near Mcallen, Tx and just bought and build my second house. I', so glad just to heard from you.

Hi Cherub,
It was so good to read your message. I kept checking each day since I saw it, to see if you had posted anything else. I'm so sorry that I couldn't remember the particulars, times and places, you know how we moved around so much. I do remember how earnest and kind you were, such a sweet babe.
I had forgotten about Joab's name change (to Happy) and was unaware of the advisory you referred to, but I would like to know more about it. We were all so isolated from credible information, information about what was really happening to others and also well-trained to never question "God's will". I think often of Joab (Happy) and Honey and their children, Zerububell, Rachel and Noah. They were good to me and taught me so much about kindness and giving. I hope that they are all well.
The Green Bus Team went from El Paso to Laredo, then up to Dallas and eventually to Minneapolis, DesMoines and then to Chicago. When did we part company? I know there were some strange things that happened in Chicago when we arrived, but I don't recall where you went.
I stayed in Chicago litnessing and caring for the children of the Shepherds there, Keros and Rahamah, until going to Montreal and then to Paris in October '74.
When I have talked to others about that time in my life, it jerks me around, too, much like how you have said. It is sad to have given your best and then to discover that what you believed in was a cruel trick, lies and manipulation. It is so good, Cherub, to know that you made it.
Since leaving, I haven't played guitar much, but I have been learning to play the fiddle of late. The "Ashokan Farewell" is a song that I love and it seems to express the sorrow I feel has passed through my life.
If you'd like, you can email me at: [email protected] It would be great to catch up with you more in depth.
Sincerely, Rachel (formerly Day)

Zech. 11:4,5 says Thus saith the Lord my God: Feed the flock of the slaughter; whose possessors slay them, and hold themselves not guilty; and they that sell them say, Blessed be the Lord; for I am rich: and their own shepherds pity them not.

Hi Mary Jane Henry,
After making my previous response to Cherub's posting, it occured to me that perhaps others might not have the same opinion of the people mentioned therein. I have had no information about them since that time, except for a short quote I came across recently, which seemed to indicate at least Honey's departure from TF. My comments and opinion of them are strictly my own and are only in reference to my particular experience and time frame with them ('73-'74).
As for the Scripture excerpt you referred to, I am curious what your point and intentions were. I am hestitant to blindly lump all sheperds or leaders into the "guilty-slaughterers" catagory only because they held a position in TF's heirarchy at some time. Granted, their shame is greater than those of us who were under their oversight, however they, too, were caught up in the cult's abuses and deception. TF's unscrupulous predation is a reprehensible condition, worthy of condemnation and one that I have no toleration for.
Rachel

Hi Day - you are absolutely right! I just happened to come across that passage as I was reading the most recent posts and it seemed to fit. I agree that not all shepherds fit the mold - my husband and I were shepherds of a small "colony" for quite a while and we did the best we could as I believe most others did as well - it's the big shepherd I was thinking of! The family "system". You were in Paris around the same time I was I think. When we arrived we were *required* to hand over our open date return tickets for a family of 6! We were actually told that it was very unspiritual of us not to WANT to hand them over! That's the sort of thing I mean! Sorry, I should have made myself clear!

Mary Jane,
Thank you for your clarification, but no apology is necessary. Just posting messages can be unnerving for me. I struggle with the right words, hoping they will be understood in the manner they are given and trying to be sensitive to the effect they may have in other people's minds.
You mentioned that you had been in Paris. I arrived there in October of '74, from Montreal with Tychicus, his son Imri and a sister Rahab. Tych and I went to the colony on rue Monmartre, near the Bourse, while Imri went to the school outside Paris with Rahab.
When I was in Paris, til the summer of '75, I worked in the nursery most of the time with a sister Rosie. She was so much fun. (I'm sure some people viewed our attitudes and antics as "irreverent and unspiritual".) She and I both grew up in Texas, so we had this connection between us. I miss her, her stories and smile, and hope she was able to get away.
Were you at the same colony in Paris? There were about 120 people there when we arrived. Most of the people I recall, were the children in the nursery, or their mothers.
Tell me about yourself. I noticed, in some of your postings, that you've been a Montessori teacher. I imagine that your training was quite helpful in raising your family.
I have 3 children, two of whom were born while I was in TF. They have been such an inspiration to me. When I left TF, I was so disheartened and felt like a complete and utter failure. My children were the only reason I had to keep on going. I am so thankful for them.
Looking forward to hearing more.
Best wishes to you and your loved ones,
Rachel (formerly Day)

My memories of Paris are pretty dim! Was the 'chateau' near the St. Lazarre subway station? I think it was. David Z. was there briefly while we were there - he had been our (very kind) shepherd in Peachland, B.C. Also, while we were in Paris a car ran into the stone gates late one evening and many inside were injured - funny the things you remember! I remember the Montessori school on the ground floor - it was the first I had ever seen and it was for the children of the members of Les Enfants de Dieu. We spent a month or so there and then were sent to a very small colony in Angers which had dirt floors. I had an infant and spent months carrying him when he was desperate to crawl. Learned to make fresh mayonaisse! Now I have a granddaughter in San Antonio, so I have learned to love your home state! All the best, MJ

Mary Jane,
I'm amazed at how isolated we were, not only from the outside world but from each other, even in Paris. Although I was aware that there were other colonies, that was about all the info I heard. Where they were and who was there, was kept so secret. When I think of some of the conditions we lived under, all for the sake of the "gospel", while the "elite" glutted themselves on the fruit of our labor, sometimes it still makes me angry, I feel violated. They betrayed our trust, exploited and tried to silence us, then denied their misconduct. The saddest part is that they have continued to do those same shameful things and more. Mo, Maria and their cohorts remind me of the verse "It would be better for them that a milestone were hung around their necks and they were cast into the sea." I hope that websites like this one can help those who are still under their thumb to break away.
It is interesting the stuff we remember. I, too learned how to make fresh mayonnaise in France, come to think of it. The proud French people, their wines and food, the countryside hold fond memories for me, in spite of TF. I love the crepes, fresh baked baggettes and cheeses in France, the cobblestone roads in the small villages and the feel of old, weathered chateaus. My oldest daughter was born in a chateau north of Caen in '76. It fascinated me to see bullet holes from the Normandy invasion in the thick outer walls of this house. A few years ago, I went to Europe on a short trip and spent a day in Paris. It was odd, almost surreal, to ride the Metro and see some of the familiar landmarks. I was thankful that my circumstances were not the same as the last time I'd been in Paris with TF.

In some of your previous postings, I noticed that you had mentioned the Toronto colony. Did you ever met Favor? He was from Toronto (I think) and then he came to the El Paso colony sometime in '73. He was a provisioner when I was there. Favor was a such a kind person. I hope he has done okay.

Rachel

re: Dallas and Favor
I had forgot about Dallas and the Green Bus ... I was hidden in the back rooms of Dallas running communications when it came thru. So many names, I think I knew them all especially Happy (Joab). He was always on my case for something at TSC. I started out cooking at TSC and got into communications, hence the name, CookingHam. So much for me.

I had heard Happy and his family parted ways to start a new 'ministry.' My X's sister kept me informed up into '88. My X even visted Favor down in New Orleans around '87 -- thats about all I have heard the last 15 years.

Don't know if anyone remembers me. My wife, Martha, and I left in '77 after opening up a successful Family ministry in Memphis, Tenn. It was great getting away from the US Leadership. It didn't take long for them to replace me when I didn't follow thier rules ... Lucius.

Hi Lucius,

We weren't in Dallas long, maybe a week. I don't remember much about the colony, except for this really stern older sister whose name eludes me. Happy did have a way of letting people know when he was unhappy. On the Green Bus Team I helped take care of Happy and Honey's children, Zerubabel and Rachel when I wasn't litnessing. When we got to Chicago, the bus team went somewhere else, but I stayed in Chicago. No one ever said anything and of course "questions were doubts", but there was a sadness in our parting. It puzzled me then and still does. I wonder about the people who were on the bus team, where they went and how they've fared.

Can you tell me more about Favor? He was such a wonderful, selfless young man. I looked up to him. Did he stay in TF or was he able to get away?

Rachel

re:Favot
My exspouse knew more of him. He married about the same time I did but his wife and child left first. I can't remember her name but lived in my Mom's area, Savannah, GA ... a wierd coinccidence.

I traveld with on him supply trips to and from Selah. Yes he was a swell guy. The last I heard he had left somtime in the 80s and was in New Orleans at that time. Hope that helps ...

Thanks for the added info, Lucius. I hope Favor wasn't affected badly from the recent hurricane, if he still is in New Orleans. Anyway, thanks again and best wishes.

Hi Day,

I think I'm the Judah you were referring to in your post. Rebekah and I were with you in El Paso in 1972. Lots of water under the bridge, huh? We're still married after almost 34 years; four kids all grown and out of college pursuing careers; two grandchildren. You said you left in 1978; we left in 1979 after returning from Brasil.

Feel free to e-mail or whatever and tell us about your life.

Hi Joe (Judah),
It was so good to see your message, no ... thrilled is the word. Yeah, that's it! You and Rebekah were so kind to me back then. Thank you for how you helped me understand about being somebody, sincerely. I've realized over time what a challenge that must have been (it's the beauty of looking back over our lives.)
I remember you and Rebekah as having been from Alton. When the bus team was travelling north, we went through St. Louis and I thought about you all and your hometown, just across the river.
Rebekah just had a birthday, right? She is a Scorpio, if my memory serves me well. (I always thought she was so exotic.) You and I, both Libras, aren't not hardly as emboldened, but still yet dynamic and interesting in our own ways, wouldn't you say?
I'd love to hear more from you and Rebekah.
Rachel (formerly Day)

Day,

Glad to hear from you!

I see from reading some of the posts the name Chrysolyte comes up from time to time. Might she be the same Chrysolyte who was in El Paso? If so, she was with us in Mexico. Incidently, she got busted with us in Oaxaca by the Mexican Federal Police. They appeared at our door one night and wanted to search the house and after finding our lit they wrote us up for conducting illegal activities on tourist visas. We then had to appear in Mexico City for interrogation. Bottom line: Chrys and I were locked up for 2 days while Carla (Rebekah) was allowed to stay at a hotel since we had a 3-month old baby (Elizabeth, our oldest) at the time. We were then put on a plane to San Antonio and it would be in our best interest not to return in the future. That's for sure one story I haven't recounted to many people; only an FM would get it.

Chrysolyte has a brother who was also in the COG and for the life of me, I can't remember his name even though we traveled with him and his wife (Hilen-- how do I remember her name?) by car from El Paso to Mexico City. Do you know anything about them?

As time goes by, I find it rather eay to remember faces and events, but quite often names escape me. After all, this stuff happened 27 to 33 yrs. ago. So if you know of anyone else form back in those days we might know that frequent this site, please let us know. We'd love to touch base.



Joe


P.S.-- How in the world did you remember our horoscope signs?

Joe and Carla,

I've wondered the same thing about whether the Chrysolyte in previous postings, was the same Chrysolyte from El Paso. She mentioned her family as having been stationed in El Paso during the same time we were there, which makes me inclined to think she is the same Chrysolyte we knew. I haven't seen any recent postings from her, or had any other communications that confirms my thinking, though.
It is a little scary to start up dialogue about TF after all that has happened to so many of us. I never considered revisiting that time in my past until recently, counting those years as lost, ugly reminders of a very real hope that turned into a nightmare. You're right when you said ..."only an FM would get it."
You, Carla and Cherub are the only three people thus far that I have been in contact with, that I actually knew from TF, except for my ex-mate and his former wife. Hopefully, in time, others will find this site and maybe find some comfort and solace rekindling abandoned friendships, or perhaps make some sense of our mutual misfortune. There were people that I came to know that I'd love to touch base with, to know that they're okay or just thank them for their kindness and friendship during that time in my life. You, Carla and Cherub are very much a part of that group.
To answer your question about the horoscope signs...I don't know. It's just one of those wierd little things that sticks in your mind, I guess.
If you'd like, my email address is: glynhavenhollows at yahoo.com
Best wishes to you and your loved ones,
Rachel

Judah

You were shepherds in El Paso, I remember Elizabeth being at 1 year old able to stand. I also remember those horrible Poor Boy parties. Number of brothers and sisters have left and gone on with their lives ,but there no way to keep track of everyone that was involved.
Once I visited the Mexico City colony when I was with some independants
and they told me to come back in 2 days so I can get some lit. When I returned, the place was abondoned, empty, My friend told me I ran them off. I know now how paranoid and how quickly they can disappear without a trace.
I glad some of you escaped the maddness that has become of TF. I'm cautious of who I contact since I myself seen what can happen.