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Philosopher with the coolest name

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Who do you think had the coolest name?

I've decided I'm probably going to name my kid(s) after an ancient Greek philosopher. Well, probably an ancient Greek philosopher. Their names were just so badass.

So far some of my favorite names are Anaximenes, Theophrastus, and Maimonides.

Either that or Thelonius, just because that name has so much freaking potential.

I also thought it'd be cool to throughout the course of my life develop a bunch of crazy dense cryptic philosophies of my own, impart their meanings to my kid and name him Simplicius. That'd be kind of weird and selfish though, i guess.

@Aphoric,

Honestly, if I had to name my child after a Greek person if would either be Socrates or Aristotle, but the dark horse would be Xenophon. I would pick Xenophon in the end because of all the conventions it breaks. Now that I have pondered the idea I would name my child Xenophon Socrates {insert lat name here}. Honestly, Xeno would formulate a nice nickname, thus, enforcing the idea that more people should be named Xenophon. Not to mention it is rather unisex.

@Aphoric,

I dig Xenophon. Not sure how much potential it has as unisex, unless you or your partner or both were of some sort of non-white race, because then it would sound all exotic.

It wouldn't necessarily have to be a Greek though, I just personally think Greek philosophers had the coolest names.

@Aphoric,

What about Sextus Empiricus?

@Aphoric,

Aphoric wrote:

I dig Xenophon. Not sure how much potential it has as unisex, unless you or your partner or both were of some sort of non-white race, because then it would sound all exotic.

It wouldn't necessarily have to be a Greek though, I just personally think Greek philosophers had the coolest names.

You are considering naming your child Xenophon, but you are actually worried that it might sound funny for a girl if you were non-white?

Just by considering Xenophon or Anaximenes, you had convinced me that you have no concern for whether your child has a strange name.

If I were to pick out some names, I would go with 18th and 19th century philosophers: Friedrich, Soren, Immanuel, or Giambattista (last one is a bit of a joke).

@Mr Fight the Power,

Mr. Fight the Power;28074 wrote:

You are considering naming your child Xenophon, but you are actually worried that it might sound funny for a girl if you were non-white?

Just by considering Xenophon or Anaximenes, you had convinced me that you have no concern for whether your child has a strange name.

If I were to pick out some names, I would go with 18th and 19th century philosophers: Friedrich, Soren, Immanuel, or Giambattista (last one is a bit of a joke).

Your assumptions are incorrect. I feel the name Xenophon is more on the masculine side than the feminine, however it would be really pretty for a non-white girl because it would carry an exotic feel that just works better than if it were a fully white girl. There's no rhyme or reason to it, just what I think about it.

You're right about the strange name part. In fact, I'd rather they did have a name that is out of the ordinary. Something that would stick in peoples minds when they heard it, something to distinguish them from the "boring" names we give our kids like Johnathan, Matthew, William, etc.

Freidrech would be a pretty awesome name for a kid. I just feel like since I'm not German it would seem pretentious to pronounce it like that. I guess you could say the same for old Greek names too, but w/e:cool:

@Aphoric,

Aphoric;27982 wrote:

I also thought it'd be cool to throughout the course of my life develop a bunch of crazy dense cryptic philosophies of my own, impart their meanings to my kid and name him Simplicius. That'd be kind of weird and selfish though, i guess.

Just make sure you have a therapy fund set aside, as well as a college fund.
----
"I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue." -- Johnny Cash

@TickTockMan,

Yea.... not to be too much of a party-pooper here, but in giving a name to a human, who'll carry it for the rest of their lives, there is a rather huge responsibility to not name them something that'll bring too much suffering. It's not just children who can be ruthless to someone with a strange name; it continues on, trust me.

For anyone liking the notion of some of these ancient name, perhaps making them simpler (so as to be unique, but not so esoteric as to be sadistic).

@Khethil,

"Why did you legally change your name?"
"Oh I hated what my nutty philosopher parents named me."
"Oh I thought it was .... nice."
"You can call me Lance, that's my name now".
"Well to me, you'll always be Sextus Popper-Buber."

@Aphoric,

This kid will become a walking joke for 12 years of school (and beyond)...don't do that!

"Oh, there goes Socrates, the great philosopher!"

@Khethil,

Khethil wrote:

Yea.... not to be too much of a party-pooper here, but in giving a name to a human, who'll carry it for the rest of their lives, there is a rather huge responsibility to not name them something that'll bring too much suffering. It's not just children who can be ruthless to someone with a strange name; it continues on, trust me.

I will be the first to admit that it sucks that this is true, but a person with such a name would never be able to make a first impression with any quality he/she possessed other than the name.

Imagine the reaction of a potential employer who sees Xenophon Anaximenes at the top of a resume. People are judgmental, even the best of them.

@Mr Fight the Power,

How about....

[CENTER].........................Biggus Diccus...
[/CENTER]

[CENTER]or
[/CENTER]

[CENTER]Incontinentia Buttocks?...............[/CENTER]

@Pangloss,

Pangloss wrote:

This kid will become a walking joke for 12 years of school (and beyond)...don't do that!

"Oh, there goes Socrates, the great philosopher!"

A walking joke to whom? All of the stupid ignorant kids consumed with an unhealthy drive for normalcy and acceptance in a dissapointing society, who can't get past something as superficial as a name? And they would see him as a walking joke? I <3 the irony.

This is why I decided i'd give my kid a crazy name in the first place.

Besides, I'd never name my kid after a well known Greek philosopher, It'd be a really cool obscure one that only the cool cats would recognize.

I've been thinking about Parmenides. that whole name sounds awesome, but there's just no potential for a nickname. Maybe I could call him Thelonius Parmenides. Fav Jazz pianist + badass old school greek philosopher?

@de budding,

de_budding wrote:

[CENTER]Incontinentia Buttocks?[/CENTER]

You know, I've yet to come up with a name for a daughter...

@Aphoric,

Aphoric wrote:

A walking joke to whom? All of the stupid ignorant kids consumed with an unhealthy drive for normalcy and acceptance in a dissapointing society, who can't get past something as superficial as a name? And they would see him as a walking joke? I <3 the irony.

This is why I decided i'd give my kid a crazy name in the first place.

Besides, I'd never name my kid after a well known Greek philosopher, It'd be a really cool obscure one that only the cool cats would recognize.

I've been thinking about Parmenides. that whole name sounds awesome, but there's just no potential for a nickname. Maybe I could call him Thelonius Parmenides. Fav Jazz pianist + badass old school greek philosopher?

Conformity, as far as I can tell, is not unhealthy or unnatural. In fact, it is probably one of the most important developments in human evolutionary social growth. The simple fact is that conformity builds trust from others and comfort in ourselves.

Ask yourself this, why are you coming on to an internet forum asking people for the "coolest" philosopher names to apply to your child?

If I offend you, I'm sorry, its the internet and I can do so with little repercussion, but you sound like a high school kid who doesn't quite fit in and responds to this by doing everything he can to not conform.

Striving for non-conformity is no less an obsession with conformity than the people you mock for striving for normalcy.

@Aphoric,

Striving for non-conformity is also a form of conformity. You are conforming to the standards of the non-conformist, whether the non-conformist is aware or not.

@Mr Fight the Power,

Mr. Fight the Power;28482 wrote:

Conformity, as far as I can tell, is not unhealthy or unnatural. In fact, it is probably one of the most important developments in human evolutionary social growth. The simple fact is that conformity builds trust from others and comfort in ourselves.

Ask yourself this, why are you coming on to an internet forum asking people for the "coolest" philosopher names to apply to your child?

If I offend you, I'm sorry, its the internet and I can do so with little repercussion, but you sound like a high school kid who doesn't quite fit in and responds to this by doing everything he can to not conform.

Striving for non-conformity is no less an obsession with conformity than the people you mock for striving for normalcy.

Well. to your first point: Conformity is not as black and white as you posit. In order to determine whether conformity is healthy or not, one must first consider what trait that person is conforming to. If they were to conform to the social norm that is showing school pride then it is plausible to say that conformity is unhealthy. However, let's say that social norm is objectification of women. Is conformity to that social norm healthy? What about conforming for the sake of conformity? Is that healthy?

On your second point: You misunderstand my question. I asked "Who do you think had the coolest name?" I went on to list my favorite names, while concurrently listing the names I would likely give my child/children because obviously since I want to give my kid the name of whichever philosopher I think was "coolest," those are the philosophers who I thought had the coolest names. I was not asking people what they thought the coolest name was.

your third point: Well, you know what they say about what happens when you assume. No, I don't fit in. I go to a school where the social norms are materialism, superficiality, and willful ignorance (which I find are essentially mirrors of the social norms of the world in general). I do what I can to not be materialistic, superficial, or willfully ignorant. If you define that as doing everything I can not to conform, then so be it.

Your final point was made on the assumption that I am not conforming to social norms for the sake of not conforming. If I mock society's conformity to superficiality by naming my child something that only a superficial person would get caught up in, then am I not conforming for the sake of not conforming, or am I not conforming for the sake of possessing different values?

@Theaetetus,

Theaetetus;28487 wrote:

Striving for non-conformity is also a form of conformity. You are conforming to the standards of the non-conformist, whether the non-conformist is aware or not.

Well that's good, because I like the standards of the non-conformist much better than the standards of the conformist.

@Aphoric,

Aphoric;28478 wrote:

A walking joke to whom? All of the stupid ignorant kids consumed with an unhealthy drive for normalcy and acceptance in a dissapointing society, who can't get past something as superficial as a name? And they would see him as a walking joke? I <3 the irony.

This is why I decided i'd give my kid a crazy name in the first place.

Besides, I'd never name my kid after a well known Greek philosopher, It'd be a really cool obscure one that only the cool cats would recognize.

I've been thinking about Parmenides. that whole name sounds awesome, but there's just no potential for a nickname. Maybe I could call him Thelonius Parmenides. Fav Jazz pianist + badass old school greek philosopher?

Well, you do have a slight responsibility as a parent to at least attempt to set your child up for success. Inviting all of the "stupid ignorant kids" (who run the school social scene) to crack jokes about his/her name is not going to help anything. There are better ways than this to instill self-esteem and self-reliance than just throwing the kid into the lions den with the hope that everything will turn out OK. (This reminds me of the country song, "A Boy Named Sue", you should listen to it).

Your child might not care for philosophy or philosophers at all; he/she might want to conform with those ignorant kids (most people do). Don't set the kid up with a difficult situation. You could give him/her a greek philosopher middle name, and at least the kid could then decide to use it, or not.

Thelonious is a cool name, I will agree, and Monk is my favorite jazz pianist...still, it might get your kid beat up!

@Pangloss,

Pangloss wrote:

Well, you do have a slight responsibility as a parent to at least attempt to set your child up for success. Inviting all of the "stupid ignorant kids" (who run the school social scene) to crack jokes about his/her name is not going to help anything. There are better ways than this to instill self-esteem and self-reliance than just throwing the kid into the lions den with the hope that everything will turn out OK. (This reminds me of the country song, "A Boy Named Sue", you should listen to it).

Your child might not care for philosophy or philosophers at all; he/she might want to conform with those ignorant kids (most people do). Don't set the kid up with a difficult situation. You could give him/her a greek philosopher middle name, and at least the kid could then decide to use it, or not.

Thelonious is a cool name, I will agree, and Monk is my favorite jazz pianist...still, it might get your kid beat up!

hmm, that's an interesting point about setting one's child up for success. What do you define as success in that situation? success as in acceptance by the general crowd, success as self-reliance and self-esteem, what is "success"?

I kinda would hope that when my child reaches a school environment, they already have a very high-self esteem, and plenty of confidence - at least enough to not feel the need to conform. I recently saw a 60 minutes report on why humans conform in the first place: fear. Basic primal instincts that are instilled in all animals make it so that when an animal feels fear, they are compelled to join with other animals of their species. It's a survival mechanism that served man well thousands of years ago when he was dwelling in caves and fending off sabre toothed tigers. Nowadays, conforming on most levels is not necessary for survival, and on the social level it can be down right detrimental. I hope to impart this to my child in their early years so that they understand that basic concept throughout their school life (because man, I wish I had).

I like the idea of using the greek philosopher as a middle name, that's an option to be explored.

Also, my kid will be a 7 foot tall 'roid freak by the time he enters grade school, so getting beat up shouldn't be a problem:a-ok:.

I still have yet to hear which philosophers other people think have awesome names. that one dude S?ren Kierkegaard had a pretty badass name, though I think I'm more intrigued by the "?" than anything else, and I probably butcher the pronunciation when I say it.

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