Annoyance: Am I unattractive?

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VideCorSpoon
 
Reply Sun 25 Jan, 2009 12:19 pm
@Zetetic11235,
It's actually quite brilliant when you think about how he approaches the issue. Why not approach something so basic with the same type of ambition and greed as you would something for your success or accomplishment like a job or a something else like that.

Ironically, I would suppose those principles that Greene outlines in his books are mostly the same thing you will find in lighter, less severe books relating to love life and finding a mate... those books of course constructed in a much more politically correct tone. Because we are all aware that in order to stimulate your love life requires candles, soft jazz, dim lights, and a self help seminar for ten easy payments of $29.99

Oh... and for your information... its more of a cliff notes rather than a for dummies book! LOL! Just kidding! Its actually quite complex to read with subtle underlines and historical references that lend to certain parts of an overall message. Who wouldn't want to learn how Napoleon was able to get so many women or how Marylin Monroe developed her own particular type of sex appeal?
 
hammersklavier
 
Reply Sun 25 Jan, 2009 12:22 pm
@Bonaventurian,
Chin up, Bona. I'm 21, most of the way to 22, and I haven't been able to get a girlfriend either. In fact, my relationships with girls I have a crush on tend to crash and burn...badly. Which, I assure you, is far worse than simply not having a girlfriend in the first place.
 
Catchabula
 
Reply Sun 25 Jan, 2009 12:40 pm
@hammersklavier,
a) Still lost in references here. Greener, the Machiavelli of Love. Does the end justifies the means... in Love? VideCorSpoon, do I sense some cultural divergence here (again...)? Ambition? Winning? Getting there? Applied to Love?? Catcha off, confused as usual...

b) Not yet (hehe :bigsmile: ). Would in these matters the old maxim work: give up your desire and thou shalt be given? The very desire often keeping us away from what we want. Some really wise men around here? (Or women, for that matter ;-) )

c) Age. What do we still have on common? Bona and Hammer, stop weening, stop worrying. We were ALL there, we passed it all. Jezus, do you people ever see the News??

d) Masturbation is FUN ! Yihaa!! Very Happy
 
Zetetic11235
 
Reply Sun 25 Jan, 2009 12:47 pm
@VideCorSpoon,
I have read some of it. It quite frankly freaked me out. The relationship you gain from this cannot be very healthy.

To gain someone's affection through calculation and scheming alone is fairly sociopathic. The Art of seduction is at best a bizarre erotomanic calculus, functional, perhaps, but it reduces relationships to a game of predator and prey, there is no connection or trust.

Now as for Bon's problem:

You might want to stop this sort of behavior;
Bonaventurian wrote:

I was just now talking with someone...and I don't think this person will talk to me a whole lot more, especially given the conversation we just had. Curse my philosophical background...I seem to prefer the light of Truth to everything else. I sooner rathered to try to drag this person away from the darkness of error than better my social position. Seriously...this person might not wanna talk to me again because of it. This person even started crying because of what I was saying (I wasn't being harsh...I was merely using the Reason).


You need to realize that you will not succeed here. You have enlightened no one and only driven them further away. In fact, you arguements are not provable. Nothing is. Reality is not subject to proof. A closed system in reality is, but not reality as a whole. Every conviction you have is an unprovable one(except where a concensus in a closed system allows it to be proven e.g. we all agree that 1+1=2 and 1+1+1=3 and 5=2+3 so it follows that 5=1+1+1+1+1 this does not exist outside of mathematics and logic, and in fact, we cannot even have a complete sytem of proof in logic)

Know that your beliefs are simply that, beliefs. Do not try to force them on others, you will fail. At best you will simply get an empty agreement. If you get wholehearted agreement it is not because you have instilled belief in someone, but rather shown that someone's beliefs logically allow for your proposition.

You need to ask yourself this: Am I looking for another person who I connect with outside of shallow infatuation, or do I just want a quick flame? Personally, I have little to no desire for a quick flame; you might as well go down to the bunny ranch and buy one. If one happens, so be it, fine, if not, whatever. I'm open to anything, but all I really would go after is a woman that clicks with me, that shares some passions and interests, one who adds insight to my thoughts and desires. She doesn't even need to be that attractive.

Is this what you are looking for? You may not find it, but you will be very lucky if you do. Will a quick flame really do much for your pangs of lonelyness? I doubt it. I, however, am not you and you are not me, you have to know what you want before you can get it and no one else can help you there.
 
VideCorSpoon
 
Reply Sun 25 Jan, 2009 05:51 pm
@Zetetic11235,
I think it should be noted that Greene is not actually serious about treating the act of seduction as his Art of SeductionCatchabulaZetetic , if The Art of Seduction freaked you out, I would have reservations about recommending The Joy of Sex, Kama Sutra, or Art of war
 
Catchabula
 
Reply Sun 25 Jan, 2009 11:24 pm
@VideCorSpoon,
Hi. I'm a very bad sleeper and though it's 4 h 30 in the morning here I want to try making some answer. I'm getting a better idea of the book of Greene now and because I didn't actually went through it I may have missed some point. The book may have contained its own potential negation thanks to its ironyAddendum. Suddenly the word came to me: a satyre! How could I forget the famous words of my Idol: "It is so difficult not to write a satyre". Yes, nothing new under the Sun...

VideCorSpoon wrote:


I must confess I never heard about Flava-flave or VH1 or whatever, but I suppose that's just a Big Hole in my education. It must be something like "Kapitein Zeppos" or "Johan en de Alverman", only infinitely more important on a world scale. If it wasn't so it would never be used as a cultural reference in an International Forum, wouldn't it? Yes, the old weener here again, he was grumpy about this before. Ok, let's fix the rules once and forever: speak american, think american, shut up about what's not american and be glad some americans are prepared to read your bad ingles and teach you some culture. Hey dude, go on like this, you got the powwa and the moolah; I'm just a crazy belgian, resistance is futile, I will be assimilated. I am doing my best you know, consuming endless series here like "Friends", "The Nanny", "The Bold and the Beautiful"... I promise I will change, just give it some time, ok? Thx. Now start the laughing-tape... hhhahhhaahhhahaaa! :thats-enough:
 
grasshopper
 
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2009 04:48 pm
@Bonaventurian,
smile a bit, and start wearing colorful t-shirts.!
i always love a bit fat, smiling guys. be positive and stop thinking whether you are attractive or not, and you beter believe you are attractive instead of asking people. you can be what you wanted to be.
for ex. i am the most sexy girl in the world, for me. and nothing can change that..Razz
and everyone has a very-beautiful side. for example i love my natural hair color
and i always wear clothes that shows it better. and i cover my belly(cuz i'm fat there) but show more my breasts.
theese are all for girls, i know. just try to understand them and get the messages that are given Razz
 
VideCorSpoon
 
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2009 05:15 pm
@grasshopper,
Catchabula,may
 
Catchabula
 
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2009 06:01 pm
@VideCorSpoon,
Well, you know, when I read your answer I had it again: that good old liberating laugh, a really good laugh that had nothing to do with laughing tapes but with the dissolution of... well... the "negative" stuff in my mind. You know: all kinds of sorrow, professional as well as personal, my wife's MS and my own Parkinson, and the horror of Dendermond a few days ago... Sometimes -let's make that rather frequently- I'm not very objective or rational. although I do want to reach the detached serenity of the Noble Mind, calm as the deep blue waters of some Heavenly Lake in the Spring Sunshine of God's Smile (where the h*** did I get that??). There are so many lofty and detached minds here, Boddhisattva's giving up the bliss of Nirvana to stay among us humans and showing us the Path to Liberation. Ok, I suddenly realised there is no problem at all here: I am me and you are you, Europe is Europe and the States are the States. We are different and that's nice, that creates challenges and opportunities, thesis and antithesis. And we also have a lot in common, like the challenge of finding a girlfriend when you're twenty or the occasional horrifying bloody butchering. There's blood on the waffles now, and Belgium doesn't have to feel an inch better than any other part of the globe inhabited by men. Enough bandwidth spilled, back to the real problems.
 
Joe
 
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2009 06:20 pm
@Catchabula,
Advice for attracting women:

1. Clean yourself.
2. Money helps.
3. Project yourself.

Advice to Forming a relationship:

1. Communicate Constantly and honestly.
2. Reflect.
3. Express your feelings whenever you can.

This list may seem shallow in describing male and female bonding, but its worked for me and has produced some of the best times in my life.

peace and love....... and lust:sly-dog:
 
xXKanpekiXx
 
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2009 08:19 pm
@Bonaventurian,
LOL As a girl, these posts are very entertaining. It varies from girl to girl, but most of us like people who actually ask us how we're doing, guys who can hold an intelligent conversation.

Everything in moderation. It's very attractive if a guy can express himself and communicate, but if he does it too often, it becomes bothersome and annoying. Everything in moderation, my friend. In the end, it doesn't matter much on the outside if you're inside is good enough. Smile Keep trying!
 
schloopfeng
 
Reply Wed 28 Jan, 2009 06:00 pm
@Bonaventurian,
Hello Again,
All you really need to do my friend is listen to "nothing else matters" black album track 8 .....answer is there ...surprised you missed it:shocked:
Cheers
TTFN
 
rambo phil
 
Reply Wed 28 Jan, 2009 09:36 pm
@Bonaventurian,
Subjectifying yourself to others online already raises questions on a few number of topics. Having yourself assured/reassured about your own aesthetics is piontless. Just because someone says you look good doesn't mean the next guy will and if you truly believe that then it reflects a lot about your own opinion about yourself. Why should ANYONE's opinion matter to you?
 
Abolitionist
 
Reply Thu 29 Jan, 2009 12:09 am
@Zetetic11235,
it's hard to make generalizations about what women want and it changes with different age groups.

I've found that i'm simply unwilling to try to give them what they want, I feel that way about our culture in general (it's a rat maze without my best interests in mind) - so I don't have confidence and positive regard, and consequently not enough luck

but if your goal is to find dates and potential partners it's definately good for your odds to define the universal things that women want (especially in your target group)

by target group I mean mostly age and culture as well as their peer groups

here's a few generalizations that I believe in off the top of my head;

1. women tend to like men that their peers like
2. women tend to like men that make them feel comfortable and safe
3. they like them to be larger than them (especially taller)
4. they like them to appear and act confident in themselves
5. they like them to help them feel good about themselves
6. they like them to be positively responsive listeners
7. they like them to be regarded as successful by society
8. they like them to be good looking and healthy
9. they like them to be older and more experienced
10. they like them to be generous to them

there are some universal generalizations about what is considered good looking, the BBC has a section on the collected science on this so far
 
Dunkler Schatten
 
Reply Wed 29 Jul, 2009 04:59 pm
@Bonaventurian,
Well, smile more often, I'd say that. Other than that, I'd call you a very attractive guy. Your height and weight complement each other nicely from what I can tell, and your face is well formed. But don't worry, you probably aren't looking hard enough if you havent found a girlfriend yet.
 
Theaetetus
 
Reply Wed 29 Jul, 2009 05:01 pm
@Bonaventurian,
I am closing this thread. This does not belong on a philosophy forum regardless of what sub-forum it is posted in.
 
 

 
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