Vivian Shillander and children

My son Caleb's death
Since my last postings, I have tragic news. Our son, Caleb (29) decided to take his own life (while in Minneapolis) on Monday, Nov 21st. We will be having a memorial service for him here in Sioux Falls on Sat. Dec 2 (I hope... we don't have all of the details worked out yet). Richard (Barz) and his family are having one now in Utah, but there is contention and the kids' advice to me is not to come down there. Francisco and April and Caleb's ex-wife Erin and little girl Maya will be here as well as my siblings from CA and OK, and some cousins of the kids. John (Mahaleel) is also coming home from Thailand where he has been living for almost two years!

You can see pictures of Caleb on the web site Tito set up at http://www.shillander.com/photos.php

Thank you all for your prayers. We are very sad

Love in Christ, Vivian

Dear Vivian.

I wish to offer you my sincerest condolences at your sad loss.

more...
I have to post one more comment. I don't know where the problem came from with my going to the service for Caleb in Utah. When I did talk with Richard on the phone, we had cried together over the phone and he said to me "he was your little baby and my little boy." I don't know how his heart got hardened after that. There was talk of all of us coming and how we would read his journal together. So, you can keep us in your prayers over that. I...and I know Caleb would have wanted)...some reconciliation over his death. It is tragic and another sorrow.

my absolute deepest sympathies! Your story affected me when i was a kid and the memory of the way it rippled down all the way to me has stuck with me. i was your kids' age, and so i always imagined how i would have felt if the family was writing about MY family and if those things had happened in my family because there are certainly similarities here and there between our families. I followed your journey whenever it was made available here or there. Somehow I feel like i know your family and that the loss is personal (although we have not met). My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this difficult time. Crying or Very sad

Condolences
Dear Vivian and family,

My prayers go out for you. I just watched the video (which my mother told me about years ago). Vivian, I loved how you prayed in Jesus' name as you were leaving the first hotel with your children. I believe you know the One True God, and I pray that your now-grown children will, also, if they don't already. Keep relying on Him. He is Worthy.

hey
hey.
this site is kind of a joke
i am not one of the 5 children who were taken
but i am one of the 2 that came and retrieved them, you probably saw me
during that 20/20 video. i was a small child
now i am 18 years old. i am a half-sibling to these "kids" you guys still continue to talk about endlessly.
you guys needa stop worrying about this and start living your life.. maybe
someday some coolshit will happen to you like accidentally joining a cult
and getting on national TV.. until then.. keep on holding onto your balls and worthless lives. thanks!

sincerly,
anonymous shillander.

rofl wrote:

this site is kind of a joke. i am not one of the 5 children who were taken, but i am one of the 2 that came and retrieved them. ...i am a half-sibling to these "kids" you guys still continue to talk about endlessly.
you guys needa stop worrying about this and start living your life..

#1.) Hmmm, let me get this straight - Your brother just died and you're insinuating that our grief for your family is larger than your own by saying this site is a joke? Do you not care about the mother of your half brother (who obviously does not consider this a joke)? and do you not realize that this raid affected us all and that is why our interest in the other part of your family remains to this day? You must not have been aware of that ... or maybe your family, having been the 1/2 bros and sis's were so glorified in TF, that you now feel that you are some kind of celebrity and don't see YOUR unkindness here makes you sound like a joke?

#2.) you say

rofl wrote:

maybe someday some coolshit will happen to you like accidentally joining a cult and getting on national TV, until then.. keep on holding onto your balls and worthless lives... sincerly, anonymous shillander.

again, you sound like a very conceited person. and i don't find your scenario cool at all. and by the way, we aren't obsessed with your family, we just sympathize with Vivian. when you have kids you'll understand. our interest remains in the other part of your family as a good example of a bad Family example and our heart goes out to your family who may be suffering.

18 years old, huh? maybe that is why you sound this way. i think you'll change your mind about a lot of things in the next few years darling.

Cookie, this person may be a real good member and minimize worldly influences and therefore not watch TV or read the news, esp. if it has to do with those evil enemies, who are infested with vandari. etc etc etc...

PS: if you were in that 20/20 clip, and you are 18 now, you had to have been the baby...in which case, you wouldn't really have "experienced" any of what went on or the feeling in the family at that time. So you wouldn't/can't understand why some of us care about Vivian or the "kids" (who are now adults) and their well being. Rolling Eyes

Winter, i hear ya!

about the vandari, you know, i just find that so insulting and fustrating that they really believe in that crap about us, their kids. I am POSITIVE that they shield TFI from the news about them that's negative and sites where you can see another side (a side that's different from the GN's) becuase they KNOW they're gonna crumble if people are filled with ideas.

YES, they're right, ideas are dangerous! all ideas grow out of other ideas, and so something new, new ways of understanding, new ways of thinking about thinking that call into question many basic assumptions--that's dangerous for the family who devote 2 hours a day to reading the WORD! (or their version of it). 8)

Re: more...

Vivian Shillander Ellis wrote:

I have to post one more comment. I don't know where the problem came from with my going to the service for Caleb in Utah. When I did talk with Richard on the phone, we had cried together over the phone and he said to me "he was your little baby and my little boy." I don't know how his heart got hardened after that. There was talk of all of us coming and how we would read his journal together. So, you can keep us in your prayers over that. I...and I know Caleb would have wanted)...some reconciliation over his death. It is tragic and another sorrow.

Vivian - I am so sorry to hear this. You and your family are in my prayers. I do pray that Richard will reconsider. All the best - formally Mercy from Thailand.

Cookie wrote:

PS: if you were in that 20/20 clip, and you are 18 now, you had to have been the baby...in which case, you wouldn't really have "experienced" any of what went on or the feeling in the family at that time. So you wouldn't/can't understand why some of us care about Vivian or the "kids" (who are now adults) and their well being.

Well, and sadly, in a way, he almost sounds like he's jealous because all the hoopla is not about him. I've seen this happen before in tragic situations. Some people crave attention no matter how they get it.

I am positive that years of cult involvement provokes mental illness. Sudden changes like that are symptomatic of bi-Polar Disorder.

To Vivian and Richard
Dear Vivian and Richard,

I have really good memories of you guys '74-75! I just want to offer my condolences to both of you and your families over this emotional crisis.

I just learned last night of your son's suicide, and I just pray that SGA's can just bring this suicide issue to an end. Life isn't always downhill, and Jesus can help every SGA to pursue whatever goals they have.

SGA's really need to understand that they should not keep everything inside. They need to feel free with people they know, that they can share what they are going through, and that can help, to have other people share new ideas.

Take care!

Re: Condolences
Jess, Thank you for remembering us in your prayers. My kids (some of them) don't quite get the gist when I try to tell them of the source of my hope -- and joy. (Joy has definitely been fleeting lately.) I will never give up, though, because I know that I know that I know that God has led and guided me into Truth through my search. Seek, and ye shall find. It's not over 'till it's over.... !!!!!!! "Peace to all who hear these words and receive them... "

Re: To Vivian and Richard

Ironsides wrote:

Dear Vivian and Richard,

I have really good memories of you guys '74-75! I just want to offer my condolences to both of you and your families over this emotional crisis.

I just learned last night of your son's suicide, and I just pray that SGA's can just bring this suicide issue to an end. Life isn't always downhill, and Jesus can help every SGA to pursue whatever goals they have.

SGA's really need to understand that they should not keep everything inside. They need to feel free with people they know, that they can share what they are going through, and that can help, to have other people share new ideas. Take care!

Ironsides, I'm just learning how to respond on here, so, you'll have to forgive me.

Well, I'm trying to place you since you knew us. I have also taken down your number and will call you some time. My name in the group, of course, was "Naamah" so, we were Barz and Naamah Strong.

What is and SGA?

Re: more...

Acheick wrote:

Vivian Shillander Ellis wrote:
I have to post one more comment. I don't know where the problem came from with my going to the service for Caleb in Utah. When I did talk with Richard on the phone, we had cried together over the phone and he said to me "he was your little baby and my little boy." I don't know how his heart got hardened after that. There was talk of all of us coming and how we would read his journal together. So, you can keep us in your prayers over that. I...and I know Caleb would have wanted)...some reconciliation over his death. It is tragic and another sorrow. Vivian - I am so sorry to hear this. You and your family are in my prayers. I do pray that Richard will reconsider. All the best - formally Mercy from Thailand.

Mercy, it is always so nice to hear from you. I refuse to let the disgruntlement of the Enemy get me down. He only has power over us if we let him. Caleb's death is trying, but it's not over till it's over and we're all going the same place someday anyway. So, we have to keep fighting the good fight while we're here. Peace. In Christ, Vivian

Tito????

Acheick wrote:

Cookie wrote:
PS: if you were in that 20/20 clip, and you are 18 now, you had to have been the baby...in which case, you wouldn't really have "experienced" any of what went on or the feeling in the family at that time. So you wouldn't/can't understand why some of us care about Vivian or the "kids" (who are now adults) and their well being.

Well, and sadly, in a way, he almost sounds like he's jealous because all the hoopla is not about him. I've seen this happen before in tragic situations. Some people crave attention no matter how they get it.

I'm trying to follow the line and the lineage of how this was written. It sounds like you might be referring to Francisco's appearance on the program about Rickie R.? Francisco (Tito) was not the baby. He was the youngest of the four (Mahaleel, April, Caleb, Tito) and is now 27. The "baby" on 20/20 (July 15, '88) is my youngest, Yan (Jantje) who was born in Belgium and who is now 23.

Thank you for all of your prayers and concerns for the kids. April, in particular, is very angry and she and all of them need peace as comes from the Prince of Peace. God bless you all. V.

Re: Tito????

Vivian S. Ellis wrote:

I'm trying to follow the line and the lineage of how this was written. It sounds like you might be referring to Francisco's appearance on the program about Rickie R.? Francisco (Tito) was not the baby. He was the youngest of the four (Mahaleel, April, Caleb, Tito) and is now 27. The "baby" on 20/20 (July 15, '88) is my youngest, Yan (Jantje) who was born in Belgium and who is now 23.

I think the reference was to an earlier message in this thread signed "anonymous shillander" who said he/she is a "half-sibling" to your 5 children.

Re: Tito????

reader wrote:

Vivian S. Ellis wrote:

I'm trying to follow the line and the lineage of how this was written. It sounds like you might be referring to Francisco's appearance on the program about Rickie R.? Francisco (Tito) was not the baby. He was the youngest of the four (Mahaleel, April, Caleb, Tito) and is now 27. The "baby" on 20/20 (July 15, '88) is my youngest, Yan (Jantje) who was born in Belgium and who is now 23.

I think the reference was to an earlier message in this thread signed "anonymous shillander" who said he/she is a "half-sibling" to your 5 children.

yes, reader, you're right. i was making ref. to that anonymous person. sorry for the confusion viv. :wink: best wishes.

xFamily

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