"Amen, brother, preach it!"

tough luck trying to get members to post here. even reading from a site like this when i was in the family is something that scared me because not only would the shepherds monitor the sites that were visited and by whom, i just never knew how i could justify reading what xers thot to myself if i wanted to be a real disciple because the letters SO strongly discourage it to the point of accusing you of being a doubter if you did, and being a doubter is not something you wanted to be labled as, even in your own mind ... so dillusional, eh?!

I think by "members" he meant members of the site; hence "members" and "visitors". :wink:

speak up

Yes that is what I meant, thank you "m".

speaking up
Hi Jason -

I was wondering what you would like people to speak up about. So I'll shoot in the dark..

I remember you well, talented youth that you were. I went with you and your comrades to Dumagete. Remember that one?

Anyway, I'm so happy that I left TF several years ago, and of course all my 8 kids are out. I just wish I had come to my senses earlier and had had a slight bit of financial sense to provide for my children's and my own future.

Nevertheless, life goes on, and here I am in the boonies of Japan. Safe. Innocent. And forever an alien from this earth. I don't know a place on the earth where I would fit in. But that's how it is.

I'm glad you're well, happy, and at peace with your mother and siblings.

Wishing you all the best.

Talk about mind control, what ever happened to Christ saying "know the truth and the truth shall set you free"?

The fact is, xfamily.org reveals the truth and doesnt put things in a secret status like The Family Leadership. I had been friends with people in The Family and they lied to me many times about things, I just never got the full story. I had to come on xfamily.org to get the full story.

The Bible says, "prove all things and hold fast that which is good." I was told by many current members that these ex-member sites were full of lies, yet I followed the Bible when I visited this ex-member site to prove the content in it. After reviewing this website it was proven to me that the content of this website was truthful. How can you doubt the testimonies of: Mene Berg, Deb Berg and Ricky? Three of the founders own children gave heart aching testimonies of abuse, its impossible to explain away the testimonies of Berg's three children. I mean one making the claims is bad enough...but three!! Its pretty obvious there is something terribly wrong when three of the founders own children are making sincere claims of abuse.

Re: Hi Hephzibah

It is nice to finally hear from people on this post. I remember you and am glad you have also survived our "great tribulation". I have been out of the FI for 21 years now and I will say that TIME will help you adjust and not feel so alienated. Just hang in there because the worst is over and you are well into the healing process. I wish you the best and please feel free to contact me any time via my e-mail address. God bless. love Jason

Re: " Come on guys SPEAK UP it's ok."
Dear Jason,

Yes, it's good to be out!

I was a member in the early days, and met David Berg's four children. Like most others, I think, I believed that the COG were the only really committed Christian group on earth. But if any readers are still members, let me assure you that you CAN maintain a relationship with God and serve him having left "The Family".

Jesus said, "My sheep hear MY voice"... we need to follow him unconditionally, and no-one else in the same way.

"Jephunneh"

<[email protected]>

Im not sure how to use this but I was trying to reply to Jason. How did u get better I have been out for 19 yrs and my family still acts like it never happened I feel so crazy because I try to act like I was never there but I was and it was horrible and i don't have anyone to talk to. My siblings act like I'm being mean when I tell my parents that they were bad parents they treat me like a traitor but i was abused and beat in the family until I was 9 by many different adults that said they were doing Gods work.

Hello Clarav,
I have great sympathy for you, although the COG didn't get as close as family. But to have near half of my close friends suddenly turn into members and suddenly resisting me at every turn was disconcerting. It was over a year of wandering around in a fog, but studying whatever I found about historical Christianity, that eventually got me turned loose from the nagging COG denunciations in my mind. Now I have a firm grip on Biblical interpretation and a mental defense against the constant nit-picking that comes from such sectarians as the COG. As long as you haven't been able to break free mentally from the erroneous teachers, they will keep you spinning and likely to slip back, or find some other authoritarian group to smother you, or as some did, give up the whole quest to serve God through Jesus Christ and become some sort of secularist/atheist. My advice would be to find a catechism from some established group and study the questions and answers while examining the associated Bible verses. This will teach you to separate private interpretations from teachings that have persisted. Depending on your preference, you can try Luther's Small Catechism, the Heidelberg Catechism, one of the Westminster Catechisms. You could even try the Baltimore Catechism if you want to make comparisons. Start praying for your family members to be released from their superstitions - that will go a long way to loving them and distancing yourself from their misdeeds. For that matter, I should be doing that, too. Don't give up.

I can relate to your feelings.

Jason, I'm so glad to NOT be in the Family anymore!! I love all the choices. I can read whatever I want,listen to music,eat what I like. These seem like simple joys but when everything you do is a rule and you don't even have the freedom of choice, it feels like getting out of jail. When my sister and I came back to the States, I was 14 and she was 11.My step-dad told us our plane would probably crash 'cause we were backsliders. We were scared the whole trip back. My God loves me. I don't go to church and its amazing I even believe at all. The Family hurt me and abused me badly. My family is still suffering from the shit that happened in the past. I have beautiful kids and a loving husband who knows it all and doesn't judge me or look down on me. I am very blessed. I go to therapy and I'm happy most of the time. It's good to let it out sometimes and not let it define my life. I look at the funny,fucked-up side of things and that helps some.

I know it's been a long time since Jason posted this, but I appreciate his attempt to get us to speak.

I've only very recently found this page and perused it quite a bit.

It's been a long, strange road to get to where I am in my thinking about the Family, which has evolved a lot over 20+ years of not being in the Family.

I never felt this way before, but I'm starting to feel a lot of solidarity with other kids who were brought up in "the Family"... really anyone who was abused in any way by "the Family", but mostly us kids who had to grow up in it. I'm only just now confronting some things that have happened to me.

I'm so accustomed to calling it "the Family", but I'd like to get away from that, as that organization is the absolute antithesis of what a loving, caring family should really be.

Anyway, my admiration goes out to all those who resisted and were able to find a way out for themselves, even if it was just mentally, and my huge compassion to those of us who didn't.

And, thank you for creating this page, whoever created it.

One reason that many aren't speaking out: they just want to let the (difficult) past go, and move on with their lives.
Another reason is that many ex-members may be physically out of the COG, but they haven't been able to successively deal with the whole experience and understand what happened to them - what made them vulnerable in the first place, and then how it could be that they allowed themselves to be so passive once they got insights into the true nature of the whole thing. Such people can well be termed "survivors".
Those who have invested the time and the effort to attempt to understand the whole phenomenon - especially as it concerned them - and have come up with insights about themselves, as well as the true nature of Berg, as well as the Mafia which he created, and then applied these insights and conclusions consequently to themselves - these can rightfully be referred to as "overcomers". They're not just adrift in a sea, but have righted their ship and gone on with their lives, only stronger than before: "whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger".
I admit that for many years I was only a survivor. I was out of the COG, but because I didn't try to understand what had happened, but only tried to bury the past, it made me still vulnerable to the cult and have doubts as to whether I had mad the right decision in leaving. This can lead to dangerous situations.
After being many years out, I went through a personal crisis, and thought it might have to do with "backsliding" from God, from the group that God had supposedly led me to. I got back in touch (in an informal way) and a member shared "Mo-letters" from the time after I left. Normally, these letters arrived in a trickle, and that allowed one time to "digest" them, before the next ones arrived. But, now I read several years of these letters inside of just a week or so. Through that, I was able to get a certain oversight - see things in perspective, how these letters were being used to lead us, slowly but surely, in a certain direction (i.e. manipulation) - that I hadn't had before, and that really opened my eyes.
I had purposely avoided the COG critics (I had tried to stay "neutral"), but now felt it was (high) time to listen to what they had to say. It was like getting delayed exit-counselling. If I had had that in the first place, I could have saved myself a lot of grief.
Ron Enroth, an author with whom I was in contact, made me aware that Deborah Berg had written a book about the subject, and once I got ahold of it, read it carefully. That was the real clincher - and from then on I didn't have any more illusions about David Berg and what he was up to. Finally, I was able to celebrate my (Complete) Independance Day!
I realized that perhaps many whom I had known from the cult were perhaps not doing as well (similar to my own experience; my own sister, whom I led into the COG, had already committed suicide), and I tried to find them to reach out to them and be of any help that I could be. That was only partially successful - too many years had passed to be able to find them.
In the meanwhile, I'm not really active in that anymore, but I just read two books ("Not Without My Sister" & "Born Into the Children of God") and that stirred me up a bit, hence my contact to this website.
If any readers remember me and would like to contact me, I'm open to that. My COG name was Parmenas Tuesday, and I was a member from Jan. '71 to Sep. '75.

This message is late, but I only recently discovered this site. I hope you're okay. I was raised in TFI as a child and didn't have a happy childhood or young adulthood to say the least. But I also didn't experience the worst, and from reading reports here, others suffered far worse. It seems you did too. I hope you're doing okay and finding yourself. I think the guilt is the hardest feeling, and even my parents feel it in at least some way, even though they were responsible. For me, the hardest and longest process is learning learning that it wasn't your fault. Your reaction to the experience is in fact a rational reaction to an extreme situation. If I can help, please let me and us know.

Greetings, in Jesus Name. The Lord delivered me from the insanity of the Family in 1994 with my seven children. We left France and returned to Idaho, my home state. I was one of the original 12 FF girls and very likely the frigid one who Mo boasted he "worked on" for two hours. It was torture, and I did finally fake it. I believe Eman Artist said he used me for the picture on God's Whores. My children have all gone on to be successful individuals in spite of everything. There have been many struggles, but the Lord has been faithful to always keep us in his care. I am currently pursuing a masters degree in counseling and still seeking to make sense of my life. There is forgiveness in the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ. I Pray for the Lord to keep you all well and close to Him because that is really all that matters as we look forward to our eternal Home in Heaven. God bless you all. Sincerely, Beverly

It is true, that in the Family no one was able to get access to any of the "outside scoop" because of the intense monitoring. When my eldest son (13) had to wear a silence restriction sign around his neck for several weeks, I struggled and questioned overtly, and I nearly lost all my children over it, as they sent me from France to Belgium for "Retraining Camp" (RTC) for 6 months. I delivered my seventh baby and graduated because I learned how to kiss butt! I got my kids back and two years later got out of the family WITH my kids! Praise the Lord! --Beverly

That's what you got from all that? That's sad... I got that standing up and fighting for others that may fall into that trap called the family is the right way. Vengeance is mine.... Or whatever great part of the bible that I don't care about came from.

Yeah.. Now if only there were a website dedicated to ending "the family's " reign of terror" there has to be some warriors out there.... Amidst the touchy feely "get in touch with your emotions" sites I keep finding?!