What is an ideal family?

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Bones-O
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 01:49 pm
@Bonaventurian,
Bonaventurian wrote:
No. The a priori description is the nature of the union itself.

The nature of a union.

Bonaventurian wrote:
All other "set ups," so to speak, fall away from this Ideal which necessarily follows from our nature (I think that the natural state of humanity is the family). I'm not saying that every such union is "successful" in the sense that it'll yield positive results, or that every parent is a good parent.

Precisely, so in establishing what is best for the child we get nowhere. One can conform to the Christian ideal of the family unit, but that is not to say it is the best or any better than any other kind of family unit raising a child.

You seem to be hanging on the word 'ideal' irrespective of its context (and irrespective of the possible existence of other ideals).
 
Zetherin
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 01:50 pm
@Bonaventurian,
Bonaventurian;64752 wrote:
No. The a priori description is the nature of the union itself. All other "set ups," so to speak, fall away from this Ideal which necessarily follows from our nature (I think that the natural state of humanity is the family). I'm not saying that every such union is "successful" in the sense that it'll yield positive results, or that every parent is a good parent.


But you are saying every union that does deviate from this nature (a homosexual family, that is), will not be successful. Correct?
 
Bonaventurian
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 01:51 pm
@Bones-O,
Bones-O! wrote:
The nature of a union.


Since every human person has rationality in common, what I have said follows for all men.

Quote:
Precisely, so in establishing what is best for the child we get nowhere. One can conform to the Christian ideal of the family unit, but that is not to say it is the best or any better than any other kind of family unit raising a child.


If God is Good, and this is the way in which God's goodness is instantiated, we must say that this union is the best possible union for the child, individual instantiations aside.
 
Bones-O
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 01:57 pm
@Bonaventurian,
Bonaventurian wrote:
Since every human person has rationality in common, what I have said follows for all men.

Yes, and I do have the rationality to reject both the Bible and most of the Meditations.

Bonaventurian wrote:
If God is Good, and this is the way in which God's goodness is instantiated, we must say that this union is the best possible union for the child, individual instantiations aside.

Even, as per The.'s example, it appears extremely harmful to the child's mental health?
 
Bonaventurian
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 02:01 pm
@Bones-O,
Bones-O! wrote:
Yes, and I do have the rationality to reject both the Bible and most of the Meditations.


It's harder to reject the Meditations than the Bible. I wanna see reasons. Nao.

Quote:
Even, as per The.'s example, it appears extremely harmful to the child's mental health?


What about The.'s example? It's one set of bad parents. You can't compare worst to best. You have to compare best to best.
 
William
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 02:10 pm
@Zetherin,
Zetherin wrote:
There's no qualifying criteria which determines what kind of environment any child is raised in, no matter if artificial insemination is involved or not! Until you give me substantiated proof (or even a logical argument) which illustrates how children raised by those families which choose artificial insemination are worse off, there's no argument here. You have told me how you *feel* and nothing more. The sperm ad you posted does not logically follow all children selected by the family through this artificial insemination process will be worse off, nor does it logically follow all children reproduced naturally will be better off.

Artificial insemination aside, I haven't seen you present any coherent arguments illustrating how a homosexual family cannot provide the same love and care a heterosexual family can, either.


Damn, there is none. It is a no holds barred state of affairs. There is no way of knowing. If you think for one second that a child reared in a homosexual atmosphere is going to come out of the environment a well rounded heterosexual male or female, you are living in a homosexual induced nightmare. That is the homosexual philosophy. Breed others of it's kind. This isn't rocket science here. To hell with the proof you want, it doesn't exist. There is nothing to serve as a counter balance that will serve as a way of knowing how that child is treated, indoctrinated or exposed to, especally when it comes to gay men.(which was illustrated by the clip I presented of the FOLSUM STREET FAIR in San Fransisco in which children were present) By the time any harm will be noticed by the outside world the damage will have already been done. If after viewing that clip, you can offer the same rebuttal, you have an agenda that is beyond all understanding and a warped understanding of the atmosphere that is appropriate for the heathly welfare of a child for you just don't care. If I were a young parent under those circumstances, I wouldn't let you within a hundred yards of my child. Damn!!!!!!:letme-at-em:

William
 
Bones-O
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 02:14 pm
@Bonaventurian,
Bonaventurian wrote:
It's harder to reject the Meditations than the Bible. I wanna see reasons. Nao.


How about Descartes completely abandoning his own system when it comes to God..?


Bonaventurian wrote:
What about The.'s example? It's one set of bad parents. You can't compare worst to best. You have to compare best to best.

So the 'ideal' family unit produces a spectrum of quality of environments for children to be raised in, from terrible to perfect? Sounds like it has bugger all influence on anything, then.
 
Theaetetus
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 02:14 pm
@William,
My cousin in the lesbian couple family is definitely not growing up into a lesbian. She obsesses over boys just like any young teenage girl, and flirts with boys all the time. On the other hand, all of my gay friends have been raised in heterosexual families. About half had divorced parents, and all the rest had both their biological parents within the household for their whole lives.
 
Zetherin
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 02:31 pm
@William,
William;64763 wrote:
Damn, there is none. It is a no holds barred state of affairs. There is no way of knowing. If you think for one second that a child reared in a homosexual atmosphere is going to come out of the environment a well rounded heterosexual male or female, you are living in a homosexual induced nightmare. That is the homosexual philosophy. Breed others of it's kind. This isn't rocket science here. To hell with the proof you want, it doesn't exist. There is nothing to serve as a counter balance that will serve as a way of knowing how that child is treated, indoctrinated or exposed to, especally when it comes to gay men.(which was illustrated by the clip I presented of the FOLSUM STREET FAIR in San Fransisco in which children were present) By the time any harm will be noticed by the outside world the damage will have already been done. If after viewing that clip, you can offer the same rebuttal, you have an agenda that is beyond all understanding and a warped understanding of the atmosphere that is appropriate for the heathly welfare of a child for you just don't care. If I were a young parent under those circumstances, I wouldn't let you within a hundred yards of my child. Damn!!!!!!:letme-at-em:

William


To say every homosexual family which chooses to raise a child has an "agenda" is so blatantly and disgustingly discriminative it's not even funny. This hate, this disgust for a group of people, I just cannot tolerate.

You wouldn't let me within a hundred yards of your child, and yet you're comfortable with spreading this sick discrimination? William, I'm quite surprised.
 
William
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 02:42 pm
@William,
To all it may concern, I am done with innocuous rhetoric that always emerges from this pro-gay crowd in any discussion concerning homosexual and homosexual behavior. I can only hope those who followed this dialog got some measure of satisfaction in knowing a little more of what this group is all about. And I promise you, it has nothing to do with the welfare of children. My heart goes out to any child that is reared in those atmospheres. I will be the first to agree raising a child in the proper atmosphere, whatever that is even as it applies to heterosexual couples, is not easy in this reality. The family structure is has been seriously damaged since the advent of "women's liberation" and I can only hope we can heal that damage before the true repercussion's of the discussions we are discussing here today get totally out of control. It seems, not to sound too conspiratorial, that there is an element afoot intent on destroying all traditional family structure that began back in the late sixties, and early seventies that legalized abortions and pulled the Mother out of the home.
As far as this thread, I'm done.
William

---------- Post added at 04:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:12 PM ----------

Zetherin wrote:
This hate, this disgust for a group of people, I just cannot tolerate.

You wouldn't let me within a hundred yards of your child, and yet you're comfortable with spreading this sick discrimination? William, I'm quite surprised.


Yeah, as if the Folsum Street Fair is something to be joyous about. Talk about digusting. Well, I guess we all have our limits, don't we.
Sorry, we disagree. It is sad. There are just some things I am not tolerant of, and this behavior is one of them. Call me politically incorrect. I've been call worse and in all instances it has been from this crowd. You'd think I would learn, huh?

See ya'
William
 
Zetherin
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 03:08 pm
@William,
William wrote:
Yeah, as if the Folsum Street Fair is something to be joyous about. Talk about digusting. Well, I guess we all have our limits, don't we.
Sorry, we disagree. It is sad. There are just some things I am not tolerant of, and this behavior is one of them. Call me politically incorrect. I've been call worse and in all instances it has been from this crowd. You'd think I would learn, huh?

See ya'
William


I care not of the politics of it all. No, it strikes much deeper, my friend. The reason why I'm saddened right now is because I find discrimination to be appalling, I see intolerance driving humanity apart. From where does your hate of homosexuals spawn?
 
Bones-O
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 03:14 pm
@William,
William wrote:
Call me politically incorrect. I've been call worse and in all instances it has been from this crowd. You'd think I would learn, huh?

Well, we can live in hope.
 
Khethil
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 03:32 pm
@William,
Beyond measure, I find it fascinating how topics get so mixed, muddled and charged. That being said... I'm not sure there is an "ideal" family. Love, grounding, security, teaching and nurturing aren't exclusive to any particular set up. Some structures may lend themselves more readily yet wane on others - it's debatable.

As for the idea of homosexuals raising children and all the choler it's raised in this thread - though a juicy discussion topic - I'm quite surprised with. Today, this very day, while children are being drowned, buried, burned, starved, abandoned, sold, prostituted, fed through wood chippers and the like, I have a hard time buying off that being cared for by two same-sex partners is something intrinsically 'bad'. [INDENT] Many good-intentioned people see this as a bastardization of the parental role, while a great many more are so over sexually-fixated that to them, the only thing any homosexual pair does is gross, disgusting and deviant and that this behavior ends up tainting the child. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a mindset that stands high in the annals of Idiocy, Hate and Fixated Stereotyping.
[/INDENT]I'd like to speak to this notion of the nuclear family, as William described it in his opening post. I had this; for the longest time my immediate family consisted of myself (as the male breadwinner), my wife (who cared for our two young boys) and the children themselves. Yes, in my mind there's a distinct feeling of pride that I fathered these children with this woman who is my wife and there they play, happy and healthy. I know that I felt like my wife and I had played our roles as human animals have for thousands of years - yes I think i can say we were BOTH immensely proud.

But let's not waxe two-dimensional here. For me to say that this felt good, and it felt natural is not to say that I think any other arrangement for the rearing of children is necessarily bad. Quite the contrary! I've seen single parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, foster parents - and yes, homosexuals - make fantastic parents.

In my opinion, the ingredients children need to become successful are simple but not easy. The simplicity comes from the imperative that they be given LOVE; lots of it and lots of physical affection as well as TIME, PATIENCE and DISCIPLINE. I feel quite confident in strongly asserting that these qualities are not endemic to any particular configuration - they come from the heart, not the structure. Who alone holds these keys? Aren't they in each of us? And if so - what matters the structure as long as the essence of nurturing remains?

At least so methinks
 
Justin
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 04:00 pm
@Khethil,
Great post Khethil.

William wrote:
To all it may concern, I am done with innocuous rhetoric that always emerges from this pro-gay crowd in any discussion concerning homosexual and homosexual behavior. I can only hope those who followed this dialog got some measure of satisfaction in knowing a little more of what this group is all about. And I promise you, it has nothing to do with the welfare of children. My heart goes out to any child that is reared in those atmospheres. I will be the first to agree raising a child in the proper atmosphere, whatever that is even as it applies to heterosexual couples, is not easy in this reality. The family structure is has been seriously damaged since the advent of "women's liberation" and I can only hope we can heal that damage before the true repercussion's of the discussions we are discussing here today get totally out of control. It seems, not to sound too conspiratorial, that there is an element afoot intent on destroying all traditional family structure that began back in the late sixties, and early seventies that legalized abortions and pulled the Mother out of the home.

William this isn't a pro-gay crowd and such a sweeping generalization of such could be considered insulting by some. You choose to raise your children the way you choose and others choose to raise theirs the way they want to. Just as every Right wing Christian fanatic thinks their duty is to save others souls, this is nearly the same type of mind set. When is it that we will understand that we must be and do what we expect of others to be and do?

This world is evolving and changes are taking place all over the world. People change, families change, heck you can even change sex if you want to. I see no sense focusing on the minor things when the answers scream back to us yet on deaf ears.

William, you've voiced your opinion and while you may remember the movement of woman's liberation in the 60s, there are others who never even heard of it. We're not in the 60's any more nor are we in the 70's or 80's. This is 2009 currently and much has changed. I don't agree with all of it, I'm not gay and would not be interested in anything related but I'm not about to throw a stone at a gay couple when I live within a glass house myself. If they want to be gay, that's their business. If they want a child and they can raise a child with love and affection, then that's their business. I cannot change what they think, feel, or do, all I can do is be the change I would desire to see in them and let go of the things I cannot control. Again, gay family or gay couples in an effect not a cause. The cause is based on perception. It does not help matters in the least to respond angrily not taking into consideration the vast amount of changes that have taken place on this earth since you and I were born.

On the family thing, an ideal family is one that is described in Khethil's post above but, however ideal we may seem to see it, it again is only based on perception. The ideal family for one of us may not be the ideal family for the others. Since we are unique and autonomous, each of us have the ideal family and that can include friends too. My family was ideal for me but may not be ideal for others.... again, it's all in how one looks at it. To each their own.

Hope we can settle down a bit and discuss rather than become irate and respond with emotion rather than careful thought.

- Peace!
 
Zetherin
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 04:13 pm
@William,
Well, Khethil, once again you beautifully articulated my mindset.

Glad you're here,

Zeth
 
Bonaventurian
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 05:13 pm
@Bones-O,
Bones-O! wrote:
How about Descartes completely abandoning his own system when it comes to God..?


Descartes' being able to offer unsatisfactory answer to this or that is irrelevent. The conclusions I have mentioned follow with certainty. His conclusions are indubitable. If you want to make a claim that some other part of his system fails, then two things: 1. it's irrelevent to the propositions of which I am making use, since they are indubitable. 2. you have to show that they actually don't work.

Quote:
So the 'ideal' family unit produces a spectrum of quality of environments for children to be raised in, from terrible to perfect? Sounds like it has bugger all influence on anything, then.


If we say that this or that instantiation of the Ideal family unit (mother/father/children) produces a bad environment, then we rightly understand that instantiation to fall away from the Ideal. The hallmark of the criticism is that this particular instantiation is -not- the best. You can't compare best to worst, though.

---------- Post added at 06:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:13 PM ----------

Zetherin wrote:
But you are saying every union that does deviate from this nature (a homosexual family, that is), will not be successful. Correct?


I'm saying that outside of this union there's no point in asking whether or not it's "successful" or "unsuccessful." The results become irrelevent, since the union itself is unacceptable.
 
Bones-O
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 05:32 pm
@Bonaventurian,
Bonaventurian wrote:
Descartes' being able to offer unsatisfactory answer to this or that is irrelevent. The conclusions I have mentioned follow with certainty. His conclusions are indubitable. If you want to make a claim that some other part of his system fails, then two things: 1. it's irrelevent to the propositions of which I am making use, since they are indubitable. 2. you have to show that they actually don't work.

Okay, but not here obviously. Here I'll just say his conclusions are not only not indubitable, but are wrong and wrongly deduced. However, I started a thread on his proof in Med V that has died. Why don't you stroll over and either pick up from where that left off or just post any of Descartes' conclusions you think support your argument here and I'll dig in. The thread is in the Descartes forum... easy to find. I hope you do take up the offer - I've been wanting a good argument about the Meditations.

Bonaventurian wrote:
If we say that this or that instantiation of the Ideal family unit (mother/father/children) produces a bad environment, then we rightly understand that instantiation to fall away from the Ideal.

Ha ha, so even if no child was raised well in a family unit modelled on 'the Ideal' you'd simply reply that no family ever succeeded. Thus it is not demonstrable that the 'Ideal' family does produce a good environment ever, since there is no way to show that what made a family good, as opposed to another modelled on the same ideal but unsuccessfully, had anything to do with the Ideal. You simply have a distribution of quality of family environments linked to the ideal. Again, your ab initio method is fruitless.

Bonaventurian wrote:
The hallmark of the criticism is that this particular instantiation is -not- the best. You can't compare best to worst, though.

Of course you can. That's how you know its the best. If you don't compare, you can't say it's the best - you can only insist it is, which is precisely what you've done.
 
Zetherin
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 05:44 pm
@William,
Quote:
I'm saying that outside of this union there's no point in asking whether or not it's "successful" or "unsuccessful." The results become irrelevent, since the union itself is unacceptable.


And I think there's no point asking whether or not a union is "acceptable" or "unacceptable", unless we see the results.

We'll just have to agree to disagree, as I noted.
 
Bones-O
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 05:47 pm
@Zetherin,
Zetherin wrote:
And I think there's no point asking whether or not a union is "acceptable" or "unacceptable", unless we see the results.

We'll just have to agree to disagree, as I noted.

I'd go further. If the principles from which we determine whether a union is acceptable or unacceptable are not relevant to the results then you have one more reason to reject the principles.
 
Bonaventurian
 
Reply Sun 24 May, 2009 06:04 pm
@Zetherin,
Zetherin wrote:
And I think there's no point asking whether or not a union is "acceptable" or "unacceptable", unless we see the results.

We'll just have to agree to disagree, as I noted.


I'm not a utilitarian.
 
 

 
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