Why don't you care what others think of you?

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fast
 
Reply Wed 19 May, 2010 02:37 pm
Do you care what other people think of you?

I'm not talking about when you're online. I mean when you're out and about. I hear a lot of people say that they don't care what others think of them. I think that's ashamed and that people should care. There are times when I'm moody and just don't care all that much what others think, and I can see how some people (as they get older) may tend to care less about what others think of them. There are some ways in which I care more and also some ways in which I care less, but overall, I do care what others think of me, especially when I'm out and about. I suspect that I'm in the minority, and I'd like to know why.

There are people who go shopping in their bedroom slippers and pajamas. I wouldn't be caught driving dressed (or rather, not dressed) like that, let alone prancing around mass merchandisers as such in plain view of others. I'd be ashamed.

You won't catch me sporting a tattoo, and you'll never see me with an earring. Granted, there are less and less people nowadays that would frown on such things, but they are surely still plentiful. Besides, I don't come across too many CEO's of major companies looking like liberal teenagers.

What I have seen is a general attitude of not caring about what others think of them. I often hear it asked, "Why should I care what others think?" I suppose that question should be considered, but I'd rather stick with the question being posed, which is why don't you care much what others think of you?-assuming you don't care much, that is.

Will I drive a gas-guzzler despite what others think? Yes. Will I skin a deer despite what others think? Yes. Aren't there many things I do (and say) that others may not approve of or dislike? Yeah, I bet there is, but that I do them anyway isn't necessarily indicative that I don't care. My actions may seem to indicate that I don't, but really I do. That's why I refrain from certain actions at certain times, for example; hence, I do care what others think, so although I may still do what I want anyway, I may (may, I said; I didn't say always) postpone or alter what I do to appease others.

Some people are loud and boisterous in front of others, and they'll readily admit that they don't care what others think, but I do. If I'm not in the best of moods, I may not care so much either, but I'm not talking about such times. I'm talking about generally. Generally, I try to conform to what's expected-even if I may not always conform as expected.

I suppose I could go on and on with examples, but I suppose I have gotten my point across. So, in what ways do you care (and most especially, not care) what others think of you, and most importantly, why? In particular, what is it that drives you to not care?-if you don't, that is.
 
harlequin phil
 
Reply Wed 19 May, 2010 04:32 pm
@fast,
why should i care what other people think? i try not to offend and i try to go along with most social norms, but you can't please everyone, and most people judge and are too lazy to find out the truth.
what do you have against tattoos? whatever it is, i have tattoos, and so when you see me, you will immediately get an idea of what kind of person i am, you will make some kind of judgment on me based off my tattoos and my clothes and my footwear, and chances are, you will be completely wrong about me.
others might see me and think "that dude looks cool" and they might expect me to be a certain way, based off my appearance, and they are probably wrong.
so if i can't please everyone with my appearance, why worry about it. if you want to make judgments about me based off something as temporary as what clothes i have on, or because i have tattoos or piercings, you are entitled. no matter what you think of me, it doesn't change who i am.
another reason i don't worry too much is....i don't have to.
you don't come across any CEO's looking like liberal teens. i assume you think CEOs are "successful" and since they don't look a certain way, people who do look that way aren't successful? if you saw me, you wouldn't think too much of me, with my converse all stars, chain wallet, tattoos, t shirts, whatever. without knowing anything about you, i am pretty sure i have more money and assets than you, and i am fiscally worth more than you are. i outright own my two houses, two cars, and all the crap i've ammased over the years, i'm debt free. i don't work, because i don't have to, and i still probably pay more in taxes than you do.
so people can think all they want about me based off my appearance. i have nothing to prove.
 
sometime sun
 
Reply Wed 19 May, 2010 05:43 pm
@fast,
'Why don't I care what other people think of me?'
Not cant, not wont?
I do care what most people think of me most of the time.
I really only think socio paths or psychopaths don't, but that is because they cant.
We must uncover, what do I care about? What are most people thinking? and what is most of the time?
I care more about what is my duty and ability to impress upon people my positive side.
I am really working to make the world a better place, I care and think more about this.
What I care more about is what most think is my best self which is my dedication in making myself a better person to be in turn cared more about.
I care more about what I can prove is my best to people, because proving yourself to just yourself is defeating the purpose of why we care in the first and last place. I care about what others think of me because it will make me a better person in trying to prove something of worth to them.
I am a better person because I wish to be so for more than just my own opinion of myself.
I want me to matter and to count and to thrive.
And what do most people think, but that which is not proven to them or they do not wish to be proven to them.
Do I care what someone thinks if it were not my best?
If it is not of my fault they think negatively of me why should I care?
Because they may in turn be thinking negatively of them selves, that is why.
So try to never be that person and to never agree with the bad judgement and where ever possible try to prove them wrong.
Sometimes proving someone wrong is the best care for them.
As long as the right is better than the wrong work your hardest to change yourself or them.
Caring for yourself and others is making both sides better and truer.
Both caring about your and their merits and your and their prejudices is what makes us want to be better fuller happier and all round more positively productive members of a family called man.
Most of the time, Ah now we come to actively rising above what others may either be prejudiced against you for and of making sure all you do is not based and biased by exclusively what others may or not think of me.
Sometimes we must be more concerned about our own self security and survival and this is to care also what one thinks of ones self is worth more than just what others can only perceive.
To care more of what you can be then what others think you cant be.
It can even be a tool.
I am the one who will have to ultimately live with my own judgements and self, if I cannot live with and be proud of myself then I am of no use to any one else's care.
What I wish to be cared for about needs to be real and I must also care about myself in order to make myself real whether for myself or for others.

No point in caring what cannot happen or be thought?

I must care what I think because it will make what you think matter.
I must care what you think because it will make what I think matter.

If any of these cares and thoughts make you or I a worse person it could be said that I must care more of others than myself if it is hurting someone other than one.
But some people hurt themselves and there is nothing one can ever do or change in order to heal them apart from make sure it no longer is of a negative influence on you.
So not caring is justifiable if all you are doing is caring or thinking about the worst of others or yourself.
But I am also of the mind that we all do care, it just gets disguised and distorted.
Sometimes must we actively not care in order to be able to continue to care in the best possible and actually provable positive matter?
We cannot become better if we care that someone thinks we cant be better.?
We cannot care about the careless unless it is to make sure we do not become as so.?
Sometimes we must not care in order to be able to keep caring.?

'Why should I care what others think'?
Because it will make of you and I a better and more caring thoughtful and greater person.
As long as what you care about is helping them think good thoughts, the truth, as long as what you care about is that they care about you and care for themselves. Truth.
As long as all you try to do in life is to prove to others you are worthy of their care and that they are worthy of yours I think you can be quite happy.
And because ultimately it is what others care about you for that will afford you more and further freedoms in your and their life. And this will ultimately give the opportunity to be cared about and to care about even more.
The more we care about others the more we can care about ourselves.
This could be quite selfish in its way, The more I love the more I can be loved.
Love is cool and worth caring about.

'What ways do I care what others think of me?'
Ultimately as long as it is not caring or thinking I have or will harm or hurt I am just fortunate enough to care and think for myself.
And as long as I can care enough about what you and I think of each other I don't see the harm in either caring more for yourself or more for others as long as both are taken into care and thought and one is not cared less for.

I hear you ask; how can one care more for them selves or others but not less for themselves or others.?
Of which I can only answer; Do NO harm and you are at liberty to be as selfish or selfless as you like.
Does beg the question though; If I am keeping myself to myself am I not harming you by denying you of me?

I am a bit lost in this answer, but here it is.
As long as what you care about does not lead others to care less or badly for themselves or for others, I would say care as much or as little as you or they like.

(This is actually a really hard question to answer)
 
Jebediah
 
Reply Wed 19 May, 2010 06:20 pm
@sometime sun,
Pretty much everyone cares about what other people think about them. So the question is to what degree you should care. You can't quite help feeling embarrassed or upset if others think poorly of you, and when others think well of you it is a good feeling, and good things come with being well liked. On the other hand, other people can be stupid, and you have to think about what you want to do.

I think you should care about what people who have good judgment think about you, and let the opinions of the rest slide off your back.
 
fast
 
Reply Thu 20 May, 2010 10:01 am
@harlequin phil,
[QUOTE=harlequin;166203]what do you have against tattoos?[/QUOTE]I think some of 'em are kinda cool. I'm not necessarily going to judge you simply because you have tatoos. That would be silly--short sighted even.

Recall exactly what I said:

You won't catch me sporting a tattoo, and you'll never see me with an earring. Granted, there are less and less people nowadays that would frown on such things, but they are surely still plentiful. Besides, I don't come across too many CEO's of major companies looking like liberal teenagers.

I said, "they are surely still plentiful." That is obviously an understatement, as droves of people still frown upon such things. I don't want to be frowned upon, so I'm not going to put myself in such a position--at least not over something as unneccesary and unimportant in the grand scheme of things as tatoos and earrings.

Do I judge others? Yes, I suppose I should confess that I do, but many times, I judge them only to the extent I think others will, but that's for another story.

[QUOTE]i still probably pay more in taxes than you do.[/QUOTE]You're not the first person to tell me that.

I have some rather wealthy acquaintences, and some of them own a slew of franchises. When I hear them talk positively (boast even) about the royalties they pay, I am always a bit perplexed-or taken back, as they say. They tell me they don't mind paying them because for them, they figure it's a sign they're making a boatload of money. Yes, I suppose that's true.
 
kennethamy
 
Reply Thu 20 May, 2010 10:49 am
@fast,
Everyone cares about what others think of them, particularly those who don't care what others think of them, since they seem care a lot about that.
 
Zetherin
 
Reply Thu 20 May, 2010 11:12 am
@fast,
fast wrote:

I think that's ashamed and that people should care


I have often found that those who go around flaunting that they don't care what other people think are the ones who care the most. People use this immature claim as a sort of defensive mechanism, and it seems to me that they are contradicting themselves - if they really didn't care, why are they bothering to tell us they don't care in the first place?

EDIT: I really didn't look at kennethamy's post before writing this - I swear!
 
GoshisDead
 
Reply Thu 20 May, 2010 11:25 am
@kennethamy,
the claim "I don't care what people think of me" is a statement about approval/positive reinforcement. What people interpret it as often is "I don't care about acceptance". They are not the same thing. Humans who truely do not care about acceptance into a group of some sort, are normally classified as insane. Everyone cares about acceptance, it is the reason why people who do not care about approval strive to make their group more accepted.

So when a person says "i don't care about what people think about me" they are saying (I don't need approval in regards to my current dominant group's tructural norms, and although there is a groupm that accepts me, I expect the current dominant group to make concessions).
 
HexHammer
 
Reply Thu 20 May, 2010 11:28 am
@fast,
It is an interesting dualistic phenomena in humans.

Imo it lies in the preception of allerged action, is it a small violence, or great violence of our laws. Most people doesn't consider speeding in a car for a serious crime, but sometimes if it's very high speed it can have serious complications thus it depends on 2nd factors others than the primary factor.

So, what people may see as cynically people, that only care for themselfs, or the opposit those who are overly fixated on others oppinioons it's all a matter of their situational preception, the benefit/cost ..if the punishment are too great they may not do it, but if they see no risk ..they will.
 
Ding an Sich
 
Reply Thu 20 May, 2010 11:37 am
@fast,
fast;166182 wrote:
Do you care what other people think of you?

I'm not talking about when you're online. I mean when you're out and about. I hear a lot of people say that they don't care what others think of them. I think that's ashamed and that people should care. There are times when I'm moody and just don't care all that much what others think, and I can see how some people (as they get older) may tend to care less about what others think of them. There are some ways in which I care more and also some ways in which I care less, but overall, I do care what others think of me, especially when I'm out and about. I suspect that I'm in the minority, and I'd like to know why.

There are people who go shopping in their bedroom slippers and pajamas. I wouldn't be caught driving dressed (or rather, not dressed) like that, let alone prancing around mass merchandisers as such in plain view of others. I'd be ashamed.

You won't catch me sporting a tattoo, and you'll never see me with an earring. Granted, there are less and less people nowadays that would frown on such things, but they are surely still plentiful. Besides, I don't come across too many CEO's of major companies looking like liberal teenagers.

What I have seen is a general attitude of not caring about what others think of them. I often hear it asked, "Why should I care what others think?" I suppose that question should be considered, but I'd rather stick with the question being posed, which is why don't you care much what others think of you?-assuming you don't care much, that is.

Will I drive a gas-guzzler despite what others think? Yes. Will I skin a deer despite what others think? Yes. Aren't there many things I do (and say) that others may not approve of or dislike? Yeah, I bet there is, but that I do them anyway isn't necessarily indicative that I don't care. My actions may seem to indicate that I don't, but really I do. That's why I refrain from certain actions at certain times, for example; hence, I do care what others think, so although I may still do what I want anyway, I may (may, I said; I didn't say always) postpone or alter what I do to appease others.

Some people are loud and boisterous in front of others, and they'll readily admit that they don't care what others think, but I do. If I'm not in the best of moods, I may not care so much either, but I'm not talking about such times. I'm talking about generally. Generally, I try to conform to what's expected-even if I may not always conform as expected.

I suppose I could go on and on with examples, but I suppose I have gotten my point across. So, in what ways do you care (and most especially, not care) what others think of you, and most importantly, why? In particular, what is it that drives you to not care?-if you don't, that is.


I care what others think of me; usually when another person criticizes me or points out some flaw I, for the most part, take it into consideration, and change if I feel convicted of the charge against me. I also tend to show at least some form of good manners toward other people because I want to give a good impression. This also applies to appearance: you have to look well kept (people, overall, judge you by your appearance at first).

Granted there are things that I am not too concerned as to whether or not people care about me, but they are overall minute. Activities for example; the biggest one being philosophy (I do not think anyone will object or think badly about me for doing, and reading, philosophy). I do not think anyone will think ill of me either when I tell them that I work out. So these activities do not constitute such criticism as to make me care of what others think.

Anywho thats all I got.
 
Soul Brother
 
Reply Thu 20 May, 2010 06:11 pm
@Ding an Sich,
fast;166182 wrote:
There are people who go shopping in their bedroom slippers and pajamas.


I started wearing plain white open toe bedroom slippers to the shops etc, then young people started copying me!


GoshisDead;166533 wrote:
Humans who truely do not care about acceptance into a group of some sort, are normally classified as insane.


(Classified), only that.

Ding_an_Sich;166536 wrote:
(I do not think anyone will object or think badly about me for doing, and reading, philosophy). .


I do not tell people i know especially those close that I am a philosopher, They might think I am actually insane.
 
Ding an Sich
 
Reply Thu 20 May, 2010 06:47 pm
@Soul Brother,
Soul Brother;166652 wrote:

I do not tell people i know especially those close that I am a philosopher, They might think I am actually insane.


I do not usually tell people that: its evident. Especially when you see me carrying around a work of Kant, Hegel, Schopenhauer or whoever is enthralling me at the time. Right now its John Locke haha.
 
Leonard
 
Reply Thu 20 May, 2010 08:15 pm
@fast,
I'd rather appear self-interested by caring what others think of me than risk appearing more self-interested by attempting to make myself appear as if I don't care.
 
 

 
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