Basic Instinct 1: How to get a date!

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Pepijn Sweep
 
Reply Wed 28 Apr, 2010 08:30 am
@platorepublic,
I seem to know only one starsign; Big Bear in Dutch translated to English
 
platorepublic
 
Reply Sat 1 May, 2010 02:08 am
@Pepijn Sweep,
Pepijn Sweep;157530 wrote:
I seem to know only one starsign; Big Bear in Dutch translated to English

Oh really looking at the skies and stars for answers!

I thought you guys meant looking at the skies in a park, and you might find a date on the ground, i.e. in this case, the park, and then you guys start gazing the sky together, and then eventually your eyes, etc etc. Lol - too optimistic!
 
mishmish
 
Reply Sat 1 May, 2010 03:48 am
@platorepublic,
Wear a nice shirt, nice jeans and clean shoes. During your day/night out, smile, communicate and look forward to only one thing throughout your day; the thought of coming home to take your shirt off. Nothing more. No thoughts about sex or prospects of it. Communicate your desires. Do this everyday and soon a girl/guy will be the one who takes it off for you. Most importantly - have fun - there's nothing more attractive than to watch someone laughing out loud and having fun Smile
 
platorepublic
 
Reply Sat 1 May, 2010 04:58 am
@mishmish,
mishmish;158778 wrote:
Wear a nice shirt, nice jeans and clean shoes. During your day/night out, smile, communicate and look forward to only one thing throughout your day; the thought of coming home to take your shirt off. Nothing more. No thoughts about sex or prospects of it. Communicate your desires. Do this everyday and soon a girl/guy will be the one who takes it off for you. Most importantly - have fun - there's nothing more attractive than to watch someone laughing out loud and having fun Smile

You do just mean, wear something good. Cause I don't like wearing T-shirts or jeans.

"Do this everyday and soon a..."

Well eventually... but of course what you say will work. Because you could argue, it's not long enough.

And is it THAT important to have fun? I have enough fun already.
 
mishmish
 
Reply Sat 1 May, 2010 05:47 pm
@platorepublic,
platorepublic;158844 wrote:
You do just mean, wear something good. Cause I don't like wearing T-shirts or jeans.

"Do this everyday and soon a..."

Well eventually... but of course what you say will work. Because you could argue, it's not long enough.

And is it THAT important to have fun? I have enough fun already.


Right, wear something that will give the person you desire a good impression. Many women are attracted to men on an visual and emotional level. Men are very similar actually, although visual attraction is much stronger to be arousing. It helps to look good, but attraction is really more to do with your attitude. Unfortuantly, it seems like the majority of the dating world is like a game. One very philosophical look in the dating world is that humans - like most animals - usually want what we can't have. If you can make yourself seem as if your unattainable why communicating sexual desire, your bound to increase attractivness.
 
platorepublic
 
Reply Sun 2 May, 2010 01:14 am
@mishmish,
mishmish;159102 wrote:
Right, wear something that will give the person you desire a good impression. Many women are attracted to men on an visual and emotional level. Men are very similar actually, although visual attraction is much stronger to be arousing. It helps to look good, but attraction is really more to do with your attitude. Unfortuantly, it seems like the majority of the dating world is like a game. One very philosophical look in the dating world is that humans - like most animals - usually want what we can't have. If you can make yourself seem as if your unattainable why communicating sexual desire, your bound to increase attractivness.

YES YES YES! You hit it right on the jackpot!

I always want what I can't have! So I should also make myself seem unattainable? How would I even do that, lol? Put needles protruding my clothing?
 
Pepijn Sweep
 
Reply Sun 2 May, 2010 03:44 am
@platorepublic,
platorepublic;159201 wrote:
YES YES YES! You hit it right on the jackpot!

I always want what I can't have! So I should also make myself seem unattainable? How would I even do that, lol? Put needles protruding my clothing?


Stay on-line. My boyfriend seems to want attention all the Times
 
platorepublic
 
Reply Sun 2 May, 2010 04:29 am
@Pepijn Sweep,
Pepijn Sweep;159235 wrote:
Stay on-line. My boyfriend seems to want attention all the Times

Oh so that's why facebook is so popular! It's one way to stay unattainable ---> attraction!!

I quit facebook etc etc already, so that is definitely not an option. I need a more general and THE BEST way to persuade unattainability! To be a monk - ewww I don't want to do that lol! Smile
 
blogbomber
 
Reply Thu 6 May, 2010 02:01 pm
@platorepublic,
Facebook keeps you from becoming a hermit
 
platorepublic
 
Reply Thu 6 May, 2010 02:15 pm
@blogbomber,
blogbomber;160914 wrote:
Facebook keeps you from becoming a hermit

I don't think so. If you are a hermit, you will be a hermit. Facebook makes no difference.
 
blogbomber
 
Reply Thu 6 May, 2010 02:19 pm
@platorepublic,
True, but you have more tools at your disposal
 
Pyrrho
 
Reply Thu 6 May, 2010 02:26 pm
@platorepublic,
platorepublic;160918 wrote:
blogbomber;160914 wrote:
Facebook keeps you from becoming a hermit

I don't think so. If you are a hermit, you will be a hermit. Facebook makes no difference.


I think Facebook helps one be a hermit, as it is a way of avoiding actual contact with people, while pretending that one is not alone with one's computer.
 
blogbomber
 
Reply Thu 6 May, 2010 02:35 pm
@Pyrrho,
Pyrrho;160922 wrote:
I think Facebook helps one be a hermit, as it is a way of avoiding actual contact with people, while pretending that one is not alone with one's computer.


Well, like all tools it could be used for the better or worse. Ultimately it's the person using the tool that determines that. Anyways, going back to the original post about dates.

Body language plays a large role do you think? Eyes get larger, skin turns red, touching hair, etc... The more observant you are you will be able to pick up on the subtle changes in people... any thoughts?
 
mishmish
 
Reply Thu 6 May, 2010 09:05 pm
@blogbomber,
blogbomber;160924 wrote:
Body language plays a large role do you think? Eyes get larger, skin turns red, touching hair, etc... The more observant you are you will be able to pick up on the subtle changes in people... any thoughts?


Body language is huge component in the process of attraction. There are countless books on how to attract the opposite sex using techniques of seduction and attraction. You can be very observant but still get nowhere with it. You must act on the changes you see in people.

Simple tips:
Smile: Smile while you talk to people, smile when you enter a room or bar. Brush your teeth before you go out and practice smiling in the mirror while your brushing :a-ok:
Look good: present yourself so that people get a head start on becoming attracted to you. Fashion is the term we use in culture to describe appearance. It doesn't mean overload yourself with make up or hair gel.
Have fun: when your out with friends or on your own, have fun! Create situations that will make you laugh. If at a bar or a nightclub, dance! If at a social gathering, tell a joke that you looked up online. If dating, do something you both haven't done before.
Have a goal: Try this - have a realist goal that you can do after your night out, or date, for when you get back home. This goal must not involve the another person. Keep goals simple, the goal can be sexual too: eg. to take all your clothes off and when you get home to have bath or to sleep naked. Think about the goal throughout the conversation you maintain with the person too, and smile when you think about your goal. If the person asks you what your thinking about, keep your goal a secret! Always complete your goals - unless you've been distracted by the person you've seduced! :whistling:

It should be noted that if your talking to someone and they're not keeping much eye contact with you, psychologically, they're shy or they don't want to see you. Try a different approach of communicating with them, if that fails and if you can't see yourself being happy with them - then move on! You'll find someone who is attracted to you faster than wasting time on someone who doesn't appreciate your presence!
 
blogbomber
 
Reply Thu 6 May, 2010 11:56 pm
@mishmish,
mishmish;161089 wrote:

It should be noted that if your talking to someone and they're not keeping much eye contact with you, psychologically, they're shy or they don't want to see you.


How do you tell the difference?

mishmish;161089 wrote:

Try a different approach of communicating with them, if that fails and if you can't see yourself being happy with them - then move on! You'll find someone who is attracted to you faster than wasting time on someone who doesn't appreciate your presence!


Phone conversation, email, txt msgs, etc... those are cop-outs initially. Maybe other means of communication as a follow up is "ok" but probably in person is best. Eventually your going to see the person; you can't hide behind the computer forever.

:a-ok: post
 
mishmish
 
Reply Fri 7 May, 2010 12:47 pm
@blogbomber,
blogbomber;161127 wrote:
How do you tell the difference?


They'll be doing the opposite to expressing confidence :rolleyes:
Well, the most common sign of shyness is mumbling, which is talking in a quite voice failing to properly articulate. Just think about how you act when your shy - it's similar for all people so they'll be behaving similarly.

blogbomber;161127 wrote:

Phone conversation, email, txt msgs, etc... those are cop-outs initially. Maybe other means of communication as a follow up is "ok" but probably in person is best. Eventually your going to see the person; you can't hide behind the computer forever.

The best form of communication is face-to-face! You can be a master at MSN, phone-calls, or writing a great email. Although you need to practice being a master in-life socializing too. I used to say Hi to people at the bus stop, or while waiting in line at the bank, to find three things about those people. You can't go wrong because your probably NEVER going to see them again - and even if you do the next day, well, you might have just made a friend. Those kinds of activities, where you talk to strangers, are great confidence boosters!


Trying a different way of communication could mean that you simply change the subject while your having an in-person conversation. The evolution of mankind evolves the change of communication. If something isn't working out - it's time for your evolution :cool:
 
 

 
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