Its a stage of life that must be endured like many others. Watching the grim reaper approach is much more indulgent.

Any? Haha. Desperation is so unappealing.

Oh well.

I guess I am trying to be in a relationship. People say I'm young, and I have plenty of time, and they are correct. And at this time, I am truly not desperate to be in a relationship.

I do not wonder even why am I not in a relationship. But I do always fantasise about being in a relationship, so I guess my brain is telling me to be in one.

What should I do? Your answers might not help me, but could be of help to others, or not, but it's just interesting to talk about basic and raw instincts sometimes, but in a philosophical twist.

What you should do are things that you enjoy doing that may allow you to meet other people. That way, you will meet people who are likely to have at least one interest in common with you. And when you meet other people, try to befriend them rather than date them. And do not be overly shy, but do not be pushy either. If you befriend someone who might be suitable, over time, you can suggest doing more and more things that are date-like, and if the person is interested in you romantically, he or she might indicate this to you. Or you might choose to indicate such an interest yourself, after getting to know the person. Do not rush this process; telling someone you just met that you love them is not generally endearing, but is more a sign of insanity and makes sensible people wonder if they are going to have to get the police involved to keep a stalker away.

Of course, if what you really mean is that you just want to have sex with someone, then you should look to someone else for advice on that.

Let's see:

- I usually only do things that I enjoy - these things may or may not allow me other people
- I do befriend people if I like them, and people befriend me as well (because I'm just too good to miss, lol) usually without romantic intentions
- I'm neither shy nor pushy, I'm only confident about myself so there is no need to be shy or pushy or arrogant

Haha, I do everything perfectly. Or so I think. But I do still think of having relationships or sex with imaginary people - ideals in my mind.

There are real people I like, but I never make a move with these people - well the truth is, I perhaps like people who have interests that are different from mine. And I prefer to be asked. Question mark.

Assuming that you are doing everything correctly that you say, there are a few points that are relevant to what I have already stated. First, if you are interested in someone romantically, have you tried the ever increasing date-like activities with him or her? For example, have you had dinner alone with him or her? Second, if you have gotten to know the person very well, have you tried indicating that you are interested in the possibility of a romantic relationship? Third, you wanting someone else to make a move is a dangerous sort of approach. If the person who interests you takes the same approach, you will never indicate anything to each other, and will consequently never get together, even if he or she is very interested. Do you really want to throw away the possibility of a relationship with someone who is too shy to express a romantic interest first? Fourth, why would you be interested in someone who does not like at least some of the same things that you like? Do you seriously expect to have a long-term relationship with someone with whom you have nothing in common?

Perhaps I just haven't met the right person yet.

Perhaps you haven't met yourself yet?
Or properly been introduced?

What do you mean?

Okay, so I've heard all this rubbish telling people to know and love themselves before you can love other people.

TRUST ME, I have loved and known myself since I existed.

You seem to have a pessimistic view.

The more absorbed you become in the quest to find a relationship, the less likely you will be to find one, or find one that doesn't last.

Women find it attractive when a man is hard working and has some direction in his life. This is more tangible than hidden unrealized talent or hidden unrealized genius. I also think its best to not talk about how stupid or ridiculous various other people are because that is just a variation on the hidden talent, hidden genius, I'm so much more special than other people theme. If you want to get a date you're going to have to talk to women in a way that makes you look attractive to her and yet not conceited. You need to be able to talk to her about yourself in a way that doesn't seem conceited and yet still demonstrates attractive qualities. If you have something that you are working hard on then you can talk about that. If you have a fairly clear idea of what sort of career you want to go into you can tell her about how you are working towards that. Telling her about how you are working toward some goal is of course much preferable than telling her about some goal you have that you haven't really taken any steps towards achieving. Now these are the type of things that you can talk about while you are still at the friend level of the conversation and yet you are still talking yourself up a little and telling her what you are about. Perhaps that friend level conversation goes on for quite a while before you actually ask her out or maybe not so long. If she seems into it then it will be a lot easier to pop the date question. Chances to strike up conversations will arise here and there especially in a college setting. The trick is to be already working hard on something in your single life so when those opportunities occur you'll be able to make the good impression. Good luck!

On what basis?

(Sh.. on the stu 16 char rule.)

---------- Post added 04-27-2010 at 04:48 PM ----------


I'm not looking for women, unfortunately.

On what basis?

(Sh.. on the stu 16 char rule.)

---------- Post added 04-27-2010 at 04:48 PM ----------


I'm not looking for women, unfortunately.

The more absorbed you become in the quest to find a relationship, the less likely you will be to find one, or find one that doesn't last.

I dont think it is the absorption of looking it is the absorption of what you find or what finds you that scares people off.
Wrings you out.

When are people going to understand anticipation is actually a wonderful thing.
Not consumption.

I suppose it is about expectation that lets both sides down.
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I'm terrible i get a little interest and i'm imagining writing books of poetry together, scaling mountains, killing gods and creating new worlds.
What is worse is i have always fallen in love with the unobtainable unscalable.
I think this is either because i know i am better off alone because we would destroy each other or what will be made if i am ever LUCKY enough would actually give me peace and actually make me happy and possibly inert.

I am more afriad of happiness than i am of destruction.

Love is love no matter the equipment, it will complete you or destroy you.

I dont look for sex that i can take care of myself,
I look for love that which will take care of me.
Eyes wide shut.
Waiting to be
seen to be believed.

I suppose this is getting a bit psychological rather than philosophical.

Anticipation is a wonderful thing, and we actually all know that because we all do it.

But then, there will be times, that we realise - wait - all I do is anticipate, with no real results...

I guess you never know when something (in this case, true love/relationship) will happen until it happens like with many other substantial and important things.

I sometimes watch the stars. Other Times I play Tarot or SPinx.