@Didymos Thomas,
I've had an aversion to growing old since I was about eight. When I was seven or eight I experienced my first real fear of death. I don't know why, it was a while before anyone important to me had died, but it just hit me, the fear of the unknown. This volleyed into an interest in astronomy and imponderables, for instance I remember very distinctly being ten or eleven and thinking for long periods of time about the concept of infinity. One thing that always bugged me as a kid was the concept of space or time being in anyway limited, that is; the concept of not living in a continuum, but I digress.
Now I am nineteen, I am a mathematics major at my university and I will be taking my first graduate course next semester. My thoughts are often focused on mathematics, as it is a passion of mine, but I have doubts about how much I would actually like an academic position.
The most overwhelming aspect of my life at this point is an underlying felling of uncertainty, the question of whether I am pursuing the correct path.
The second most overwhelming aspect of my life is the realization that my life will likely be quite different in a few short years. The good friends that I have made in college will be elsewhere, and I will be need to meet a new level of responsibility as a fairly independent human being.
It seems like what would make me happiest is to live, in a sense, a bachelors life, study on my own/work, hang out with friends, smoke and drink on occasion, and enjoy life.
I am very much unsure of the merits of the sort of life successful adults are expected to live. I wouldn't trust the adults in my suburb as far as I could throw them. Everyone in the 'adult world' seems to be expected to be driven to 'succeed' in the least fulfilling manner imaginable.
So I would say that in some ways I am an adult. I feel that I am more emotionally mature that many of the adults I have met. I believe that I am more rational than many adults I have met. I also, however, believe that I have some inexorable immaturity in me, and I am happy that I do.