Total rent is 850. So that's 425 each. Heat (electric) will be about 80-100 each in the winter. The place is 5-10 minutes walking distance of town and campus. She is into school (like me), understands the importance of communication (esp in living situations). She also has other attributes that I value in a person. I don't know her well yet, but I think we will get along and I am looking forward to possibly making a friend (i am lonely!).

There's nothing I will need to bring to the house besides myself.

I think I can deal with paying about 525 a month for a great place. That's what I pay for where I live now, and I can't stand the kids.

And it's only going to be for 4 months.

So if I propose paying say 410 and 440, and she says: No, I'm not comfortable with that. My last roommate and I split the rent. You agreed on 425.
Then I might have created an uncomfortable gap for no (really good) reason.

Since it isn't a lot of money, you could see if she would supply certain things that everyone at the apartment uses--toilet paper, soap, case of beer, etc. It worked wonderfully for a couple of roommates and I in the past.

Lets see how long this relationship lasts.

I'll let you know

Don't be dissappointed when this potentially great relationship turns to squat. Either she's inconsiderate or dumb as a brick when it comes to finances. Either way, populating as a roommate is not her strong point. She sounds like a 'parasite', as described before, to me. Parasites are not good, regardless of whether or not you've been one in the past. I've been an ******* a billion times. Being an ******* is not good..

I'm not saying to confront her. It's too late. I would be looking for another roommate though, before she really socked it to you.

Pessimist, realist, whatever you think that sounds like... take it for what it's worth.

I disagree with the above post and Pangloss's posts as well. Teacup just explained what she pays and how it's split up and that's it's not any more than what she's currently paying.. besides, she has to deal with kids.



What is there to be disappointed about the relationship? She wasn't inconsiderate or dumb as a brick, she was there first therefore she's taking the bigger room. Cut and dry, nothing to get mad at her for and nothing to fret about.



Wow, I'm amazed at how we can judge someone so quickly with so little information. She's gone from a college student that's splitting rent to a no good parasite??? Sorry, I don't get it.


Now why would you advise here to look for another roommate? She likes the girl she's moving in with and it's the same amount of rent and there are no kids, besides all she has to bring is herself. Is Teacup's time of no value? Now I could be badly mistaking but why would it be wise for Teacup to spend her time looking for another roommate.. For only 4 months at that? Is her time and energy of no value? Where do we draw the line?

Splitting rent is splitting rent. Someone has to take the larger room and usually it's the finder of the place. Oh well. That's the way it goes. It's when the value of this becomes an issue that makes all difference. I would hope that someday we can rise to a much higher level than to give such value to square footage in such a way it has enough moment to turn someone into ... ANYTHING, no less a parasite.


LOL. Teacup, when you see advice like the above coming your direction... run the opposite direction. This was more than pessimistic in my opinion. This is just bad advice and taking a very good situation and turning it into not only ill feelings and fear but also a potentially negative situation for both these girls. The above is simply negative advice which will produce negative results. If that's what we're after then it's spot on. Turn on the news and you can see the results of such a mentality.

Geesh, this has turned into quite the thread. Ask a simple question in a philosophy forum and look what it becomes. LOL.

As for the rest of the advice, can I be so bold to ask that we try to offer advice that produces a win win situation for everyone involved.

My posts were made before she presented the whole story...if the rent were higher, and the lease were for a year (this is what I assumed), then it would be different. The difference over 4 months though seems like a good deal, considering the roommate already setup the kitchen.

You made me do it Pangloss... With all due respect and in good spirits... here we go.


From one philosopher to another, is she being taken advantage of? Do we know for certain that she is being taken advantage of? What role does our perception of the situation play? My point is, if Teacup were to plant this thought in her mind that she is being taken advantage of, wouldn't that perception of it change her response and thoughts on it and when analyzed and taken apart and put back together again, it's she that would be taking advantage of herself by letting that very thought have a voice. Essentially a seed being planted that will produce something.



Again, this message sends a signal. We have ifs and an assumption that she is getting screwed. If Teacup, did in fact believe this or give any weight to this, she would naturally begin to look at the situation differently. She'd think to herself after reading this, "Hmmm..., maybe I am getting screwed?!". Looking at the situation closer, she could find all kinds of ways where she may be getting screwed to the point where she may say, "Maybe Pangloss is right, I have to stand up for myself... maybe I should confront her.". My point is, looking at it differently will change Teacup's perception of the situation which will ultimately alter or change her actions or reactions to it... which is in essence is her own reflection.

Can we see that the only person that would be doing the screwing of herself is herself. Teacup would be screwing her own self or elevating her own self in exact proportion and balance with her thoughts. We've all heard before that, "We are our own worst enemy".

Perception of anything changes it's reflection. Reflection being the effect, not the cause. If Teacup sees that this new roommate is putting the screws to her, teacup is seeing the reflection of her perception.



Again, let's look at this. If Teacup embraces this perception that not only is she getting screwed, but now she's needlessly overpaying and offering charity to her once, split-the-rent-roommate. This very notion, if believed changes perception or sends a signal that echoes back. She isn't giving charity and she certainly isn't needlessly over paying.... Unless, she believes she is. The of course she'll go on to create yet another web of whatever.

The reason I think this is bad advice offered is because if believed upon, it will either help or hurt the situation. It will be either a positive experience for Teacup or a negative one and that is completely controlled by her. The effect is under her complete control and will be that which she makes it.



Again, are they gaining at your expense? Do we know beyond any reasonable doubt that they are gaining at our expense? How much thought should we give that notion?

Charity mentioned again and a perception that there is better people to give money to than to a "college students who are living in a nice apartment and are going to graduate with a good degree in a few years...". Yeah... so what's your point?

Either way, you offer one way of looking at it. A way I disagree with but that's what makes us unique. I believe there are many people who tend to takes something very small and very meaningless and roll into something that can have a negative effect on a whole lot. Turning the other cheek, as hard as it may seem to do is most often times the highest road one can take.



No. NOT... Nodda. Totally disagree here. :nonooo: LOL. We need to look out for ourselves and our property? This is your reality? Actually, if you perceive it to be, then this will become. Look at our world. This very world is a world filled with people who have for a lifetime placed value in property and money. We're talking to a world that worships and idolizes themselves and their property... Look at what this type perception has created. There are people everyday who kill to protect property. Mankind places more value on property than he does his own thought or spirit. Why do you think humanity is falling now?... We expected it! Then we created it! Now we have to shift from dog eat dog world to dog work with and dog love dog world.

The parasitic friendships? Where are you seeing these? Myself, I've not encountered them but then again, I come from a different perception therefore my experience will be different. Maybe we could look at this from a variety of paradigms and look at how they can change the effect.



It was never up for discussion. Teacup agreed to split the rent and it was a good deal in comparison right from the beginning and she knows it. Teacup agreed on the terms and made a deal. It certainly struck up a big discussion in the forum which is good philosophical discussion, but in the end, Teacup made a commitment to split the rent. She can either focus on the negatives or build positively into the future, that's up to her.



To me, the above doesn't make any sense. The value of our relationships are the value in that which we give them. The only one taking advantage of anyone would be Teacup by embracing this thought. Teacup isn't being taken advantage of at all because she committed to splitting the rent.

I have the most perfect and the only real fair solution to all this. The must get someone to come in, preferably a contractor, and take out a wall in Teacups room and expand it to make the rooms similar in size. That would actually cost more than it's worth.... give it not another thought.



Again, what's fraudulent about the relationship? The only fraud is this relationship is that thought should Teacup accept it's vibration and allow that thought seed to grow and produce fruit.

In Summary, whether we know all the facts or we don't, Teacup is faced with a decision... very minor if you ask me, but a decision non-the-less. Her perception of this very event and the energy or vibrations of thoughts she receives from others will ring within and can have an effect in various situations and throughout her entire life.

It's important to take the responsibility over how a person perceives various situations and come from a position where it will produce and positive, win win, possibly uplifting and rewarding effect. As we give value to properties and moneys we devalue ourselves and our brothers and sisters in almost exact proportion, thus making it easy to kill.

My response was not to offend anyone, just some thoughts that I had when I read this post. Nobody is looking at it wrong, we all look at things differently and the above is how I see it and thus felt inclined to express it. :perplexed:

Peace Pangloss and balhallah!

Well Justin, in my experience, it is important not to spend extra money when you do not have to. It's basic business sense to not pay more than the market clearing price.

Now I already said that my statements were made before I had all the facts. Obviously, since I do not have direct communication with teacup, I was just working with what she originally told us. If, say the lease was for one year's time, and the rent was $1000/month, I would probably still stand by everything I said. I don't see anything wrong with looking out for yourself; there are many people out there who are looking to take advantage of others. Nothing wrong with making sure you don't get taken advantage of, and I didn't want teacup to be taken advantage of either. Now that I have all the info, I don't think it's a cause for concern. She asked the question, I gave my opinion based on my limited knowledge on the matter.

This is all aside from the point though; once I had all of the information, my assessment of the matter changed. Is there something wrong with this? :perplexed: I get the feeling that, now that the facts are out, this big response is just an "I was right, you were wrong" type deal. Just wondering...

No, it's not an I was right you were wrong. That's not the point at all. I said that even without the facts the advice is something I didn't agree with and explained why. It actually has very little to do with the Teacup scenario because it's going beyond that layer.

You had originally stated that your statements were made before we knew all the facts and that's OK. I explained my original statement of disagreement but I did so regardless of the facts. If you read my response, I've not stated any facts nor would my response be dependent on the knowing of the facts. Facts are simply an effect... If I'm missing the mark, my apologies. You won't be the only to ever disagree.

Pangloss, it may take some time to understand my response but read it again and understand that I was simply disagreeing with the acceptance of certain notions and offering food for deeper thought. Not everyone will understand it and it may take some of us many years to understand it and some of us never will. Not sure I understand it all myself but as we age we become more aware of things that were right in front of us our entire lives but we hadn't seen them.

So, no, this wasn't the I was right and you were wrong type thing as that's not something I give thought to and practice so that was not my intention at all because it really doesn't matter. If I made it sound that way, please forgive me. Truly not my intention.

In the end, we create or manifest our perceptions into our reality. Neither the problems nor the solutions lie in these things we've given value to in the physically manufactured world. If we expect that people are going to screw us, we'll get screwed more often than naught.

Peace!

----- ADDED ----
Hey, on the humor side of things. Teacup could be real creative on write a book on the theory and philosophy of Splitting Rent. Actually, this topic comes up with almost all of at some point in our lives.

---- ADDED -----
Also, didn't mean to get long winded. Sometimes I'll read a post and then start responding and rambling away.

To clear the air a bit, I had already started a post after your second response and had eventually quoted about 4 of your replies and then stepped away from the computer during mid post among about 30 other tabs and screens and webpages open... we'll, I lost it. So when Bal came up, I had to rewrite the response.

I don't place much value in material objects, or in wealth in general. I wish our society could move beyond the idea of measuring people by their wealth and possessions. Until this happens though, this desire of mine does not interfere with my sense of practicality. I truly wish we don't have to worry about money, but we do. :cool:

Yeah but my whole point is that money is not the issue that needs to be worried about. "We do" because that's what we perceive to be correct... we believe we do. Is it really true that we have to believe we need to worry about money? Is money really the issue? :Glasses:

The roommate and I are getting along great.
I ended up bringing up the issue to her in an email. And she explained to me that she HAD told me about the difference in price, the first time I came to look at the place. I had completely forgotten. So I felt like a jerk. Her reasoning is that she had to pay an $850 deposit which I wasn't contributing too. And, she secured the place before I came into the picture.

So, the moral of the story. Communicate your wishes kindly. She understood my concern and we found another way to compromise. Now we are getting along superbly.