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Splitting Rent

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I'm not sure if this is too casual and off topic, but I thought I'd run it by you folks.

I'm a college student and moving in with a new girl next semester. Her room is at least twice the size of mine.

She is expecting we split the bill evenly. I think she should pay a little bit more. But I've already signed the lease, and I really like her and the place, so I'm not sure if it's worth it to argue.

Plus, everything in the house is already there. She's collected furniture for the kitchen and all the necessary kitchen and bathroom supplies. So on one hand, I AM lucky to move into this situation.

But it still doesn't seem fair. What's the mature, ethical thing to do? Would I be out of place to ask to pay less? Is it worth the risk of making things awkward?

@teacup,

You always pay more for more space; in this case, if you split the bill 50/50, you will be paying for your roommate's upgraded floorplan. She gets a discount at your expense. Make her pay more.

@Pangloss,

Sounds like she should pay more, given the size of her room.

Mostly, though, this sounds like one of those gray area decisions. Is it worth arguing over? I can't say, nor can anyone else here. Is it fair to split the bill 50/50? I can't say, nor can anyone else here. These are judgments about which you know infinitely more than any of us.

From what I can tell, she should pay more. I'd bring it up. Though, I'd also consider that she has contributed a great deal to the apartment. Maybe suggest 60/40?

Good luck, whatever happens. Just remember, college is a time for fun. For living. For meeting new people and enjoying their presence. Stand up for yourself, but don't risk the good things.

The ethical thing to do is to not make an issue out of money.

@teacup,

"Say what you know to be true, do what you know to be right, and leave, with faith and patience, the consequences to God." -F. W. Robertson

@teacup,

I am not sure whether the difference between 50/50 and 60/40 (or whatever) is worth making an issue about, especially since you have signed the lease and she has made the extra contribution of some furniture. Such matters should have been clarified up front.

@teacup,

Honestly, I wouldn't argue. She has provided the furniture as well as several other contirbutions from what I can tell. In all honesty, it is probably worth the extra so you don't have to worry about those little things which can be a big hassle later. Besides, it is not your stuff getting messed up during parties. Let her save some money in case she needs to replace something.

I've had a few room mates and I have always been the one to pay majority rent ANd provide the furniture which always seems to get ruined by other people that they invite over. On one hand, your room may be smaller, but on the other, there is a lot more to consider than just space. In all honesty, were it you, would you want to pay extra if you provided furniture?

@teacup,

Based on what you've said above, I wouldn't even mention it to her. It looks like she has most everything needed if she's not already living in the place.

One thing, you need not compare your space to hers. You decided to split the rent and make this person a roommate because you thought it to be a good move and above you said, "So on one hand, I AM lucky to move into this situation.". All things considered, if you feel you are lucky to move into that situation, it makes no difference at all whether her room is smaller or larger than yours and thus, you should not compare it.

As a rule of thumb, I would recommend never comparing what you have with what someone else has because it doesn't matter. If you do, your perception of the situation will be altered by and what was once, 'a good deal' would be perceived as not such a good deal and eventually create difficulty down the road. It's has nothing to do with being fair as the only one you have to be fair with is yourself. Share the rent and be happy!

@teacup,

You guys are all being too nice; there's a time to turn the other cheek, but you also don't want to be taken advantage of.

Here is the real issue:

teacup;37455 wrote:

Her room is at least twice the size of mine.

Ok, so maybe she provided some cheap college furnishing (that might have run her a few hundred dollars tops, probably much less if it's just the kitchen stuff). For the span of the lease though, if your room is actually twice the size of yours, you are seriously getting screwed paying 50/50. You need to have a discussion about this, stand up for yourself.

@teacup,

I think by mentioning that you should pay less you open Pandora's Box. So what happens if she figures out you use twice the electricity or water? Seriously though, unless you are talking about substantial money, is it worth it? There are also other ways to solve the issue. Are there other perks (parking etc.)? I know one place I lived at had a similar situation and the person with the largest room was to supply toilet paper as a compromise.

@teacup,

If you've signed the lease, it's too late.

Make your financial arrangements before you sign contracts and not after. She might not have been willing to go in at 60%.

@Aedes,

Thank you everyone!

So at first I was definitely leaning towards not bringing it up. I like her and don't want to make an issue over money (I'd rather have a friend than money).

But also, her room is a converted living room. Mine is a hole in the wall off the kitchen... And honestly there isn't really furniture. Basically a table and book case that she found somewhere.

But in the end, I'm not going to say anything. I will count it as good karma. I'm being generous and peaceful.

And, I've learned a lesson. Discuss these matters in the beginning.

@teacup,

Just realize that you are working in order to give your roommate charity...that's what happens when you needlessly overpay.

@Pangloss,

Oh no, charity! Run away, run away!

@Didymos Thomas,

Didymos Thomas;37611 wrote:

Oh no, charity! Run away, run away!

Yea, from one college student to another...that's not good charity. If it's from, say a Bill Gates to an African village, then great. If you are the average Joe who works hard for a living, you don't overpay, it's that simple. Money is what you get for selling your life's time away, don't take it lightly...

@Pangloss,

Pangloss wrote:

You guys are all being too nice; there's a time to turn the other cheek, but you also don't want to be taken advantage of.

Here is the real issue:

Ok, so maybe she provided some cheap college furnishing (that might have run her a few hundred dollars tops, probably much less if it's just the kitchen stuff). For the span of the lease though, if your room is actually twice the size of yours, you are seriously getting screwed paying 50/50. You need to have a discussion about this, stand up for yourself.

Pangloss, you are right. It is unfair, but it is after the fact. For what ever reason the agreement was amicably agreed to. These two people have to live in peace together and to come in at this time, unless the poster is reasonably skill with tact and diplomacy, to offer a protest could disrupt that peace and have a detrimental affect. Perhaps in the course of their relationship depending on how well they get along with each other a time may come when this subject might be approached. She has noted how much she likes this girl and how she values the relationship, which I will have to agree is the important issue. If the poster is truly being taken advantage of it will not be the rent issue that separates them. IMO

william

@William,

William;37616 wrote:

It is unfair, but it is after the fact. For what ever reason the agreement was amicably agreed to. These two people have to live in peace together and to come in at this time, unless the poster is reasonably skill with tact and diplomacy, to offer a protest could disrupt that peace and have a detrimental affect. Perhaps in the course of their relationship depending on how well they get along with each other a time may come when this subject might be approached. She has noted how much she likes this girl and how she values the relationship, which I will have to agree is the important issue. If the poster is truly being taken advantage of it will not be the rent issue that separates them.

Well, unless the lease stipulates in writing what percent each tenant is going to pay of the rent, then it's still up for discussion as to the share each should pay.

Someone whose relationship you value would not take advantage of you. This is what's taking place here. It sounds like she is paying half the total rent for what basically amounts to living in a guest bedroom (if that, "hole in the wall"). The roommate must be aware of this discrepancy, and I personally wouldn't value such a fraudulent relationship. (this is what I'm getting from the description, of course none of us have all the facts)

@teacup,

Teacup, if you don't mind me asking, how much rent are we talking about?
William

@William,

I'm a college student as well, Pangloss. I'm not sure that charitable acts are tantamount to taking money lightly. Seems to me that charitable acts are using money rightly.

@Didymos Thomas,

Didymos Thomas;37622 wrote:

I'm a college student as well, Pangloss. I'm not sure that charitable acts are tantamount to taking money lightly. Seems to me that charitable acts are using money rightly.

When you purchase something above the market price, someone is gaining at your expense. Certainly if a college student wishes to give what little money they have away for charity, there are better people to give it to than those other college students who are living in a nice apartment and are going to graduate with a good degree in a few years...

It's nice reading here about how money is not important, or how we should be more concerned with karma and spirit or whatnot instead. But in reality, we need to look out for ourselves and our property, because people out there are looking to take what we have. I have also seen many parasitic "friendships" go on, where one person gets a "friend", and the other person gets someone to pay the bills...

@Pangloss,

Right, we should only worry about morality in conversation - real life is far too tough for us to be worried about morals, instead we should look after ourselves. [/sarcasm]

Man, I've been on both sides. I've been the "parasite" and host. I've stayed for free (free everything, food, clothes and all) and given others a place to stay. No regret.

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