Why are some nurses so bitchy !!!!!!

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cte79159
 
Reply Sun 20 Jul, 2008 07:55 pm
believe me not all nurses are like that, we are small in numbers, but onced the others figure it out that when they retire or get sick and are on the other side of the bed they will lighten up. Hang in there...prayer works.
 
Alx B
 
Reply Wed 23 Jul, 2008 04:11 am
@melbourneborn
That really is a terrible story! As you say it's hard to understand how people who've choosen to go into a caring profession could be so childish and mean-spirited!
Try to not let the idiots get to you! If they're not talking to you on a social level is it really a great loss? If they're being so unprofessional as to ignore you in relation to work stuff then surely it's time to talk to your line manager, their pettiness shouldn't be allowed to impact either on your training, or on the welfare of patients!
 
ntalon
 
Reply Wed 6 Aug, 2008 10:45 am
Bitchy Nurses
Hi everyone! Very Happy I stumbled across this forum when I Googled, "bitchy nurses". I too thought I was alone. I read every comment and felt every one's pain. I too was the victim of nurse on nurse harassment and when you address the issue to higher ups...they just don't care. Why? Because it has been an on going problem and it has become the norm in the nursing field. And if anyone tells you different, they are not being honest.
I will be adding my story in the near future. Wait until you read this! It takes the cake.
 
harrietgate
 
Reply Wed 8 Oct, 2008 02:24 pm
I believe it all
I am recently retired and began volunteering in the emergency room of the local hospital.

I very much enjoy helping the patients and keeping families informed about those who have been brought in by ambulance.

I notice that the young newly graduated nurses are pleasant and helpful. And then there are some of the others! Talk about hard, mean and miserable. They basically ignore you as much as possible.

Because many nurses in Canada are coming up to retirement age, more new grads will be hired in future. That infusion of young, well-educated and idealistic nurses is sorely needed. Of course a great deal of the nastiness stems from the fact that these new nurses present a THREAT!

To those who feel discouraged, please don't quit. Your patients need you!

Since I am a volunteer. I do not have to do this. But I want to advocate for those patients, and I refuse to be put off!!
 
DreamAndProsper
 
Reply Sun 19 Oct, 2008 10:12 pm
Not all nurses are bitchy
I encourage you to bless those around you with a smile and understanding. Remember that not all people deal with stress the same way you might. However, it is not appropriate for anyone to disrespect another person because they are unhappy with their current situation. A person has the right to stay and make the best of life or leave. Do you see the nurses stations full of positive motivating signs or even pictures of their dreams? Stay positive, keep smiling and make a difference. The patients need you!
 
KatieRNWisconsin
 
Reply Wed 5 Nov, 2008 07:08 am
Crabby nurses
First off-keep educated. Then these nurses cannot make you feel a fool because of your lack of knowledge and experience. Second-rise above the gossip. It doesn't pertain to you and you do not need to become involved. If someone tried to include you-be very noncommital and they may get the hint. If not, bluntly tell them you're not interested. Third, grow a spine. If you know that someone is messing with you because you're new or they're bitter-become a quick wit and tell them (in so many words) to BACK OFF. I have realized that, over time, this mind set will get you respect. Not every nurse is crappy and bitter and 9x's out of 10-this attitude will get you further in your career. Start to remember why you became a nurse. Not for the friendships with your peers-it's for the patients. Now, I have no experience in OR and it's because I feel you are quite removed when you join that field but from personal experience-if I make a pt's day better with my attitude and diligence, it's way more rewarding then becoming BFF with a fellow nurse
 
vwgirl
 
Reply Wed 24 Dec, 2008 10:49 am
Re: Why are some nurses so bitchy !!!!!!
BrownSugar wrote:
I'm a new grad. I currently work in the Operating Room. As a student I came across so many teachers and nurses who were unsupportive and downright mean. Some played dirty and were only interested in making you do everything without helping or guiding and then getting you in trouble for doing something wrong or not as they would.

I have begun my second job as a nurse. I am beginning to slowly realize that this is just the "nursing culture". This is what I was told by my nurse educator. She basically told me put up with it or maybe nursing isn't for me. I'm sick and tired of going to work frightened that today might be the day I get the nurse who likes to eat her young. I'm sick and tired to death of being sick and tired .. of the stress. Its more stressful to deal with nurses than the actual job itself. I'm sick and tired of listening to nurses bitch and complain and gossip about each other and other staff memebers instead of trying to help. I'm sick and tired of HATING A JOB THAT I COULD REALLY LOVE IF EVERYONE JUST FUKKIN LEFT ME ALONE AND HELPED ME AND ENCOURAGED ME AND IF I COULD JUST FEEL SAFE AROUND THEM.

What is it with nurses anyways? Why is it that surgeons .. doctors will stand by each other even when they hate each other and bicker behind closed doors and nurses air out all their dirty laundry and are rude to each other so everyone else thinks you're fair game too. Its not just me. Its so many people.

I love nursing. Honestly I love my job when all that other BS isn't involved. There are days that could be wonderful if everyone just worked together as a team and were able to trust each other instead of looking for the next scape goat.

What is this chip on their shoulders. I'm currently considering other career options. I don't want to work for another 20 or 30 years and end up like these old nurses that are bitches to everyone. I see nurses who have only been there a year who have become like this. I think its borderline harassment. Thats what everyone else says. I made the decision to think of other career options when I started realizing that all the good people who were supportive and helpful were in the same boat as me. I'm sorry I don't want my job to turn me into a mean bitch who eats her young.

I am looking for some sort of insight here. Honesty would be appreciated. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you all.


OH girl! I am a new graduate from an LPN program on Vancouver Island. I just finished my perceptorship at our local hospital. You are right. A LOT of nurses have negative attitued. Many are burnt out and angry. What I found helped was to find the people who LOVE nursing, and truly are examples of what a nurse should be (they ARE out there). Find those people and make THEM the people you spend your breaks with. Ignore the haters. Also..always remember that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. I had a spare 20 min's at HS last week. I decided to give back rubs to a few hard to settle patients. I had been "told" when I "asked" to do this a few weeks back "don't do that, then they will always expect it". So I didn't ask this time, I just did it. At shift change the RN noted "wow....everyone is really settled in". I just smiled and said "yeah, isn't it great!"
I know it's hard, but you won't be able to change those nurses. All you can do is focus on your patients and remember you are there for THEM. Ingore the haters. Truly. Be a good nurse. They can complain all they want about you. If the patients are well looked after and like you, that's all that matters.
 
JARED2009
 
Reply Tue 30 Dec, 2008 10:41 pm
Some of the nurses don't enjoy their work so that simply can cause them to become bitter over so many things. I've encountered a few of them and have really been concerned with the quality of care they are providing. They have become callous nurses and prefer to sit for most of their time in the nurse's station, chatting about their problems and issues at home.

I had the opportunity to confront some of them but they remain receptive and defense mechanism simply sets in. Rolling Eyes
 
batz39 1
 
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2009 12:12 pm
We're women its our nature to gossip and we have one of the most stressful jobs. If you don't like working with other nurses I suggest you do home health or become a school nurse.
 
kaybru86
 
Reply Sun 28 Jun, 2009 02:21 pm
Brown sugar, can I just tell you how happy I was to read your post. I thought it was just me!! I am an xray tech and I have a lot of interaction with the ER nurses. They are SOOOO unbelieveably MEAN. I dont understand how they can treat people that way! I am also a 2nd year nursing student and I am questioning my ability to be a nurse! I am so nice to everyone and I can also be sensitive. I dont like being bitched at for something I didnt do! But like someone said if we all stick together maybe we can change the atmosphere by keeping a positive attitude! I feel the same way too...I love my job...hate the nurses.
 
carla b
 
Reply Sat 4 Jul, 2009 06:06 pm
why are some nurses so bitchy
Hi all, as a more seasoned (older, ugh!) nurse I can tell you it doesn't get easier. I agree with the writer who said its best to work in an area where you don't have direct contact with other nurses.
I believe they mentioned school nurse or home care. I have found our the hardest way imagineable that even though I was an experienced home care nurse supervisor in NYC when my husband and I decided to relocate to rural Maine the nurses were incredibly cruel.
I am returning to school nursing in the fall & can't tell you how grateful I am to regain my old job.
Like a couple of stupid kids, my husband & I decided to reloate to rural maine-2nd marriage for both of us, kid grown, etc. He's a little older than me so we cashed out & figured he could take an early retirement b/c my salary would be enough.
I never realized before (because I had never really been sick) how nurses can be so mean when something bad happens in terms of our health.
Its so weird and I know its not just me after reading some of the posts in this forum.
 
carla b
 
Reply Sun 5 Jul, 2009 08:38 am
why are some nurses so bitchy/
I don't think its all age related but about control & power. I think that some nurses feel resentful about having been subjgated by doctors that they act out their resentments with other nurses and even patients-which is even more f*&ked up. In Maine where I relocated to from NYC the nurse supvr I ended up working for acted like she was Dr Nurse Medicine Woman-for example was sent to see a 90 yo lady with copd, dm, chf, uti's and fall risk. when I called the assist living place to let them know I was coming the mgr there told me her pulse ox was only 84 and she was having difficulty breathing. I advised them to call 911-my supvr told me that I was wrong and should have called her Dr and "tell him to order 120mg of lasix right away & really diurese her" btw lasix was not on her list of meds. when I asked my supvr why she felt I did the wrong thing she said "because we have doctor shortage here". Turns out the patient had pnemonia & was hospitalized for over a month for the infection then discharged to a snf. I later asked my spvr if directing a doctor to prescribe meds wasn't operating out of my scope of practice-I know there are regional differences but I still feel that ultimately if I had done as my supvr directed the patient would have suffered. I appreciate any one who would like to give me feedbac,
 
Tmsmith127
 
Reply Fri 14 Aug, 2009 08:21 am
I'm new to this site but this topic will always be around. After 15 years in nursing in all walks of the profession. I can honestly say that not all nurses "eat their young". I currently work on a large Med/surg floor in the MPLS area and can say that the team work is great. There is always help when its needed. For the most part the only place I can say that I ever had problems with was the ED. Unfortunately as in any job environment it only takes a few bad apples to ruin the lot.

Nursing is a great profession that is more often rewarded with great friendships and camaraderie. When it all heads South one should be able to rely on their co-workers to be there. It saddens me that any new grad would hate their new profession after the hard work it to get there. Fortunately this is a profession with a vast amount of career options. Don't be afraid to leave where your at if your not happy.
 
been there done that
 
Reply Fri 23 Jul, 2010 02:32 pm
Re: why are some nurses so bitchy/
carla b wrote:
I don't think its all age related but about control & power. I think that some nurses feel resentful about having been subjgated by doctors that they act out their resentments with other nurses and even patients-which is even more f*&ked up. In Maine where I relocated to from NYC the nurse supvr I ended up working for acted like she was Dr Nurse Medicine Woman-for example was sent to see a 90 yo lady with copd, dm, chf, uti's and fall risk. when I called the assist living place to let them know I was coming the mgr there told me her pulse ox was only 84 and she was having difficulty breathing. I advised them to call 911-my supvr told me that I was wrong and should have called her Dr and "tell him to order 120mg of lasix right away & really diurese her" btw lasix was not on her list of meds. when I asked my supvr why she felt I did the wrong thing she said "because we have doctor shortage here". Turns out the patient had pnemonia & was hospitalized for over a month for the infection then discharged to a snf. I later asked my spvr if directing a doctor to prescribe meds wasn't operating out of my scope of practice-I know there are regional differences but I still feel that ultimately if I had done as my supvr directed the patient would have suffered. I appreciate any one who would like to give me feedbac,
I have also had to work with nurses in all of my 20-year career as a master's level social worker. I've worked in psych hospitals, home-health, and medical hospitals. My most negative experiences with nurses have been in the psychiatric field, and have to agree that my main impressions of most nurses in that field is that they are what the negatives on this forum have said. And, not being a part of the nursing staff I've found that if one nurse gets it in for you, the whole staff more or less do the same. And, yes, they do eat their young (the nurses I've worked with), and professionals from other fields as well.

The reason? most of us in the "helping field" are attracted to this field because of our childhood experiences in growing up in dysfunctional families and are extremely co-dependent in that we are trying to "fix" someone because we can't go back and "fix" that person in our family of origin that was "broken." So, we find a field in which we can do that, as well as marrying broken people to "fix." This would all be well and good IF we'd worked on our "issues" before entering the "helping" field where we then subsequently get sucked into fights over "territory," "power struggles," "he/she is MY patient, not yours!"...........those kind of struggles. Counselors, at least, have more than just a few hours of psychology and an opportunity to work on their issues (IF they so choose) which helps negate some of the issues I've mentioned above.

There are unprofessional counselors as well as in nursing, but I just haven't found the extreme meanness, vindictiveness, "back-biting" (for want of a better word) that I've seen in the nursing field among the lower credentialed nurses. Nurses with higher levels of education seem to have less problems with this, at least in my past experiences. It's been my experience that it's the LVN's with one year of schooling who don't know enough to realize that they don't know enough.

Nurses I've worked with in the past just seem to have an overly developed sense of being "right" regardless of what they are speaking of (even if they have only a few hours in a subject or none at all), and seem surprised that there are people who have more knowledge than they do. It's dangerous to be a professional working along side a nurse who has limited knowledge: Your choices are (1) to remain silent when you see something they are doing wrong (in the psych field), (2)speak up and make an enemy (but be totally unaware that you have an enemy until the attack behind your back happens). And, because they pull so much weight, you lose, even when you are right. Crying or Very sad

And, they can literally skin you alive if you cross them. BTW, I worked just as long hours as they did. That wasn't the issue at all. It was a personality-thing. The last DON that I worked with was known throughout the unit as being brilliant, but lazy; (she and her 3 friends) flaunting of the rules that everyone else had to follow or get into trouble; got people fired or reprimanded over nothing other than she was displeased with them and would wait to find a molehill to turn into a mountain; ran around town with her friends during work hours, going shopping, taking long lunch breaks, multiple smoking breaks and then complaining of how hard she worked. She knew how to manipulate quite well, including our lesbian administrator who made so many passes at me, I grew sick.

So, yeah, my experience with nurses has been rather spotty, I would say.

I'll wait for brickbats to be thrown at me now. Sad
 
rvet
 
Reply Fri 26 Oct, 2012 08:20 am
@BrownSugar 1,
Hi, it's been 6 years since you wrote this, dunno if you're going to reed this. But I just want to share my opinion. I totally agree with you, im nursing student in Spain, and nurses over here are just how you describe it, im going through the shame shit, I THINK IT'S THE NURSING CULTURE, when i finish my 4 year degree I am not going to work as one, I can't stand them, they make my life a misery, and as i can read they're all the same all around the world, I'd rather work in a supermarker instead of having to stand for all this shit, it's not fair. I never could of imagined there could be such horrible people about, specially so called CARERS. I have worked in many different jobs and never been so unhappy than in nursing.
 
rvet
 
Reply Fri 26 Oct, 2012 08:30 am
@kaybru86,
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE, I'm a student too,I'm studying in Spain, over here it's a 4 year degree. I never could of imagined they were so horrible, if though i wouldn't of started, obviously. I think it's the nursing culture, they're like that. I don't want to be in this for the rest of my life, working with people like this, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THEY HAVE EVEN GOT A TITLE, they're so rude and common, I'd rather work in a supermarket than with nurse bitchiness, and i've actually worked in different sort of jobs but i've never come acroos with so much rudeness, bitchenesss, and even nasty and bad people i would say. You are not the only one. Regards from Spain.
 
rvet
 
Reply Fri 26 Oct, 2012 08:30 am
@kaybru86,
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE, I'm a student too,I'm studying in Spain, over here it's a 4 year degree. I never could of imagined they were so horrible, if though i wouldn't of started, obviously. I think it's the nursing culture, they're like that. I don't want to be in this for the rest of my life, working with people like this, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THEY HAVE EVEN GOT A TITLE, they're so rude and common, I'd rather work in a supermarket than with nurse bitchiness, and i've actually worked in different sort of jobs but i've never come acroos with so much rudeness, bitchenesss, and even nasty and bad people i would say. You are not the only one. Regards from Spain.
 
rvet
 
Reply Fri 26 Oct, 2012 08:48 am
@ntalon,
I'ts the nursing culture, only 2 out of 10 are nice, but nearly all of them are horrible, rude, common, nasty, BAD PEOPLE. I'm a student in Spain, and even though i like taking care of pacients, i'm considering working in another profession because i can't stand nurses, I don't feel and I don't want to be like them, NEVER. They want stupid girls or boys, with a lack of personality so they can polish them into there on way. If you complain they say it's your problem that you don't know how to work in a team and stuff like this. To me they are like a cult, a cult of bitchy, rude and vulgar women. I don't want to be a part of this, so i'm considering other paths in life, even though i am going to finish my 4 year degree. LIFE IS NOT JUST NURSING, if you don't feel happy there are thousands of professions in life. I find this degree a bit of a con, just to give themselves an importance that they don't deserve, I can't believe that they are in charge of taking care of people, scary.... Regards from Spain
 
rvet
 
Reply Fri 26 Oct, 2012 09:30 am
@BrownSugar 1,
I think the same, Nursing is not everything in life, there are thousands of professions, life can be beautiful or awful if you believe you are condemned to nursing, JUST SAY TO YOURSELF: FUCK NURSING AND NURSES, life is too short for all this shit, I sometimes, well most of the time since i've entered nursing : I WANT BACK MY IGNORANCE.Think that you're going to find more happiness than other people after going through this shit called nursing, sometimes to get to heaven we've first have to go through hell, i Know it might sound topic, but it's true, after a bad experience you appreciate life much more, when you let go and get over it. Cheer up, best of luck
 
rvet
 
Reply Fri 26 Oct, 2012 09:46 am
@toni tiger,
I'ts the nursing culture, i'm a student of a 4 year degree in Spain, and they are like that too. I don't want to be part of this CULT OF BITCHY, RUDE AND VULGAR WOMEN, called nursing, i'm going to finish this degree, but i don't want to be part of this shit. I'd rather work in something else, which i have done, other than sharing my professional life with evil people like this. Only 2 out of 10 nurses can be nice, and this isn't a fair balance. God, i thought maybe in other countries it was differente, but they're like this worlwide as far as i can read
 
 

 
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