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Whiners feel helpless and overwhelmed by an unfair world. Their standard is perfection and no one and nothing measures up to it. While some complaining can be therapeutic for the complainer, and some can be helpful to the listener, lots of complaining is simply wallowing. This is the Whiner's specialty. The Whiner's complaints have little to do with stress relief, and are rarely helpful. The Whiner's behavior occurs as a result of their need "to get it right". While they have a sense that things should be different, they have no idea how this should happen. So, instead of taking action, they whine.
Your goal with Whiners is to form a problem-solving alliance, and if this doesn't work, your goal is to make them go away! The best thing that you can do for people who feel helpless when they encounter difficulty is to diminsh their helplessness by working with them to identify solutions.
To work effectively with Whiners (which sounds like some of the behavior your dealing with) requires some specific strategies. Here are some suggestions:
[b]Listen for the main points in their complaints[/b] Listening to a Whiner complain is probably the last thing you want to do. But it is a crucial first step. This proves to the Whiner that you're listening and ensures that you recognize the complaint if the Whiner tries to recycle it.
[b]Interrupt and get specific[/b] Take command of the conversation and ask clarification questions to get to the specifics of the problem. If your Whiner isn't able to be specific, suggest that he or she go out and gather more information.
[b]Shift the focus to solutions[/b] Because Whiners often complain in vague generalizations, they don't usually look at problems long enough to start thinking of solutions. Asking them what they want can get them to start to move their minds in an entirely different direction.
[b]Show them the future[/b] When people feel helpless, it's constructive to give them something to look forward to. Offer to set up a meeting with the person they are complaining about or simply set a time to discuss the problem further. You may find it helpful to suggest that they come to back you with possible solutions within a specific time frame.
[b]Draw the line[/b] If the previous steps haven't produced a real change, it may be necessary to draw the line. If your Whiner begins the complaint cycle again, shut him or her down. Make it clear that talking about problems without solutions isn't a good use of your time . . . or anyone's.
[b]Don't agree or disagree with Whiners[/b] If you agree, it simply encourages them to keep whining; if you disagree they may feel compelled to repeat their problems
[b]Don't try to solve the Whiner's problem[/b] You won't be able to solve their problems; you will need their participation
[b]Don't ask Whiners why they are complaining[/b] They'll simply see this as an opportunity to start over again.
I'm a new grad. I currently work in the Operating Room. As a student I came across so many teachers and nurses who were unsupportive and downright mean.
What is this chip on their shoulders. I'm currently considering other career options. I don't want to work for another 20 or 30 years and end up like these old nurses that are bitches to everyone.
Thank you everyone, especially rnalso. Since I've started working in the OR I've changed. I knew at some point I would snap at work .. I have started being snappy at home and with friends even at times so it was only a matter of time. I've decided the solution is to start working part time .. take courses in ohter areas of nursing while I work there .. because I can't afford to not work. I have experience now I like my job I think its intersting .. I love getting scrubbed and getting up close to see whats going on. I think the stress is getting to me though.
Why does management not do anything about these people .. discipline them or whatever. I am now going to be labelled a trouble maker. Thats great. I hope I will get a good reference when I apply for other casual positions now to supplement my part time one. I never thought I could be this unhappy working as a nurse. Why are they becoming like this its like if you can't beat us join us .. I find younger nurses starting to imitate some of these older rude nurses. Oh well I appreciate your comments .. I'm 29 btw.