Backstabbing

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Wildflower63 1
 
Reply Mon 18 Jul, 2005 11:13 am
Hmmm. I haven't seen that ring. If I did, I'm sure that I didn't think anything of it. Now I have some new jewelry to shop for! lol! Awaiting further instruction.....
 
sdrn
 
Reply Sat 23 Jul, 2005 03:54 pm
The biggest obstacle I have discovered in nursing is the hateful backbiting & clicks amongst many nurses. Although there are many wonderful nurses out there (latch onto one as a new grad), there are many who are not. As unfortunate as it is, many nurses DO EAT THEIR YOUNG! especially if you are kind and reserved or if you go into an ICU area. I have learned to not respect those nurses and move on. I cannot believe how some nurses have spoken to me!!!

Seems to me these nurses, many of whom are highly experienced and knowledgeable, could use their time and energy more wisely by sharing their knowledge and nurturing new grads to become excellent nurses. Instead, they would rather see them writhe and squirm and fail!!

I agree with many of you who said what a great career it would be without this element!!!! I really do not quite understand it. Nurses are suppose to be intelligent and in nursing because they have a caring spirit.

The nurses that are in the thick of backbiting are scary, because they can turn things around and be stabbing YOU (miss nice nurse) without your even knowing it. You will find out when you are fired. Being fired as an RN is not GOOD!!! Look out if you are not in "the click."

Unfortunately, the only way this will stop is if charge nurses and managers put their foot down and fire each nurse who is perpetrating bad behavior. They never will because many of them are involved in it themselves and backbiters are so good even the managers/charge nurses do not know when they are telling a lie. My experience has been that backbiting nurses are usually strong nurses. They are either charge nurses or managers or individuals whom the charges and managers look up to, because they exude confidence and seem to excel in their abilities. It's a smokescreen!! They make as many mistakes as the rest of us relative to years of experience. They just cover theirs up (scary, huh?) and bully those around them so no one will ever come after them.
 
Justanurse
 
Reply Sat 10 Sep, 2005 07:15 pm
There are backstabbers EVERYWHERE! No matter what job or what position you hold. I have yet to work a job where there was not a backstabber some are just not as open as others. I would advise you if you like your job to see if maybe you could work days she wasnt working. And of course say as little to her as possible. Keep your distance
 
Wildflower63 1
 
Reply Mon 12 Sep, 2005 02:31 am
Standing ovation for SDRN's post! It's not the job you hate, it's your backstabbing co-workers that make life even harder than it has to be. It has always made me re-think my decision to be a nurse. I thought they were kind people. They aren't. Anyone saying different is very new at nursing, working in a sheltered environment, or one of those that acts so innocent while doing damage to others.
 
rascal
 
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2005 06:45 pm
i am surprised that such caring, loving people would behave this way.
is there something we can do to help these backstabbers "see the light"?
is the competition that strenous between the ranks?
seems to me, this stuff would take some focus off helping the patients getting better. in a perfect nursing world, we could be united and work focused on what benefits the patient. and do whatever we can to help the other nursing staff to succeed, for the benefit of the patients.
is there something we can do to become more united and solve those issues that distract us from our valueable work?
(im still in school yet. not working yet in the hospital)
rascal
 
sensuous
 
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2005 08:38 pm
I hate politics when it comes to work!!!!!!!! Especially in the nursing field.
 
nursemadduck
 
Reply Mon 3 Oct, 2005 11:56 am
Backstabbers at work
Rolling Eyes Yes my dear they are everywhere. I have a simular problem.
but even if it gets me down and it does at times. I am determined to stay and put up a good fight. Although lately I have been just on the brink of leaving. Laughing
I agree with each and every post on this subject. No matter where you go there will someone who will stab someone in the back and if you are very lucky it will not be you.
Hang in there if you can, fight a good fight, and remember why you are there. Always let the patient come first.
But if you feel you must leave do it quick before you do get hurt.
Good luck
Razz
 
wexarexfamily
 
Reply Sat 8 Oct, 2005 07:49 pm
dnomura wrote:
Evil or Very Mad I have always contended that the only drawback to nursing is the fact that you have to work with women, and women are the worst to work with.

I didnt find this to be true. I left nursing and went to work in a factory full of men for 25 years. I returned to nursing and find that immaturity is the cause of "backstabbing". Make a point to make eye contact and strike up some sort of civil working relationship with all of your coworkers. Dont let these things fester. Talk to your manager early on because they are the ones that will ultimately decide the outcome.
 
nursemadduck
 
Reply Mon 10 Oct, 2005 08:09 am
Backstabbing.
Quote:
Make a point to make eye contact and strike up some sort of civil working relationship with all of your coworkers. Dont let these things fester. Talk to your manager early on because they are the ones that will ultimately decide the outcome.


You are correct about looking them in the eye. Also I should have mentioned going to your nurse manager. Laughing
I did try and am still trying to make work as civial as possiable by ignoring their bad behaviour. Rolling Eyes
I have gone to my nurse manager and he has talked with the parties in question but they persist in their endevors to make me miserable. Sad
But I don't give up easy. :wink: I have been there about 6 months. And if things get to bad I can and will switch to another unit and see how it goes there.
Razz I have worked at other hospitals such as Pecos, TX in Reeves County Hospital. I worked Med/Surg, rode the ambulance with the RN for transfers. In Monhans, TX I worked at Ward Memorial Hospital. I worked Med/Surg, L&D, Nursery, and the ED. When supervised by an RN I was alowed to work in ICU.
Smile I have worked other units in this hospital Rehab. for 3 years and I went to Skilled Nursing to learn somthing new. I was on Skilled Nursing for about 3 years. 8) While there I did have the opurtunity to become relief charge nurse.
Now I am on Ortho/Neuro because I want to learn somthing new. I don't know how long I will work there. But until I feel the need to experience something new I will do my best for each new patient. But I am trying to learn all I can in my careree in nursing. And if a move becomes necessary I will move.
I just want to stay focused and not have someone try to stab me in the back or thinK I want what is righfuly theirs because I don't.
 
vtd9394
 
Reply Mon 17 Oct, 2005 06:55 am
Re: Backstqabber
I hope things get better for you, hang in there.
 
nursenana
 
Reply Sat 29 Oct, 2005 05:06 pm
Very Happy Hi, I'm new to this forum and to nursing. I graduated in July and took my State Boards in September. Any good advice for a new LPN. Very Happy
 
DonateLife
 
Reply Sat 5 Nov, 2005 04:49 am
"Can't we all just get along?" - Rodney King
This is an amazing discussion!???! Shocked

"I have always contended that the only drawback to nursing is the fact that you have to work with women, and women are the worst to work with." - dnomura (02-25-05)

"Even the men do it..." - rottmommie (02-25-05)

... "My first job my manager told me that working with women consisted of the 3B's ----------BITCHING, BICKERING, BACKBITING." -nursePARKHOUSE (02-26-05)

neznu - multiple posts that I think are tongue-in-cheek? (I can only hope so!) regarding "Nursing Mafia"

"We are all intelligent women..." Wildflower (07-12-05)

... "The men were twice as bad as the professional women because most of the men were insecure and incompetent." - JJ (05-03-05)

and on and on and so forth, ad nauseum! Prejudice? Sexual Bias? In the real world these comments will get you and your company sued for liable or sexual harassment, not to mention that these attitudes might be reason that "they are out to get you!"

Very Happy Also note the tone of those offended, they are the hard-working cooperative, caring professionals who are "willing to work together" and "practice with integrity"; who go to their manager and co-workers to tell the "absolute truth" regarding the "backstabbers."

Had the "backstabber faced them directly they would have been aggressive, confrontational, manipultive and "cliquish."

Twisted Evil Yet when that person goes to the manager discuss them, they are incompetent, scary, cruel, hurtful, insecure, controlling, unkind catty, disrespectful, lying gossips who are just trying to climb the ladder over your body.

Idea We all make mistakes, but if it was enough to get you fired you might want to take a long hard look in the mirror and see if you might in reality have at least an inkling of responsibilty yourself.
 
Neznu
 
Reply Sat 19 Nov, 2005 08:28 pm
DonateLife,
Thanks for the snaps!!
Yes I really do belong to the Family.....something like the ya-ya sisterhood...hey but don't let that scare ya away....we gather round the cheminara and well, you figure out the rest......
All these posts about co-workers backstabbing and Drs with rude behavior don't get me down....b/c theres no rain drops falling on my head....ask your problem child out for a beer....walk a mile in their shoes.....
You never can get enough of what cha don't want...ooooommm
 
travelingtonirn
 
Reply Mon 28 Nov, 2005 06:41 pm
hello everyone!!
I'm fairly new here!! I definitely agree that we women are the worst to work with!! Shocked Anyway I worked at a hospital for four years where backstabbing was the way you climbed up the ladder!!! Needless to say I was the lowest on the totem pole Sad Sorry that is just not my way of working!! Sooooo I decided to travel and do agency work! You go to work, take care of the most important reason your there "THE PATIENTS!!" then you go home!! You can make friends if you want, if you don't you don't, no sweat off your back!! Well just my opinion!! God Bless You All!! The backstabbers will get theirs someday don't worry!! Very Happy
 
rascal
 
Reply Sat 10 Dec, 2005 11:07 am
i had a female person who used to backstab me...while i was building ambulences. i was working in a production line with all men (except for 5 females-bad ratio,huh? 1 stabber among 5 women). And for 2 years, i would go out of my way to speak to her. How are you doing today.....(her name). I killed her with kindness and cheerfulness. She would huff and puff off and wouldnt say a word. just say it behind my back. I treated it as a project. I tested it just to see how long kindness would take to turn her around. and one day, she came into the bathroom, when no one else was around, and i didnt see her come in. She spoke to me. hello. how are you doing today. and you could tell it was geniune.
as far as the men. I worked building ambulences for 7 years. (and now studying to be the nurse !!) And the men gossip worse than the women , I think. And believe me, if they think it would get them anywhere to kiss up to the boss, they did it.
And you saw some of the most whinny babies God created. nothing satisfied them. And if you could spread a rumor to get ahead...stab someone when they werent looking? they did that. But of course, not all of the men OR WOMEN are like that. You will have a few in every crowd.
Its too bad a few bad apples can spoil the whole bunch. It really is too bad. I want to attempt to be every day, one of the good apples.
and look, the bad ones, they eventually got what was coming to them. They hung theirselves. i truely believe, what goes around comes around. so, what i want to do is concentrate on the cheer and good that i am spreading, so that, will come around. maybe influence the stabber or grouch to turn around !! And stand on the sidelines and watch the backstabbers dig thier own graves. even if it appears they are winning, in the end, they wont.
I am a cheerleader for you nurses !! You guys are awlesome !! If no one else has said it today...... Thank you for what you do !!
rascal
 
kimmiejs
 
Reply Sun 1 Jan, 2006 08:37 pm
I do feel your pain.....
I do feel your pain. I do not know why nursing has become so bloody cut throat. With my job I am constantly going between two nursing units. On most days I do not take a break and I am lucky to get 10 minutes to eat my lunch without my phone ringing. There are a couple of nurses that act like they are my best friend and as soon as I walk away they talk about "how lazy I am". These are the same nurses that when they have been assigned to do my job if I am lucky enough to get a day off tell me they would "not have my job for all the money in the world." Go figure.

I am actually leaving my hospital in June to move back over the deep blue sea. If I wasn't moving, I would have to leave my hospital and go back to the hospital I worked at in Savannah.
 
BrownSugar 1
 
Reply Mon 16 Jan, 2006 11:00 pm
Interesting .. very intersting .. making me wanna quite .. is tommorow too soon ? Loll !!

I didn't realize it was this bad Sad.
 
 

 
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