Backstabbing

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LisaRN
 
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 02:58 pm
I, too, have had this happen, several times. I have lost a job over it as well. There are just some people out there that seemingly get away with anything and everything...and everyone beleives them...or at least the managers and the ones that have control over your job.

I advise talking to your manager as well. If this doesnt help, I would look for another job. Nursing jobs are everywhere, you shouldnt have to walk on egg shells at work. We all know that nursing is stressfull enough as it is...all by itself..

LisaRN
 
cnsemler
 
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 03:05 pm
Re: back stabbers
Sad
Yes, I have had this happen 2 x and ended up in the hospital with a nervous breakdown both times. Life is not fair to the good nurses. We are the ones with the tenderhearts.
Nancy
 
makomarl
 
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 04:12 pm
backstabbing
I think the amount of backstabbing in nursing is huge. I am currently a RN and completing my MSN. I will be a family nurse practitioner by the middle of the summer. I work in an orthopedic office. As my graduation comes near, the other RN's have been absolutely awful to me, complaining and falsifying data against me. I work in an office, and I am really scared. My boss is a very cliquish RN who has her favorites. I need a good reference from this witch of a manager more than I have ever needed a reference in my life; and I am filled with despair. Worst of all, they have actual meetings at the bar and if people do not go they get talked about. So in addition to having to put up with it at work, I have to go out with them too. I do not know what to do. Prior to this I had worked in this office for four years with no complaints and few problems. I am going to have one of my friends secretly check my reference and if it is not good I will have to confront my manager. What else can I do?
 
beckr1lpn
 
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 06:34 pm
GREAT BUT LONG STORY-sorry!
Yes, there are backstabbers everywhere, not only in the medical(nursing) field, but EVERYWHERE!! I am an LPN, who had for the past 3 years worked for a well-known o2/dme company. I loved the place-everyone was so close and "family" like-until little by little you found that "the boss" wasn't really "the boss", but one of the customer service rep's(receptionist) was actually "the boss". A very christian-like lady, at that. Who would do anything to help anyone, but on the other hand would get "angry" at people for what she took as personal reasons(calling in too much, not answering pages asap, being tardy, not making her the center of attention-ie: not kissin her behind). She would make sure to always talk about everyone there at some point in time, and little by little, one by one, our employees were disappearing(being fired for such reasons as "noncompliance", excessive tardiness/absenteeism, falsifying documents, etc. etc.-in essence, a load of crap). See, she was "close" to our DM and definantly had brown on her nose. After medical leave, at which my fellow friends/employees were suddenly "jealous" of my extended leave(sickness), once I returned to work no smiles, no friendliness, not even as much as hello from anyone there for 3 days-and then a snowstorm that I for the 1st time decided not to risk my life, and my baby's, nor my daughter's to get there on time and was late. Worked overtime and made up hours and the next week was fired as soon as I walked in for "excessive tardiness". My good loving friends whom always kept in touch, have not called, written, or anything-it's been 2 months now. But oh well, when I see them in public I make sure to "kill em w/ kindness" and by the way(even though not even half of what I made)I get to draw unemployment for 6 months(if I desire) and spent time that was lost with my children!!! Bet they love that!!!!! Very Happy So, hang in there, keep your head up, never let em see ya cry, and kill em with kindness! It all comes back to them in the end!!! :wink: [/url][/i]
 
iggasuz
 
Reply Wed 4 May, 2005 11:42 am
Backstabber
Evil or Very Mad
A backstabber cost me my job and a complaint against my nursing license. I am currently looking for a position which is complicated by the fact that I can't get a reference from my last employer.

Beware... be very aware !!! If someone has it in for you they can complicate your professional life on a grand scale.

Just for the record...I confronted this person and the situation got worse. More subversive and more vicious. It was a small community hospital in a small town that i relocated to from a large city in another state.

I won't make that mistake again !!!![/b]
 
jeremyrn
 
Reply Wed 4 May, 2005 11:13 pm
I work in a small hospital which only has about 60 nurses on payroll. Most are like family but there are some cliques. As a GN, I applied for a job in the ED and got it. There were 5 other nurses trying for this same job and I was their target. I got a call from my DON at least once a week for 2 months saying "I heard that you said...about/to..." It got so bad that I considered turning in my resignation, but I wouldn't quit until admin addressed the issue. It was very discouraging to me, being only a couple months out of school. Things have since improved, marginally, but as I gain confidence in myself and my skills, I try not to let it get to me. I am very careful as to who I allow into my trust, and as for the ones who were starting the rumors, I have found that if you offer to help them or do something for them, you can almost see the smoke coming out of their ears. Bottom line is, make sure that you do not put yourself in a questionable situation and people will know when the rumors are true or not.

Jeremy
 
labber50
 
Reply Sat 7 May, 2005 12:45 am
Backstabbing
I know backstabbing first hand! Worked parttime evenings for a SNF almost 7 yrs. on the same division. I recieve no benefits except 401-K. Informed my DON ONE YEAR AGO WITH UPDATE LETTERS EVERY THREE MONTHS that I would be out of town on vacation for 10 working days in April 2005. Long story short............they did not like that I would be gone for such a long time. Only after much prodding did my DON tell me that I would not have the same hours on my same division once I returned from the trip. Was told that my evening co-worker (she worked my days off and I worked her days off) was changing from parttime to fulltime status, thus absorbing some of my hours. When I learned of this, I gave notice.

One never knows............................
 
nanalab
 
Reply Mon 27 Jun, 2005 11:53 pm
backstabbing
like i have always said....."every dog does eventually have his day"""""

just hang in there if you can, what goes around usualy comes around.

but if it doesn't,,, you are needed elsewhere, maybe it would be to your

advantage to look elsewhere for another, possible a better, job.
 
Wildflower63 1
 
Reply Tue 28 Jun, 2005 10:42 am
I have yet to work at a single facility without finding back stabbers. Finally, I started confronting them. Choose your words correctly if you do this because they will run straight to the DON with things you said and things you didn't. I tell the DON first what was discussed.

I have found standing up to them without anger works best. I have approached backstabbers saying things like, "It has come to my attention that you have a problem with....and I would like to know why you said these things. I feel it is important for us to straighten this problem out."

Much to my surprise, they are shocked that you actually had the nerve to say something to them and be very calm about it. Sometimes they shut up and leave you alone and sometimes they try to power play you to make themselves appear smart and you look stupid. That's when I start reporting every single problem with the backstabber to the DON and warn other nurses. They all have left me alone and went on to pick on someone else.

Most nurses are fantastic team players who will help each other. I don't care where you work, you will find people who aren't all that nice. I believe they have serious insecurity issues. Everyone usually knows who the backstabbers are. I have found out the hard way to discredit them with other nurses and the DON.

Sometimes I think these backstabbers get away with this nonsense in nursing because a lot relies on a judgment call, sometimes on gut instinct that something isn't right. There are many ways to approach good patient care, but we all may not choose the exact same way of handling a situation and no one is right or wrong. Backstabbers always have to be right.

I strongly suggest standing up to them and being firm questioning them about the first problem that hits your ear and I think everyone knows what I mean. Everyone knows who the backstabbers are, but don't talk about it. No nurse wants to be their chosen one to pick at. I have made broadcast announcements about why I was in the DONs office over a backstabber's complaint, part truth and the rest an exaggeration to make me look incompetent and they look brilliant.

Most nurses are good people willing to work together. They are actually relieved when hearing me outraged, giving the absolute truth of some backstabbers latest, warning them to watch their backs. The backstabbers hate you for this public service announcement, but the majority of nurses will support you because they know the reality of it all.

I lost my very first nursing job, right out of school, out of ignorance of how vicious people can be. Nursing is a tough job and we don't need our co-workers to make it harder for us and more stressful than it already is. Years later, with age and experience, I am bold and not afraid to confront these evil people who I really wonder how their patients are treated, since they have no compassion for their fellow nurse. I think they are in the wrong profession, not me.

Ok, I am off my soapbox! lol!! This backstabbing issue is something that makes me hate my job. I don't think anyone outside the medical field really understands the pressure nurses are under or the fact that co-workers can and will make it even harder.

Great topic!!
 
silverarabs
 
Reply Tue 28 Jun, 2005 07:35 pm
Re: being back stabbed recently
Yes, It happened to me at Mercy Medical Center in sioux city, IA. In the ICU, the nurses were wonderful to help me and I was more than willing to do whatever they wanted, and they still made up lies and got me fired from my contract. I was DEVASTATED!!!! I am so trusting and beleiving, I guess, BEWARE of the"WOLVES in SHEEPS clothing"!!!!! I loved it there and was railroaded out of my job!!!!!! I wasn't even given a chance to say anything in my defense. They just notified their company called "Strategic Solutions", and they were to handle it. I am not allowed any contact with the head nurse to tell her my side of the story, or any retribution to the nurses who lied about my care and what happened actually. I am going to have to not trust anyone,anymore!!! I think that is sad!!!!
 
HuggyPuglet
 
Reply Fri 8 Jul, 2005 08:03 pm
Nursing Shortage?
Wild thought with no basis in fact.

Nursing = shortage of nurses
New Nurses = alleviation of shortage
Backstabbing = Firing of New Nurses
Firing = shortage of nurses
Shortage of nurses = job security
 
Wildflower63 1
 
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2005 07:09 am
May be a wild thought, but sounds about right to me....
 
silverarabs
 
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2005 08:42 am
backstabbing=job security
Yeah, maybe you're right. The nurses were concerned about the older, more expensive nurses being pushed out by management.!
 
Wildflower63 1
 
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2005 12:55 pm
I actually believe those strange thoughts posted. I have dealt with competitive nurses when there is absolutely nothing to compete for. If you are one of these Bitch Nurses, please tell the rest of us idiots why you just can't work together and why you feel so threatened.

This just isn't right, unless you think you are SuperNurse, which you arent. Why do nurses act this way, costing other nurses their job? We should work together, but don't. I don't get it.
 
Neznu
 
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2005 08:16 pm
Corkybann,
just wanted to let you know that I feel for you and have been in your shoes......in texas we have a little club we like to call the "Nursing Mafia" if you belong...then your covered from peeps like the one you discribed.....I have lots of family and we all take care of each other

"You can never get enough of what you don't want"
 
Wildflower63 1
 
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 10:58 am
I just got off a major soap box in a different topic about why nurses aren't paid as well as we should be and why we don't work together. Here is the link, just in case you have insomnia and need an outraged nurse's writing to help you fall asleep! lol!

http://www.nurse-forum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8131#8131

I'm Wildflower and blew a gasket about how bad other nurses treat each other and the fact that the Nursing Board doesn't make the situation better, dividing nurses according to status, LPN, ADN, BSN, and even our NAs.

We are working short because nurses that don't really have to put up with this nonsense, retire or decide to be a bartender, which pays close enough. There are a lot of licensed nurses that refuse working short, the disrespect we get, and too little on our paycheck to make up for the difference. We need to respect each other and work together and things will get better, but we don't.

The reason for a nursing shortage is obvious. We are wrapped up in some petty competition, set up by our own Nursing Board, telling us who is smart and who is not. There really is a status ladder, but we are working nurses and didn't build it. We are all intelligent women who need to utilize each other's strengths, not pick on anyone's weakness. No nurse, I couldn't care less how high up you think you are on the food chain, is all knowing. Sometimes our own NAs will know something is wrong before we do. Respect them as part of nursing also.

I think we are cutting our own throats and setting ourselves up for poor staffing and lousy working conditions, over a Nursing Board 'food chain' of who is smarter. Get real! All experienced nurses are plenty intelligent or would be before the board over incompetent behavior and no longer hold a license at all.

Nursing is complex and we all have differing strengths. Quit bitching about your co-worker and utilize her strengths. Work together, no matter how we rank, we are all nurses or nursing assistants that want the same thing, good patient care.

Please send me an application for being a Mafia Nurse. I am very interested!!!
 
HuggyPuglet
 
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 06:03 pm
Soap Box
AAAA-MEN Wildflower! AAAAAAMEN!


Wildflower63 wrote:
I just got off a major soap box in a different topic about why nurses aren't paid as well as we should be and why we don't work together. Here is the link, just in case you have insomnia and need an outraged nurse's writing to help you fall asleep! lol!

http://www.nurse-forum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8131#8131

I'm Wildflower and blew a gasket about how bad other nurses treat each other and the fact that the Nursing Board doesn't make the situation better, dividing nurses according to status, LPN, ADN, BSN, and even our NAs.

We are working short because nurses that don't really have to put up with this nonsense, retire or decide to be a bartender, which pays close enough. There are a lot of licensed nurses that refuse working short, the disrespect we get, and too little on our paycheck to make up for the difference. We need to respect each other and work together and things will get better, but we don't.

The reason for a nursing shortage is obvious. We are wrapped up in some petty competition, set up by our own Nursing Board, telling us who is smart and who is not. There really is a status ladder, but we are working nurses and didn't build it. We are all intelligent women who need to utilize each other's strengths, not pick on anyone's weakness. No nurse, I couldn't care less how high up you think you are on the food chain, is all knowing. Sometimes our own NAs will know something is wrong before we do. Respect them as part of nursing also.

I think we are cutting our own throats and setting ourselves up for poor staffing and lousy working conditions, over a Nursing Board 'food chain' of who is smarter. Get real! All experienced nurses are plenty intelligent or would be before the board over incompetent behavior and no longer hold a license at all.

Nursing is complex and we all have differing strengths. Quit bitching about your co-worker and utilize her strengths. Work together, no matter how we rank, we are all nurses or nursing assistants that want the same thing, good patient care.

Please send me an application for being a Mafia Nurse. I am very interested!!!
 
Neznu
 
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 07:40 pm
To become part of the nursing mafia family you have to get a gold coin ring.....mine has a cat on it, I bought mine as a graduation present to myself.
Then you must wear it to work and lay low and see who else wears one....then you give them the nod and if they give you the nod back then they might be mafioso......don't just assume he or she is, you gotta do a little homework.....get to know em and find out......
I have gotten to know a few nurses that do not know what the ring means, and I've blessed them into the family....but only if they wanted to.....some nurses don't get my humor....go figure? also you gotta keep it a sacred secret :wink:
 
Wildflower63 1
 
Reply Sun 17 Jul, 2005 12:28 am
Neznu, I get it! I only want a Mafia Nurse Application and that ring to go with my membership. Where do I buy that sacred ring? lol!
 
Neznu
 
Reply Sun 17 Jul, 2005 04:04 pm
Sacred Ring
Have you seen a coin ring? they are like round and usually gold....
get one of those and then contact me for further instructions Very Happy
 
 

 
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