Open Apology

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Day 1
 
Reply Fri 6 Oct, 2006 09:21 am
Open Apology
Over the last year and a half, since first hearing about Ricky, I have been visiting this web site. The articles, comments and information featured here have had a profound effect on my life. When I left TF in 1978, there was not a doubt in my mind that TF would soon crumble on account of their reprehensible actions and lies. Obviously, I was very mistaken. In the 27 years following my departure, I saw a couple of television programs, read a newspaper article that Berg had died, but had no contact with any members, or former members, other than my ex and his wife occasionally.

When I would conjure up the courage to speak to my immediate family or the clergy about TF, my assertions were treated as exaggerations, or stupid, shameful things in my past that shouldn’t be voiced or pursued, only ignored and forgotten. I very much regret that I failed to follow through to the best of my ability and adamantly sound the alarm, preferring to be thankful for being able to get away from TF and sadly, to remain oblivious to the plight of so many others who were not so fortunate. I realize my apology is of little consolation to those who have suffered so terribly at the hands of TF, but it is sincere and heartfelt. Please forgive me.
 
evanman
 
Reply Fri 6 Oct, 2006 11:23 am
It is natural for people who leave any cult to seek to maintain a low profile. It is not always a bad thing.

Time out may have helped you learn, strengthen yourself and become better able to go on the offensive against the evil you once engaged in.
 
Day 1
 
Reply Fri 6 Oct, 2006 12:46 pm
I am ashamed to admit that for me, as an FGA, to recognize and acknowledge, ..."the evil you once engaged in," was a hard one to come by. It was so much easier, comforting and counterproductive to see myself only as a victim and to recoil at the suggestion that I wasn't blameless. For that insight alone, I am thankful for this web site.
 
Acheick
 
Reply Sat 7 Oct, 2006 10:41 am
Day wrote:
I am ashamed to admit that for me, as an FGA, to recognize and acknowledge, ..."the evil you once engaged in," was a hard one to come by. It was so much easier, comforting and counterproductive to see myself only as a victim and to recoil at the suggestion that I wasn't blameless. For that insight alone, I am thankful for this web site.


I really admire you. That's very brave of you to make a public statement like that. I used to think that if all the exers could come together and be a force to be reconciled with, we could put so much pressure on TF, they'd either fall apart, or dump the leadership and Berg. But sadly, it didn't happen. It seems that most people just fade into the horizon never to be seen or heard again. You are doing more than that, so you should be proud of that.
 
Day 1
 
Reply Sun 8 Oct, 2006 02:51 pm
Thank you, Acheick. I appreciate your kindness. (It’s just reality setting in though, rather than bravery.)

You know, I wonder if exers many differences aren’t part of the difficulty there seems to be in effectively uniting against TF, except that our diversity doesn’t have to be a drawback. What it does, is afford us more options, ideas and avenues to help expose TF and their criminal acts.

On the other hand, the one interest most exers do have in common and the one which is really most important, is the children. Their sexual abuse, psychological torture and physical neglect (just to name a few), are so undeniable. Regardless of one’s religious leanings, social position, educational background or nationality, most rational beings would agree that the abuse and exploitation of children is wrong. To turn our backs on them and look the other way, not only adds insult to their injuries, but in a very real way makes one culpable, as well, for their continued suffering.
 
Acheick
 
Reply Sun 8 Oct, 2006 03:07 pm
Day wrote:
Thank you, Acheick. I appreciate your kindness. (It’s just reality setting in though, rather than bravery.)

You know, I wonder if exers many differences aren’t part of the difficulty there seems to be in effectively uniting against TF, except that our diversity doesn’t have to be a drawback. What it does, is afford us more options, ideas and avenues to help expose TF and their criminal acts.

On the other hand, the one interest most exers do have in common and the one which is really most important, is the children. Their sexual abuse, psychological torture and physical neglect (just to name a few), are so undeniable. Regardless of one’s religious leanings, social position, educational background or nationality, most rational beings would agree that the abuse and exploitation of children is wrong. To turn our backs on them and look the other way, not only adds insult to their injuries, but in a very real way makes one culpable, as well, for their continued suffering.


Day - I don't think it's our differences so much as fear. Also, being traumatized, and I would include all of us, many times people don't want to think about the trauma at all, ever. That was true with holocaust survivors and also, I've seen that with my own race, the Armenians, so many of them did not want to do anything but just live in peace and maybe that was a bad thing, I don't know. But just before that generation died, their grandchildren took up the torch and got them to talking and putting it in books, documentaries, etc. I think that might be more the case than anything. It's just human nature. Self preservation, I suppose.
 
Cookie 2
 
Reply Sun 8 Oct, 2006 07:24 pm
And let us not forget another important reason a lot of us won't do anything that would seriously jeopardize TF, and that is that while some of us have had negative experiences, a lot of others haven't who are IN the family still, but some of us with bad experiences (like me) don't WANT to do the family any harm because we still have family there. Some people from my immediate family are still there, and i love them more than i love anyone else in the world, besides the other chunk of my family that also left. I don't wish them any ill. they're honest to goodness great missionaries, and they're very sincere in their desire to help others, and the Family gives them that platform. They're so good, and so sincere(maybe sincerely wrong, but they don't seem to "get" that because they haven't experienced or met out the injustices and are free to believe whatever they want to. in the US it's a constitutional right).They would have a very difficult a time adapting and adjusting to this world and wouldn't know how to support their young children. one parent is not american and the other can't give citizenship to the kids, so they wouldn't have the american lifestyle which is the comfortable one I have. In their case, they have a better lifestyle in the Family then they would out of it, so how could i ever do anything to hurt them? i have such mixed feelings about what i want for them. i honestly don't know what would be the better good or evil. I just know i would never hurt the family as long as they're in it. it would be cruel, and no one can convince me otherwise. They're all happy there for now, so until they ask for, or seem to need help, I'll try to say my peace, hope they believe some of what i say, hope they even wander to a site like ours (forbidden in the family to read x'member sites) and eventually come to their senses like i feel i did -- eventually. it took me more than a decade (was born into it).
 
Day 1
 
Reply Sun 8 Oct, 2006 07:40 pm
Acheick, you’re right about fear being so debilitating and it probably does top the list at being the greatest hindrance to any endeavor. Ironically, fear also seems to be one of TF’s preferred methods to control and manipulate their members. Even in rejecting TF, I imagine that many former members do continue to struggle with that ingrained torment (myself included), of course, in a completely different set of circumstances, and some without a support system that might enable them to develop a healthier, more confident outlook in time.
 
Day 1
 
Reply Sun 8 Oct, 2006 08:06 pm
Cookie wrote:
They're so good, and so sincere(maybe sincerely wrong, but they don't seem to "get" that because they haven't experienced or met out the injustices and are free to believe whatever they want to.

No disrespect intended, but are they free to believe whatever they want to? My impression was that TF members had to believe and practice what TF dictated, or they weren't really members,... at least that was my experience. Confused Would you elaborate?
 
Acheick
 
Reply Sun 8 Oct, 2006 11:43 pm
Cookie wrote:
And let us not forget another important reason a lot of us won't do anything that would seriously jeopardize TF, and that is that while some of us have had negative experiences, a lot of others haven't who are IN the family still, but some of us with bad experiences (like me) don't WANT to do the family any harm because we still have family there. Some people from my immediate family are still there, and i love them more than i love anyone else in the world, besides the other chunk of my family that also left. I don't wish them any ill. they're honest to goodness great missionaries, and they're very sincere in their desire to help others, and the Family gives them that platform. They're so good, and so sincere(maybe sincerely wrong, but they don't seem to "get" that because they haven't experienced or met out the injustices and are free to believe whatever they want to. in the US it's a constitutional right).They would have a very difficult a time adapting and adjusting to this world and wouldn't know how to support their young children. one parent is not american and the other can't give citizenship to the kids, so they wouldn't have the american lifestyle which is the comfortable one I have. In their case, they have a better lifestyle in the Family then they would out of it, so how could i ever do anything to hurt them? i have such mixed feelings about what i want for them. i honestly don't know what would be the better good or evil. I just know i would never hurt the family as long as they're in it. it would be cruel, and no one can convince me otherwise. They're all happy there for now, so until they ask for, or seem to need help, I'll try to say my peace, hope they believe some of what i say, hope they even wander to a site like ours (forbidden in the family to read x'member sites) and eventually come to their senses like i feel i did -- eventually. it took me more than a decade (was born into it).


Cookie- I certainly know what you mean. I have relations in TF too, very, very dear to me. But I would much rather they do what they are doing without the yoke of Maria on their lives and that their children grow up with more freedom to be themselves and not robots and unable to live in the real world as their parents are not able to, just as you say. They can still do what they are doing and not have to tithe 14 percent of their income and jump through hoops because Maria says to live in a commune of 15 people, then changes her mind and says it needs to be at lesat 30, then everyone has to suddenly shuffle again. It's stupid and a hardship on these young families - wouldn't you agree? However, I do know what you mean and also wouldn't want any harm to come to the ones that are sincere and genuinely trying to save the world.
 
m 2
 
Reply Mon 9 Oct, 2006 02:44 am
I've also got family there... in fact my whole family is still there; I'm the only one out. I love my family more than anything, yet I would still willingly harm TFI.
The fact is that everybody there is someone's family. You (Cookie) don't wish any harm on TFI for the moment because (and I'm making an assumption here) you don't want your family to be adversely affected/hurt/harmed.
Yet you would (another assumption here) willingly cause the same pain that you would shield your family from on others' families.

The way I see it, my parents can continue to do what they do without TF. It would be harder on my brothers who are off in other homes with their Family lifestyle and all, but it would only do them good to get real. Better sooner rather than later.
If they wish to remain missionaries they can do so with a legitimate organization.

I don't really see how it would harm people in TF. All that would happen is they would disassociate themselves from TF and continue on the same lifestyle, doing the same things i.e. "fundraising", not paying taxes, lying about being missionaries so that they can live on good-hearted people's money.
Except they wouldn't have any more GNs to fuck up their minds.

The only downside I can see (to TF disbanding - am I looking to far ahead here?) is that the network of homes across the world would be destroyed, and we all know how much TF's young people like travelling from home to home. It's good for them, I guess. Plus it (the network) provides a sense of fellowship/belonging to all the isolated families, off living on their own.

And I'm sure it would be bad psychologically for the old timers, that is the FG adults who've spent and dedicated their lives to TF and who have no more chance for a career (i.e. my parents, who I'm sure could never hold a "system" job). Right now my parents are great, happy people. I'm afraid that if TF disbanded they would feel lost, betrayed, and their life flame would be snuffed out.

(Unfortunately?) I do not see the big Z and her teachings being removed without TF's eventual dissolution. Why? The thing that keeps them together in the first place is the concept that they are special or "elite". What makes them special is that they have "the true word of God" or the "new wine" in the form of these wacko interpretations and revelations.
Take those away, and they (TF) are no longer any different from the myriad of other Christian groups that inhabit our planet.

Or at least their "specialness" is gone; they are no longer God's elite endtime forces, and all that is left is a social organization where members will try to take advantage whatever home they live in, and move on like parasites when they've outstayed their welcome.

Their feeling of uniqueness is IMO what keeps them together, and is why they can afford that atmosphere of trust that most TF members have toward each other, which is actually quite a nice thing.
Take their uniqueness (screwy teachings) away, and you remove the glue that holds them together; trust breaks down, homes isolate themselves, etc, etc.
 
Day 1
 
Reply Mon 9 Oct, 2006 08:20 am
TF’s arrogance in presuming that they are the only ones truly serving God, that their beliefs are somehow more enlightened and their service more acceptable to God, reveals IMO the utmost in self-righteousness. They dangle the promise of spiritual preeminence, but what they’re really offering is snake oil, fuzzy feelings and delusion, nothing extraordinary at all.
 
Acheick
 
Reply Mon 9 Oct, 2006 10:30 am
M - exactly. And that uniqueness was always trumped up to be their sexual "permissiveness" - this is what is supposed to separate them from the robotic, stuffy churches. It's also God's "test" to weed out the half-hearted. If they don't have those sexual excesses, then they are no longer different and exotic and so-called "revolutionary" and cutting edge, God's special elite forces. Take that away, and they become just another Christian group - horrors. Yet, ironically, it's those sexual deviances that make them so wrong.

There are heart-warming stories of whole families leaving and continuing on with their work as in helping in orphanages, etc. Except, they actually stick to one orphanage and genuinely help them through thick and thin. So, it can be done. But it's true about the old guard, some of them are so f___d up in their head, I'm not sure how they would respond to no more Maria, no more mommy to hold their hand. Sigh.
 
max 1
 
Reply Mon 9 Oct, 2006 12:06 pm
I see you’re all at it again, just like good old George W below and he’s the biggest idiot on the planet!

"See in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." George W Bush May 2005.

Love & God Bless

Max
 
evanman
 
Reply Mon 9 Oct, 2006 01:28 pm
I tawt i hoid a puddy tat?
 
Anonymous
 
Reply Mon 9 Oct, 2006 06:12 pm
I don't know what your actual meaning is.
Cookie wrote:
And let us not forget another important reason a lot of us won't do anything that would seriously jeopardize TF, and that is that while some of us have had negative experiences, a lot of others haven't who are IN the family still, but some of us with bad experiences (like me) don't WANT to do the family any harm because we still have family there. Some people from my immediate family are still there, and i love them more than i love anyone else in the world, besides the other chunk of my family that also left. I don't wish them any ill. they're honest to goodness great missionaries, and they're very sincere in their desire to help others, and the Family gives them that platform. They're so good, and so sincere(maybe sincerely wrong, but they don't seem to "get" that because they haven't experienced or met out the injustices and are free to believe whatever they want to. in the US it's a constitutional right).They would have a very difficult a time adapting and adjusting to this world and wouldn't know how to support their young children. one parent is not american and the other can't give citizenship to the kids, so they wouldn't have the american lifestyle which is the comfortable one I have. In their case, they have a better lifestyle in the Family then they would out of it, so how could i ever do anything to hurt them? i have such mixed feelings about what i want for them. i honestly don't know what would be the better good or evil. I just know i would never hurt the family as long as they're in it. it would be cruel, and no one can convince me otherwise. They're all happy there for now, so until they ask for, or seem to need help, I'll try to say my peace, hope they believe some of what i say, hope they even wander to a site like ours (forbidden in the family to read x'member sites) and eventually come to their senses like i feel i did -- eventually. it took me more than a decade (was born into it).


Let's get analytical for a minute. When you say you "don't want to do the Family any harm", what do you mean?

What actions of yours do you refer to, with what effect on whom?

By whom, I am asking to focus the lens so that the fuzzy "the Family" can come in to focus. Do you mean the children, the leaders, the abusers?
 
Acheick
 
Reply Mon 9 Oct, 2006 07:31 pm
evanman wrote:
I tawt i hoid a puddy tat?


naw, more like a shark if you ask me.
 
max 1
 
Reply Tue 10 Oct, 2006 02:17 am
Acheick wrote:
evanman wrote:
I tawt i hoid a puddy tat?


naw, more like a shark if you ask me.



I suppose nothing original left to say, all been said before ad nausea.
I do like the shark descriptive most apt, thank you.
Great new Scorsese Movie Out, it’s a must see.


Love & God Bless

Max
 
evanman
 
Reply Tue 10 Oct, 2006 02:24 am
There's a little mosquito keeps buzzin' around...wonder when the admins are going to swat it?
 
Day 1
 
Reply Tue 10 Oct, 2006 06:10 am
Another theory could be that Max is just practicing some more on his new found "media persona," the announcer who cuts into the program in progress to bring us an important message. And his latest newsflash ...
max wrote:
I suppose [Max has] nothing original left to say, all been said before ad nausea.
 
 

 
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