@jufa,
Wow a thinker and i'll bet a meditater... I love it...
What I believe is that everybody has a purpose {Dharma} in life... It is different for everybody... Most people might think they never find it... But I believe you can't really get off your Dharma or spiritual path... You can speed it up and cause stress and confusion in one's life... Or you can slow it way down and cause suffering... Better to go at Gods speed...
If your are one of the people reading this and you think you can't find your Dharma in life here is a little trick... The way to find your purpose in life is to ask God as your falling asleep at night… This is the ask and it shall be given unto you process… The next step is seek and ye shall find… That’s all about keeping your mind and eyes open… It may take a week, a month or even more time… It will be the thing that excites you the most… God's will and your will are the same, it's just that God's will for you is unconceivable because there is no ending…
Once you find it there is only a few things that will stop you from having your Dharma… Money, time, and other people's opinions.. If you go for it, god will provide the money and time… You will have to deal with other people's opinions…
You can't really experience God until you get serious… If you wanted to become a concert pianist you are never going to get there by practicing an hour a week… You can't get there practicing an hour a day… You'll have to practices 5 to 10 hours a day for years… Why should getting to your creator take anything less… If you want to really experience God you have to have some basic knowledge of his true existents and create the proper habits that produce results…
You'll want to reconnect with him, so you'll have a direct line of communication… That's when all those questions you might have from all those books you've been reading get answered… I was blessed to be born with a very strong desire to know the truth… My parents went to church… and we have had all kinds of supernatural things happen to different people in my family so it wasn't hard for me to believe in God… I thought, if there is a God, it has to be the most important thing that exist, and therefor, I should learn about it, as much as I can… I was 17 back then which was about 50 years ago… Once I learned how to communicate with our creator, the information just pours in, way faster then you can read… and it doesn't take much reasoning like it does with a book… Truths in life become quite obvious…
If you want to know God you have to understand that the mind is like a monkey in a glass shop… If you don't get control over it, he will break all your glass… You need to understand that the mind is also like a CB radio… You can send a message {praying} or you can receive a message.. {information} But you can't send and receive at the same time… Real knowledge comes from the experience of God himself… Everything else is pure speculation… You can't become a martial arts expert by reading a book, you have to practice… Why would it take any less effort to get to God?
You start sending {Thinking/praying} the minute you wake up… In fact you have been sending all night while you are dreaming… God interjects in that gap between your thoughts… The biggest gab most people have is the brief moment when the mind stops thinking just before you fall asleep at night… That’s why the experts suggest that time for subliminal messaging,, Also like the CB radio you have to tune into a station/God you want communicate with… You can't watch a horror movie and then shut your mind down… That’s why people have nightmares… I use the lord's prayer to dial in… The lord's pray is packed full of hidden information… You'll noticed I said information… once again true knowledge comes from creating habits, that produce the experience…
If you want god you're going to have to practice the presents of peace in body and mind… If you are enduring physical suffering you will have to learn to detach from it… It can be done… You can't have God without peace and you can't have peace without God… If you practice the presents of peace it is only a matter of time until they both manifest… {Read Paramahansa Yogananda...} This is when you get incredible gifts from god…
You have to be careful not to give into a superiority spiritual ego… If you do, you will drop back a level and will have to practice hard to get your gifts back… This has happened to me many times… It's not like I see it as a super spiritual ego… It's just that the gifts are so incredible, I want everybody to have them, and that’s what gets me in trouble…
You have to understand… It's a foolproof system… You really can't lose... You will either learn from the school of bumps and knocks, or the school of wisdom… It's only a matter of time until you get tired of suffering and turn to God… It may take hundreds of life times before you get tired of it…
I am fortunate to be one of the few people who have instant karma… If I do something wrong I pay for it right away… That way it doesn't accumulate… When this stuff happens to you, your whole life, it's really hard to doubt it… Just remember, we are not human beings trying to become spiritual; We are spiritual beings trying to be human, and that’s where the problem lays.
Namaste!