is it better to be hated for who you are, or liked for who you are not?

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Reply Wed 9 Jun, 2010 05:15 pm
More broadly: is fake happiness still happiness?
 
Jebediah
 
Reply Wed 9 Jun, 2010 05:33 pm
@theguy0000,
I'm not sure we should be going "more broad" here.

The reason we aren't completely outspoken is because we want people to like us, not hate us. The reason we do speak our mind is because we like to act naturally. Whether we speak our mind or not depends on the situation and which of the two benefits we want more/which of the two bad things we are willing to put up with. So I don't think it makes sense to make a broad statement like "it is better to be hated for who you are".
 
Classic Red
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 12:08 pm
@theguy0000,
People may hate you for who you are but definitly not everyone. Its just a matter of finding someone that shares common characteristics.

If you pretend that your someone who you aren't just to fit in or be liked, your really not getting the positive attention. Besides would you even be happy being liked for someone who you really aren't. You should be liked for who you are.
 
George
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 12:14 pm
If you're at peace with who you are, comfortable in your own skin, as they
say, then it won't matter to you whether you are loved or hated. But who
is so detached? Not I, certainly. Yet, it's something to strive for, this ideal
of self-sufficiency.

Maybe if I meditated more . . .
 
HexHammer
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 12:23 pm
@theguy0000,
theguy0000 wrote:
More broadly: is fake happiness still happiness?
Surely depends on how strong your inner self are, and what you are disliked for.

I fiercely hold on my own value, as long as it isn't damaging.
 
OmSigDAVID
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 12:26 pm
@theguy0000,
theguy0000 wrote:
More broadly: is fake happiness still happiness?
Too many questions, simultaneously.

If I say no, will u know which q was answered ?
 
djjd62
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 01:06 pm
i'd rather know where i stand, if that's being hated so be it

i worked with a girl who bitched about everyone she worked with, yet somehow made you feel like she never talked about you behind your back (but talking with others proved her to be a liar), i'd rather you bitch about to my face, or at least admit that you backstab everybody equally
 
dyslexia
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 01:13 pm
a buncha scum sucking pigs.
thank you, the Dys.
 
DrewDad
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 01:18 pm
@theguy0000,
theguy0000 wrote:
is it better to be hated for who you are, or liked for who you are not?

I've found that the best solution is to be liked for who you are.

Fake happiness is like using too much sand in concrete. It might look pretty for a time, but it will crumble if put under pressure.
 
Zetherin
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 01:20 pm
@theguy0000,
theguy0000 wrote:

More broadly: is fake happiness still happiness?


Can you give me an example of fake happiness? Do you mean when you pretend to be happy? Then no, fake happiness is not happiness. But I'm sure you already knew that. You probably also knew that pretending to be surprised is not the same as being surprised.

And to answer your first question, that depends. Sometimes it is better to be hated for who you are, and sometimes it is better to be liked for who you are not. In fact, it is often the case that I'm liked by a boss for things which I would say, outside of the business world, I am not. But, I make sure that my boss continues to like me since that means I get promoted faster. In terms of romantic relationships, personally, I advocate being who you are, that is, not deceiving.
 
George
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 01:42 pm
I don't think there's any such thing as "fake happiness".
But then, we haven't defined our terms, have we?
 
DrewDad
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 01:51 pm
@George,
I took "fake happiness" to be:

Happiness based on a false foundation, and/or happiness based on having a positive reputation and/or regard which one does not feel is deserved.

One such false foundation would be believing that one's spouse is faithful when that is not true.

Having a false reputation would be one's spouse believing that you are faithful when you are not.
 
djjd62
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 01:53 pm
@DrewDad,
fake happiness = most hollywood stars (especially the c & d listers, like lindsay lohan and paris hilton)
 
Khethil
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 02:09 pm
I keep seeing this topic's question and keep mentally answering: Must I choose?
 
George
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 02:12 pm
@Khethil,
Khethil wrote:
I keep seeing this topic's question and keep mentally answering:
Must I choose?

Yeah, there's gotta be other options.
 
George
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 02:14 pm
@DrewDad,
But is happiness based on a false foundation any less happiness?
If I never find out about my cheating spouse, I'll be happy.
Some kinda if-then-else block with bliss and ignorance variables.
 
Zetherin
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 06:06 pm
@djjd62,
djjd62 wrote:

fake happiness = most hollywood stars (especially the c & d listers, like lindsay lohan and paris hilton)


Because Lindsay is a hollywood star, any happiness she may have is fake? Why is that the case?

Khethil wrote:
I keep seeing this topic's question and keep mentally answering: Must I choose?


I suppose he meant if you were put in a situation where you had to choose one or the other. But, like you insinuated, there are often other choices.
 
Huxley
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2010 06:26 pm
@theguy0000,
theguy0000 wrote:

More broadly: is fake happiness still happiness?


Yes.
 
OmSigDAVID
 
Reply Thu 17 Jun, 2010 07:01 am

If I were liked for who I am not,
I 'd disabuse the illusion, pretty fast.
Popularity has never been a hi priority in my own estimation.

I fly my own colors.





David
 
dyslexia
 
Reply Thu 17 Jun, 2010 09:55 am
@OmSigDAVID,
I happen to really like David, he is as honest as daylight and I greatly admire that because I find it to be rare on a2k. I also think David is goofy. Long may David continue to contribute to this forum.
 
 

 
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