Throughout life we make choices. Every action has a reaction, and those reactions are the signals. They give us a heads up on where we are headed, much like a sign on the freeway. The longer we continue to hold to that choice, the signals grow stronger. Here is an example. A child wants a cookie. They have a choice? ask for the cookie or take it without asking. Usually an agreement made is that we ask for what we want. There are risks on both sides. Asking allows the possibility of denial. Stealing offers the possibility of getting caught. The signal may be an apprehensiveness around the choice. Making the same choice regularly ups the ante. Some possible signals are getting caught and grounded, and further down the road? even jail time. On top of that is the depletion of honor in your life. The reason I am pointing this pattern out is that I see many people seemingly trapped in the chaos and turning bad signals into a cycle. Let's pull back the blinders and examine. We receive signals constantly, so often that many become numb and blind. While justifying the actions that make their lives miserable and their self image distorted they continue full bore down the path of self destruction. It becomes habit for them to explain to themselves why it is ok to make those choices. It's truly amazing how creative these explanations become. The weight of processing and remembering all those things grows the further we travel down the path. So much so that it affects our ability to function effectively in our lives. Honing the habits of self deception lets them sneak into every area of our conscious life, as well as the subconscious. This framework of deception eats at the core, leaving a hollow shell.
Sounds like a bleak existence. The solution is simple. Recognize and admit that that particular path is no longer one you desire, and then make the different choice EVERY time you reach a crossroad from that point forward.
　
The same principle works on choices in which you do like the signals your are receiving. In relationships we get signals as well. First may be physical, then intellectual, then love, etc. Along the path you get reminders. They are there for you when you really need them, they allow you to help them when they need it, or maybe just a look they give you. That choice leads you to making choices that will show your partner where you stand. These things improve the quality of your experience on a regular basis. You don't have to talk yourself into believing it or make up excuses why it is "ok." You are lifted up in contrast to getting weighed down. Making a different choice makes different results here as well. Looking for greener grass elsewhere shows up, even if you stay in the relationship. The longer it goes, the worse the relationship will be. Eventually there will be no turning back, and what was there will be gone.