... it wouldn't surprise me at all

I just read a novel in which two men fought a duel, and although one of them was shot in the shoulder (although his opponent tried to kill him) afterward they shook hands and were friends. I have no reason to think that could not happen in real life.

You would have something in common at least.

Dan.

I can't answer this question as no one has ever tried to kill me.

They'd probably need some other more redeeming qualities...

Sure, it's possible. Not very likely, but possible.

My answer is similar but subtly different than Didymos'.

It's possible but unlikey that it could happen, but there's no logical rule that says it can't happen.

Even if it has never happened in history, and doesn't ever end up happening in human history, that still then doesn't necessarily make it impossible.

This may skirt the intention of the original post however, Im not sure.

Victor, just to clarify and be sure, do you mean
Can you, personally, ever be friends with someone who tried to kill you?
or
Can a person ever be friends with someone who tried to kill them?

The difference matters.

Also, might I add the concept that the person tried to kill you while they were high because they had a bad drug problem from which they have now recovered and, for all appearances, now seems to be a decent, reformed fellow.

Can you, personally, ever be friends with someone who tried to kill you?

Let's go with that one. And no, me personally, I don't think I ever could. It's not good for my internal self-preservation mechanism.

Isn't it possible to override that mechanism?

I can imagine circumstances under which I could not only forgive, but forge a friendship with someone who tried to kill me. Again, those circumstances are highly unlikely, but they could arise.

It's possible, but overriding the mechanism voids the warranty.



Maybe an alliance out of necessity; the enemy of my enemy is my friend sort of thing, but actual friendship?

Sure; why not? Imagine - some person, deep into a crack cocaine addiction, without any means to secure a fix, tries to kill you for your money. Time passes, this person overcomes the addiction, and you meet again. This second meeting goes well - you have many similar interests, ect.

That's very optimistic, but this fella was not of sound mind and judgment at the time of the attempted murder. But even so, could anyone claim to be good friends with this hypothetical individual?

Maybe I should rephrase: Could you, personally, ever be friends with a person of sound mind and judgment who tried to kill you?

A person cannot point a gun at you when you have both arms around him.
~Mohandas Gandhi

He sure as hell can stab the crap out of you though.

We must become the change we want to see in the world.
~Mohandas Gandhi

Think about the Christmas truce soccer game between the Allies and Germans during WWI. That was a setting in which people who were trying to kill each other got together and played a game.

The killing wasn't personal there. And that's why friendship was possible. Aside from war, I could imagine people who had dueled but both survived could be friends afterwards if forgiveness is offered or honor restored.

Most people who try to kill another don't know each other very well thus they don't know what they actually have in common.

Think about this

If you take two men who have tried to kill each other and stick them together in solitary confinement, (two separate cells next to each other) where they only have each other to talk to and communicate with, they will find out how much they actually have in common and theoretically could become very good friends.

After a period of a few months, you could stick these same two people in the same cell and the likeliness of the desire to kill each other would have almost dissipated if not completely.

When you take enemies and allow them to talk without any outside influences, pressures or prejudices they begin to tear down the walls of separation and it's not too long and they'll wonder why they were ever enemies in the first place.

I don't see self preservation as an honorable trait in humankind because we are only trying to preserve something that is of the physical world and cannot be preserved. The less we are aware of our spiritual essence, the more we will lean towards self preservation because our self is known to us as our body and the things we have. We should have big jars where we can put dead bodies in and fill them with formaldehyde or pickling juice and then we can call it self preservation. If the jars are big enough we could include jewelry, money, cars, homes and all those silly things we humans place our identity within.

Aedes,

That's an interesting point about the Christmas truce. The sad part is that even after the truce had ended, some kids had insisted on keeping the truce up... and were subsequently shot. What's interesting is that even after the war, the veterans associations in England and Germany remained very close up until the second world war. The associations even went as far as proposing a type of unilateral peacekeeping force before the second war broke out which was given a very serious consideration. If you are interested in that kind of thing, I read a book called "the lion and the poppy" some years ago that covered the British veterans association in great detail. Very interesting read.

Justin,

So it would seem, but crime statistics show the darker side of relationships. In fact, the only times I've ever felt like taking the knife from the side of the bed and inflicting a stab is next to a lover. (oops, did I just say that?) Every crime has a motive, and often times it's personal business.

And if the 2 men were disagreeable, and prone to loss of self control, they would probably go out gladiator style.

I do agree that self-preservation is a vain endeavor. I believe, maybe not in spirituality, but in a meaning and purpose within the lives of modern day individuals that has been lost, be it to family or any broad category of psychological desires. We have older women and men alike running to plastic surgeons and getting botox treatments and lifts along with the million and one products to reduce signs of aging. This is surely the indication of a deeper struggle to maintain appearance- possibly because on the inside they are hollow?

For the op,
Yes, armed at all times.