@damavava,
"When it was over, all I could think about was how this entire notion of oneself, what we are, is just this logical structure, a place to momentarily house all the abstractions. It was a time to become conscious, to give form and coherence to the mystery, and I had been a part of that. It was a gift. Life was raging all around me and every moment was magical. I loved all the people, dealing with all the contradictory impulses - that's what I loved the most, connecting with the people. Looking back, that's all that really mattered."
"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."
"It's like you come onto this planet with a crayon box. Now, you may get the 8-pak, or you may get the 16-pak, but it's all in what you do with the crayons--the colors-- that you're given. Now don't worry about coloring inside the lines or outside the lines. I say, color outside the lines! Color right off the page! Don't box me in."
those are all great quotes from the movie "Waking Life" which as of right now in my opinion have very little to do with your post but i still felt like it was necessary to post for some reason
I think physically the entire sequence of events, the entire array of time, is already predetermined. Effluxion of time and freewill are illusion and are of finite magnitude. The absolute must express these qualities so we can absorb even more qualities and ultimately reach complete self-realization. If your going through conflict you are learning, look at your enemies as lessons, because that is all they are- obstacles.
Fear is there for you to overcome, find opposition in your life.
Conflict condenses and releases energy from mass and you in turn absorb it and become it and it effects your entire reality from that point on.
This entire process is apart of becoming whole and self-realized.