Study-Buddy

Get Email Updates Email this Topic Print this Page

Reply Wed 26 May, 2010 08:05 pm
You know we have the option to ask for a friendship and closer recognised relationship with another member here.

What is a forum friend?

If you have or want one why do you want or have one?
If you have or want a forum friend what do you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

What can you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

What should you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

What could you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

What would you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

Can you expect anything for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

What are the practicalities of you having a forum friend? Them having you?
What (if any) are the impracticalities of having a forum friend? Them having you?

I'm going slowly blind so I like that at the bottom of the forum where the names of the logged on members are, there is a little cross next to the names of those who have taken the time to care more for me or asked me to care more for them.

I think we are all friends because we are all working with similar interest, we all have the forum in common,
but what extras does the friend option bring you? extras you can give?

Do you rate a member by the friends they have? Are you able to better rate or be rated?

What was it that made you want to feel closer to someone, want them to feel closer to you?

Are you more defensive of your friends or more critical?

What is the importance of this acceptance to or for you or to or for them?

What is a forum friend and why don't, wont, cant YOU ask for one?

In case you are yet to make one let me just say you have a friend in me even if we never make it official.

*This is a friendly enquiry so please keep it decent and practical*
 
mark noble
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2010 12:44 pm
@sometime sun,
Hi Sun,

We are, indeed, linked to each other (forumwise). It is a social-circle we each chose to participate in. Here we develop links - some favourable, some not so - Those we share common thoughts, outlooks and ideas with will tend to become more friendly than others.
I don't think that between us all we will solve any of life's great mysteries, but I do believe we can enlighten and be enlightened in a positive and fruitious manner.
And if not - Nothing is lost?

Shine on, Sun.

Mark...
 
sometime sun
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2010 02:48 pm
@mark noble,
mark noble;170906 wrote:
Hi Sun,

We are, indeed, linked to each other (forumwise). It is a social-circle we each chose to participate in. Here we develop links - some favourable, some not so - Those we share common thoughts, outlooks and ideas with will tend to become more friendly than others.
I don't think that between us all we will solve any of life's great mysteries, but I do believe we can enlighten and be enlightened in a positive and fruitious manner.
And if not - Nothing is lost?

Shine on, Sun.

Mark...

Oh I do, I believe that collectively consciously we can do away with all the mysteries, secrets, delusions and lies. But only as a group effort, else there will always be someone on the outside who will be kept in the dark and not shown the light.

Nothing lost as long as not stolen
 
Reconstructo
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2010 02:57 pm
@sometime sun,
sometime sun;169357 wrote:
You know we have the option to ask for a friendship and closer recognised relationship with another member here.

What is a forum friend?

If you have or want one why do you want or have one?
If you have or want a forum friend what do you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

In my mind, all the good conversation is friendship in action. To formalize this is just to trade those gestures that encourage trust and openness.

To me the essence of friendship generally is an explicit or implicit recognition that each respects the other generally, as a person, as a unique individual. There is no friendship without a true openness to the other. If one has nothing to learn from or no curiosity in the Other, then one is not and cannot be a friend. I expect and give respect to friends. It's that simple. If one disagrees on an issue, one does not show and should not feel contempt. Contempt for others is poison and blindness. I'm no saint. Unkindness and contempt shown toward me is going to make it challenge, but you get my drift. There is an ethic that "transcends" opinion involved. The other is sacred. The other is not just an ear. Of course if one can't open one's self to the other, then this too is a failure of friendship. We should LISTEN, LEAN IN to the other, no matter how passionate we are about our own concepts. Concepts aren't everything, and I know what it's like to forget that.
 
kennethamy
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2010 03:00 pm
@sometime sun,
sometime sun;169357 wrote:
You know we have the option to ask for a friendship and closer recognised relationship with another member here.

What is a forum friend?

If you have or want one why do you want or have one?
If you have or want a forum friend what do you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

What can you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

What should you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

What could you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

What would you expect for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

Can you expect anything for, of or from them and for, of or from yourself?

What are the practicalities of you having a forum friend? Them having you?
What (if any) are the impracticalities of having a forum friend? Them having you?

I'm going slowly blind so I like that at the bottom of the forum where the names of the logged on members are, there is a little cross next to the names of those who have taken the time to care more for me or asked me to care more for them.

I think we are all friends because we are all working with similar interest, we all have the forum in common,
but what extras does the friend option bring you? extras you can give?

Do you rate a member by the friends they have? Are you able to better rate or be rated?

What was it that made you want to feel closer to someone, want them to feel closer to you?

Are you more defensive of your friends or more critical?

What is the importance of this acceptance to or for you or to or for them?

What is a forum friend and why don't, wont, cant YOU ask for one?

In case you are yet to make one let me just say you have a friend in me even if we never make it official.

*This is a friendly enquiry so please keep it decent and practical*


Now that's a good question. I have been puzzled about this friendship business. Suppose that X is Y's friend. Fine. What besides his declaring he is Y's friend does it mean? It seems quite empty to me. It is like Obama's declaring that he takes responsibility for this or that (e.g. the oil spill). What, over and above his saying, "I take responsibility" does it mean? Nothing, so far as I can tell.
 
Reconstructo
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2010 03:04 pm
@sometime sun,
sometime sun;170938 wrote:
Oh I do, I believe that collectively consciously we can do away with all the mysteries, secrets, delusions and lies. But only as a group effort, else there will always be someone on the outside who will be kept in the dark and not shown the light.

Nothing lost as long as not stolen


Sometimes I feel a little of my light stolen. But perhaps this is a tax one pays on joy. When one offers a hand and that hand is spit on...but such is life. Those in the outer dark (teeth gnashing) are choosing that, I think. Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven. That sort of thing. I suspect that a general brightness will be contagious but also that we will always have our trolls. There's just a tendency in the human soul to idolize one's self. I vote that we become conscious of it so as to be free of it. Confess our sins and all that jazz. We can all confess the age old philosophical itch to play the guru, the master, the Truth Incarnate...isn't this what makes us condescend and negate one another? We can't admit that we crave mastery, admiration, so we compulsively show this w/o realizing how naked it is, how naked we all are to an open eye. but i'm just playing the guru wise guy here. Forgive your brother in foolosophy!

---------- Post added 05-30-2010 at 04:12 PM ----------

sometime sun;169357 wrote:

Do you rate a member by the friends they have? Are you able to better rate or be rated?

What was it that made you want to feel closer to someone, want them to feel closer to you?

I always respect those who are affectionate or at least respectful of other members. I might take biographical note of a friendless profile, but that's usually just a new member, sometimes a secretive hermit member, and sometimes a troll. I look to life and not the letter. Who has the guts to embrace those who don't always agree? Who is secure enough in their own position to embrace the variety here. To mention only one thing, a man or woman can only read so many books, study so many areas. So please please please share your enthusiasm, I say. Give me those details, those quotes, those hand picket nuggets of your idiosyncratic journey.

I am drawn to the bright and the kind. Some may draw my mind more and others my heart, but the two are a unity in the end. I think we are all here for that even if our desire is tangled in the usual human vanity.
 
kennethamy
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2010 03:12 pm
@Reconstructo,
Reconstructo;170947 wrote:
Sometimes I feel a little of my light stolen. But perhaps this is a tax one pays on joy. When one offers a hand and that hand is spit on...but such is life. Those in the outer dark (teeth gnashing) are choosing that, I think. Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven. That sort of thing. I suspect that a general brightness will be contagious but also that we will always have our trolls. There's just a tendency in the human soul to idolize one's self. I vote that we become conscious of it so as to be free of it. Confess our sins and all that jazz. We can all confess the age old philosophical itch to play the guru, the master, the Truth Incarnate...isn't this what makes us condescend and negate one another? We can't admit that we crave mastery, admiration, so we compulsively show this w/o realizing how naked it is, how naked we all are to an open eye. but i'm just playing the guru wise guy here. Forgive your brother in foolosophy!


Res ipsa loquitur. [The thing (in this case, the post) speaks for itself].
 
sometime sun
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2010 03:24 pm
@Reconstructo,
Reconstructo;170944 wrote:
In my mind, all the good conversation is friendship in action. To formalize this is just to trade those gestures that encourage trust and openness.

To me the essence of friendship generally is an explicit or implicit recognition that each respects the other generally, as a person, as a unique individual. There is no friendship without a true openness to the other. If one has nothing to learn from or no curiosity in the Other, then one is not and cannot be a friend. I expect and give respect to friends. It's that simple. If one disagrees on an issue, one does not show and should not feel contempt. Contempt for others is poison and blindness. I'm no saint. Unkindness and contempt shown toward me is going to make it challenge, but you get my drift. There is an ethic that "transcends" opinion involved. The other is sacred. The other is not just an ear. Of course if one can't open one's self to the other, then this too is a failure of friendship. We should LISTEN, LEAN IN to the other, no matter how passionate we are about our own concepts. Concepts aren't everything, and I know what it's like to forget that.

I think friendship is in essence commonality of appreciations, ethic (work or otherwise), goals, trials, and a few more commonalities.
I think whether we like it or not every member of this forum are friends as we have the forum in common, we have philosophy in common, we have computers in common.
Friendship is predominantly professionally or interest based for me.
Friends should have a hobby in common, friends should be of use and compatriotism, they share an estate be it land or thought.
We all have our degrees of professionalism, dedication, compliance and application but I think we are all seekers of wisdom, truth, Sophia, we all have this is in common, we are all friends here as long as we do not try to destroy or evict.
Friends will never leave you with nothing they must at least if trying to convict you show there is an alternative to difference.
It is a bully who tells you are wrong and shows you no right,
It is a friend who shows you are wrong and gives you a new right.
 
Reconstructo
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2010 03:37 pm
@sometime sun,
sometime sun;170957 wrote:

Friendship is predominantly professionally or interest based for me.
Friends should have a hobby in common, friends should be of use and compatriotism, they share an estate be it land or thought.
.

I agree completely. Friendship is spiritual, really. Friendship is the real "church." All of my great friendships have always been about the Ideal, one that we each saw thru different imperfect windows. And we worked together to enhance one another's vision. And just the sharing of one's history.

I like to read. And I like to drop a name. But I especially like those who can present their influences in their own words. Because you see what it is for them, and see that they HAVE it and are not just dropping names. And I don't care how much they have read if they have THOUGHT and FELT. My best friends in the real world do not read much. How strange! And yet we click. I utterly respect and love their minds. They are beautiful. Books are not of the essence. But a shared Ideal is. Smile
 
sometime sun
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2010 03:39 pm
@kennethamy,
kennethamy;170945 wrote:
Now that's a good question. I have been puzzled about this friendship business. Suppose that X is Y's friend. Fine. What besides his declaring he is Y's friend does it mean? It seems quite empty to me. It is like Obama's declaring that he takes responsibility for this or that (e.g. the oil spill). What, over and above his saying, "I take responsibility" does it mean? Nothing, so far as I can tell.

A friend will apply his self to the common goal of cleaning up the mess which is the greater and common good of all.
But you are correct that Obama may not be being a friend by taking responsibility for the mess as friends no matter how brilliant one may be are always on equal terms.
What is the orderer of commonality?
Who chooses the book you will write or read?
This is called 'master' or 'commander' I think, a President cannot be your friend, I think this would be contrary to what friendship is,
It would be termed Eros before friendship as Eros can often be more predominant and one sided or better still Charity is a more likely candidate for the love given by a leader.
I am unsure what of the loves one could attribute to a 'master', affection does not seem to do justice and yet at the same time is to much.
I suppose there may be a fifth love after all called respect?
 
Reconstructo
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2010 03:41 pm
@sometime sun,
sometime sun;170957 wrote:

Friends will never leave you with nothing they must at least if trying to convict you show there is an alternative to difference.
It is a bully who tells you are wrong and shows you no right,
It is a friend who shows you are wrong and gives you a new right.


Ah yes! Because we can generally tell when someone is speaking from love or contempt. Humans are geniuses of emotion, because emotion is primary to thought. Make a case from love, if you think your friend could be happier. But o course one should admit that oneself could be the blind one. To me, wisdom is happiness. Knowledge might put a gun to its head, but Wisdom is smiling with gratitude. That;s the elephant in the room part 455. What is proof? What is it to be wrong? If one is happy and kind, where is the error? What's the point of our abstractions if not happiness and gratitude? The nasty are their own refutation.
 
sometime sun
 
Reply Mon 31 May, 2010 04:45 pm
@Reconstructo,
Reconstructo;170947 wrote:

Who has the guts to embrace those who don't always agree? Who is secure enough in their own position to embrace the variety here. To mention only one thing, a man or woman can only read so many books, study so many areas. So please please please share your enthusiasm, I say. Give me those details, those quotes, those hand picket nuggets of your idiosyncratic journey.

I am drawn to the bright and the kind. Some may draw my mind more and others my heart, but the two are a unity in the end. I think we are all here for that even if our desire is tangled in the usual human vanity.

I am in complete agreement.
Being kind and nice costs nothing and pays everything.
There was a time where I went ot and bought a book of classical insults to better armour myself so I could be witty but detached at the same time.
Doesn't work, I cant don't and wont work that way. I do however feel genuinely sad when my affection (not necessarily friendship) is not recognised.
Do you feel more at ease being kind or kinder to those whom you can call or rate as friend?
Because learning quickly people are actually going to disrespect or discount me more for my broad strokes of affection, I am trying to actually limit it or vent it more to those on my friend list.
Because although as said I regard us all as friends those who have taken the time and conscious effort and risk to ask and appeal to me for my name in their profile are those I can be as descriptively affectionate as possible with.
So the friendship recognition does do more for me because it gives me
warrant to be familiar with them.
The saddest thing is when I think I have displeased one of my current friends, this gets to me because I have allowed the idea of them being close nearer to my heart.
And inevitably with this added closeness I feel even more regretful when I cant always follow their work as closely as I would like.
I can really feel like a bad friend at times.
Which is why I cannot allow myself ever to ask anyone for their friendship because I really think it is an honour and i just know I am liable to fail them.
But this does not mean ever I have the right to turn any one down for their gift of an added closeness with them.
Who wants to turn away love right?
Just a shame I cant ask for it.

---------- Post added 05-31-2010 at 11:56 PM ----------

Reconstructo;170965 wrote:
I agree completely. Friendship is spiritual, really. Friendship is the real "church." All of my great friendships have always been about the Ideal, one that we each saw thru different imperfect windows. And we worked together to enhance one another's vision. And just the sharing of one's history.

I like to read. And I like to drop a name. But I especially like those who can present their influences in their own words. Because you see what it is for them, and see that they HAVE it and are not just dropping names. And I don't care how much they have read if they have THOUGHT and FELT. My best friends in the real world do not read much. How strange! And yet we click. I utterly respect and love their minds. They are beautiful. Books are not of the essence. But a shared Ideal is. Smile

I have nothing to add to this but that I absolutely agree, I was going to say religion but you said 'church' and this is even better.
I also would prefer to hear their interpretations and words and expressionisms.
Something to be said about CHARACTER, me thinks.

---------- Post added 05-31-2010 at 11:59 PM ----------

Reconstructo;170969 wrote:
Ah yes! Because we can generally tell when someone is speaking from love or contempt. Humans are geniuses of emotion, because emotion is primary to thought. Make a case from love, if you think your friend could be happier. But o course one should admit that oneself could be the blind one. To me, wisdom is happiness. Knowledge might put a gun to its head, but Wisdom is smiling with gratitude. That;s the elephant in the room part 455. What is proof? What is it to be wrong? If one is happy and kind, where is the error? What's the point of our abstractions if not happiness and gratitude? The nasty are their own refutation.

Yes wisdom does not know how not to keep on smiling.
 
 

 
Copyright © 2022 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.02 seconds on 08/16/2022 at 09:19:59