Basic Instinct 5: Who do you trust?

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Reply Tue 4 May, 2010 04:35 pm
So, who do you trust? I have it all figured it out: there are two words that are sure-fire sign that the person speaking to you is not to be trusted.

Those two magic words?

Trust me.
 
sometime sun
 
Reply Tue 4 May, 2010 04:40 pm
@platorepublic,
Useless cliche, got to in life trust someone other than yourself, and at least those who ask you to want your trust.
And of course this does not mean you have to, but to discount them for their request is useless.
 
mister kitten
 
Reply Tue 4 May, 2010 04:44 pm
@platorepublic,
Trust your cat or your cow, but don't trust both.
 
sometime sun
 
Reply Tue 4 May, 2010 04:48 pm
@mister kitten,
It is like saying 'no good deed goes unpunished' useless and empty cliche.

---------- Post added 05-05-2010 at 12:15 AM ----------

Think of it like this, statisically you are more likely to be able to trust someone who asks you to than trust someone who has never asked you to.
Someone who is part of your life and wants to be rather than a stranger or driffter.
 
Pyrrho
 
Reply Tue 4 May, 2010 07:08 pm
@platorepublic,
platorepublic;160137 wrote:
So, who do you trust? I have it all figured it out: there are two words that are sure-fire sign that the person speaking to you is not to be trusted.

Those two magic words?

Trust me.



Although it is common for dishonest people to utter the words, "trust me", it is not an absolute indicator.

To answer your initial question, I trust those who I have known to be trustworthy. As most people do not like to take the time necessary to find out who is trustworthy and who is not, they often seek shortcuts. Some things require time to find out, and taking shortcuts leads to error. Of course, one can know immediately that someone is not trustworthy if the first thing one observes of the person is that person being untrustworthy in some way, but generally it takes time for such things to be revealed in behavior. This is because most people say things that are true, or are believed true, much of the time, and so observing a few truths uttered by someone does not distinguish that person from others. A liar is not someone who only tells lies, or even mostly lies. An honest person, though, is one who always or almost always (depending on how honest we are talking about) tells the truth. So it always takes time to have enough information to reasonably judge a person to be honest.

Of course, not trusting someone is not the same as treating a person rudely, so one may not reveal that one does not trust someone to that someone. I generally do not call the liars I encounter "liars" to their faces, as there is usually little point in doing so, and often there is a motive to not do so.
 
platorepublic
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 04:35 am
@Pyrrho,
Pyrrho;160178 wrote:
Although it is common for dishonest people to utter the words, "trust me", it is not an absolute indicator.

To answer your initial question, I trust those who I have known to be trustworthy. As most people do not like to take the time necessary to find out who is trustworthy and who is not, they often seek shortcuts. Some things require time to find out, and taking shortcuts leads to error. Of course, one can know immediately that someone is not trustworthy if the first thing one observes of the person is that person being untrustworthy in some way, but generally it takes time for such things to be revealed in behavior. This is because most people say things that are true, or are believed true, much of the time, and so observing a few truths uttered by someone does not distinguish that person from others. A liar is not someone who only tells lies, or even mostly lies. An honest person, though, is one who always or almost always (depending on how honest we are talking about) tells the truth. So it always takes time to have enough information to reasonably judge a person to be honest.

Of course, not trusting someone is not the same as treating a person rudely, so one may not reveal that one does not trust someone to that someone. I generally do not call the liars I encounter "liars" to their faces, as there is usually little point in doing so, and often there is a motive to not do so.

Oh I wasn't being serious about it: trust me.

Trust is definitely not something that I encounter every day. Just like integrity, it is only when it is lost, that it affects you.
 
sometime sun
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 11:13 am
@platorepublic,
platorepublic;160273 wrote:
Oh I wasn't being serious about it: trust me.

Trust is definitely not something that I encounter every day. Just like integrity, it is only when it is lost, that it affects you.

But not entirely being trustworthy and trusting affects your very nature and how open you are to lifes experiences.
Distrusting and untrustworhty people experience less of what life has to be earned and on offer.
Some things in life are free dont not take them because you think interest may have to paid on it some day.
 
platorepublic
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 11:16 am
@sometime sun,
sometime sun;160452 wrote:
But not entirely being trustworthy and trusting affects your very nature and how open you are to lifes experiences.
Distrusting and untrustworhty people experience less of what life has to be earned and on offer.
Some things in life are free dont not take them because you think interest may have to paid on it some day.

Perhaps experiencing less is better?

But I just don't see trust as a factor I use to judge people in general. I trust everyone to some extent. But I do use trust as a factor on the most important people in my life.
 
sometime sun
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 11:58 am
@platorepublic,
platorepublic;160453 wrote:
Perhaps experiencing less is better?

But I just don't see trust as a factor I use to judge people in general. I trust everyone to some extent. But I do use trust as a factor on the most important people in my life.

Your trust is discriminatory?

Discrimination need not be a bad thing?

Could be onto something here, trust in truth is just the level of discrimination one aplies to people.
 
Pepijn Sweep
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 01:29 pm
@sometime sun,
Anima XXX !:bigsmile:
 
platorepublic
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 02:08 pm
@Pepijn Sweep,
Pepijn Sweep;160550 wrote:
Anima XXX !:bigsmile:


Lol. Okay... who doesn't trust that s.
 
Pyrrho
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 02:18 pm
@sometime sun,
sometime sun;160452 wrote:
But not entirely being trustworthy and trusting affects your very nature and how open you are to lifes experiences.



Being untrustworthy is entirely different from being untrusting. Being untrustworthy means that one is dishonest in some way, but being untrusting has to do with one's attitude toward others. Most likely, one trusts some people more than others, and trusts people to do certain kinds of things more than others.


sometime sun;160452 wrote:
Distrusting and untrustworhty people experience less of what life has to be earned and on offer.
Some things in life are free dont not take them because you think interest may have to paid on it some day.



Distrusting people often experience being a sucker less often than people who are too trusting, yet you state it as if that were a bad thing. Untrustworthy people are never trusted much by people of integrity and intelligence, and that is something worthwhile that is missed.

Of course, one can be too untrusting, as one may not trust people one has reason to trust. One should trust the right amount, which is in proportion to the evidence one has. Some people, of course, are better judges of character than others, and those people will have a much better time of things than those who are poor at judging character.

When meeting a new person, that person could be the most trustworthy person in the world, or the least trustworthy, or (more likely) somewhere in between. One should be open to all of the possibilities, and act in accordance with the fact that one cannot know prior to obtaining evidence. And this typically means that one ought not trust the person with whatever is most important to one, but one also ought not condemn the person as untrustworthy either.
 
Jebediah
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 02:22 pm
@platorepublic,
I remember reading that people are more cynical than the should be about how trustworthy other people are. That they usually underestimate how many people are trustworthy. I don't know the statistics they used to figure that though.
 
Pepijn Sweep
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 02:51 pm
@Jebediah,
Jebediah;160578 wrote:
I remember reading that people are more cynical than the should be about how trustworthy other people are. That they usually underestimate how many people are trustworthy. I don't know the statistics they used to figure that though.


This is Trustworthy, but No Info.....>

Trust me Not:sarcastic:
PS
 
platorepublic
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 02:51 pm
@Jebediah,
Jebediah;160578 wrote:
I remember reading that people are more cynical than the should be about how trustworthy other people are. That they usually underestimate how many people are trustworthy. I don't know the statistics they used to figure that though.


It's oxytocin that makes people trust others - some biochemistry for you. It's inevitable for us to give sympathy and trust to others in certain situations. That's how con artists and scammers work (they are the 2% of the population that have absolutely no compassion and sympathy for others) - they take advantage of your trust.
 
mister kitten
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 03:24 pm
@platorepublic,
Myself, mom, grandma, and a few friends.
 
wayne
 
Reply Wed 5 May, 2010 03:40 pm
@platorepublic,
Along with trust goes expectation. We need be very clear about our expectations when dealing with other people.
It is easy to expect something without making our expectations clear to the other person. This is not fair to others, and is merely setting ourselves up for a big let down.
Much of the time we become jaded and untrusting due to a failure on our own part.
 
 

 
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