My mother used to work with the mentally handicapped, thanks to her work as a "recreational therapist." (Job is fizzled out, now) But back then she would befriend, and even dates one still to this day (cerebral palsy), many different shades of people. It is almost natural to devalue them, and dehumanize them on some level precisely because of their identity. It's like a mental racism we all take for granted, because it is so rare their conditions.

I would be like an armchair president to judge you on your perceived guilty conscience - only to say, I probably would have done the same thing in your position, and at least you are wise enough to realize it.

I work at a similar job, in a treatment center for addiction. You have a very mature outlook on the whole deal of life as I see it. It's a process, never perfection. I fall and then get back on the horse, hopefully becoming a better rider each time.

How perseptive to understand the link to our conciousness of self.
I think devotion to personal growth sets people apart from the masses.
So few seem to care about that.

Since you hate your job, why don't you look for another line of work?

I fear you misunderstood my post. I find my work frustrating and at the same time easy to slip outside the bounds of good work ethic. It's easy to neglect the autonomy of a human being that I work with because of her limited mental capabilities. I do hate my job for these reasons, but it teaches me something about myself and the world, as you can see in my post above.

But you are again saying that you hate your job. Granted, you say that you learned something, but if you have learned from it, perhaps it is time to move on to another line of work. Why spend your life doing something you hate doing, unless you have no other choice? Why not look for something else? You might learn something new from a new job.

I'm not spending my life doing it. I'm a full time student as well, and when time comes to graduate, I'll move on to graduate school and eventually teaching. that's the plan at least. all of this is irrelevant to my post, and I still feel that you've missed my point. Probably my fault for not writing clearly enough.