What do you look in a relationship partner/lover/bf/gf?

@platorepublic,

I think you are lucky if you find the one who knows the true nature of love. I do not think many are ever that blessed in a lifetime.
The secret is total and utter commitment to the other persons happiness.

But that is only half the story. It is a prisoners dilemma. Because it is imperative that both partners feel exactly the same about this. Because if not, if you are the giver and the other a taker you end up drained of your lifeblood.

Reality is usually far from this theoretical optimum situation. Most people have agendas of their own and carry lots of luggage with them. That will cloud issues, make seeing the truth difficult.
Most people can not give all of themselves without reservation because they are afraid of losing control.

For the rest, at the more basic level the normal rules apply. If you could not be friends with your prospective partner you will find common ground will run out in a hurry.

@sarek,

Romantic love is one of those things that evades me. I have met some wonderful women with great personalities and some nice physical characteristics and I have got on with them really well, I just never commit to a proper relationship. Perhaps I am too cynical, perhaps I am rationalising failure where there may well be success. There is one girl in my mind that jabs my memory and heart in a profound manner, and how I wish I never left her go. Loneliness can be miserable at times but this loneliness has allowed me to have some of my greatest epiphanies about myself. Learn about yourself and experience this world before you make a decision.

Some of us are in no rush to make commitments or feel unable to do so ;-) Look for moral nobility, keenness to better oneself, kindness, passion and aesthetic appeal. This does not mean she the perfect blend of saint and super model but means she is fundamentally a person you can admire, a beauty of both emotional and physical depth. Personalities have to be cohesive or productive - conflict is healthy if mature and thoughtful etiquette is observed. If you make each other feel good, synthesis is there to some degree.

Do not rush yourself, and enjoy life as a bachelor.

- Minimal.

@Minimal,

After 40 years of marriage tolerance of each others failings is our formula for success, if years count, so to speak. Correcting each others excesses helps.

@Khethil,

I want someone to show me truth and beauty and kindness all of which would be surprising.
I want someone to surprise me.

@platorepublic,

I'm only 20. The only thing I need to something to brag about and good sex. Pluses involve not being too annoying, or taking too much of my time, requiring me to look nice all the time, having me visit her family/friends, spending money on her and what not.

@Emil,

Yes someone who knows how to kiss would be great also.
Someone who is passionate about me and someone who i am passionate about.
Passion.
A healer but also someone who can wound.
A hearts worth nothing if it cant be broken.

@platorepublic,

lol Emil

If someone is attractive enough to necessitate no-no activities, and smart enough to understand themselves and me, at least for the most part, or has the potential to do so (my guess), and all the right feelings are there of course (love, etc) then we are a go for launch.

I know that sounds unromantic, but I save any cute stuff for the lady in question Wink

.

@bmcreider,

bmcreider;151822 wrote:

lol Emil

If someone is attractive enough to necessitate no-no activities, and smart enough to understand themselves and me, at least for the most part, or has the potential to do so (my guess), and all the right feelings are there of course (love, etc) then we are a go for launch.

I know that sounds unromantic, but I save any cute stuff for the lady in question .

I rather avoid romance in my future relationships, at least until I am sure that I have found a suited individual. It is very hard thinking on drugs, thinking without being on drugs (hormones) is already hard enough and most people fail at it.

Also, they must not be fat. I can't take it.

@Emil,

Emil;151825 wrote:

I rather avoid romance in my future relationships, at least until I am sure that I have found a suited individual. It is very hard thinking on drugs, thinking without being on drugs (hormones) is already hard enough and most people fail at it.

Also, they must not be fat. I can't take it.

Of course they can't be fat... lol

@platorepublic,

platorepublic;152000 wrote:

Of course they can't be fat... lol

Some people presumably do not have a big problem with their mate being fat or overweight. I can't stand it.

@platorepublic,

1. I can't have a lover if I don't love myself.
2. I can't have a lover if the 'lover' does not love herself.

In high school I can't find many who fit the second requirement.
If the the first requirement is not met, then I can't possibly find someone to love.

A girl, I'm her admirer. Not a secret if I type it here.
The girl makes me sink-I'm not in water when she does.
I can barely mutter some incomprehensible jibberish when I try to talk or respond to her.
She ate my brain as if it were candy. She's a vegan. I liked it.
No one is above her wonderful excellence.
If there every was an innate good she has it.

@mister kitten,

mister kitten;152128 wrote:

1. I can't have a lover if I don't love myself.
2. I can't have a lover if the 'lover' does not love herself.

In high school I can't find many who fit the second requirement.
If the the first requirement is not met, then I can't possibly find someone to love.

A girl, I'm her admirer. Not a secret if I type it here.
The girl makes me sink-I'm not in water when she does.
I can barely mutter some incomprehensible jibberish when I try to talk or respond to her.
She ate my brain as if it were candy. She's a vegan. I liked it.
No one is above her wonderful excellence.
If there every was an innate good she has it.

Everyone loves themselves to some extent. But to what extent?

Some people could love themselves so much that they feel it's much better to be single forever.

@platorepublic,

No, not everyone loves his or her own self.

@platorepublic,

i look from the one that fulfills me

@Wisdom Seeker,

Wisdom Seeker;152462 wrote:

i look from the one that fulfills me

Do you fulfill yourself? Does your mother fulfill you?

@platorepublic,

platorepublic;152909 wrote:

Do you fulfill yourself? Does your mother fulfill you?

fulfill on what lacks me,

@Wisdom Seeker,

Wisdom Seeker;152923 wrote:

fulfill on what lacks me,

What do you lack? Can you not improve yourself by yourself?

@platorepublic,

platorepublic;152926 wrote:

What do you lack? Can you not improve yourself by yourself?

how can you make it yourself if what you need is from the other?

just like a love from your lover, you just can't imagine that you have a lover , because you can't feel it,
you need to make it real.

@Wisdom Seeker,

Wisdom Seeker;152928 wrote:

how can you make it yourself if what you need is from the other?

just like a love from your lover, you just can't imagine that you have a lover , because you can't feel it,
you need to make it real.

Lol that sounds so weak.

@platorepublic,

platorepublic;152945 wrote:

Lol that sounds so weak.

sounds weak but true

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What do you look in a relationship partner/lover/bf/gf?

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