I don't know exactly where to post this, maybe ethics? But I will post it here in full knowing it may well be moved.

I don't know exactly where to post this, maybe ethics? But I will post it here in full knowing it may well be moved.

Am I the only one that seems to be too nice, probably because of my "philosophical" and thus "moral" analyzing and self judging I make of myself quite often? I would surely hope I am not the only one here who seems to be too nice at times, seeming to overcompensate for wrongs I think I have committed, or maybe overapplying the Golden Rule, etc...

This strange optimism disappointments me more often than not. My car was wrecked nearly 4 months ago, my body shop has yet to fix it although the owner got payment, and because I remind myself all the time that I once was late on paying him money, and he'll tell me about his best friend's recent death, I can't bring myself to try to objectively present my aesthetic damage to my car as more important.

But, I think that others pick up on this innately, because it's probably obvious. Therefore I think I get taken advantage of, because although sometimes karma takes hold, it seems others I was clearly taken advantage of and was only being ignorant to let it happen. Such as my previous boss, whom yelled at me the most, paid me 6 weeks late for 9 months, and got me to fix his cars and computers and have yet to be paid.

Anyone else put themselves in these positions, or have any advice for me to not feel "guilty" or "hypocritical" but not get "taken advantage of"?

Let them take advantage as long as they dont take everything and even this one should be willing to give.

I hate the addage, 'no good deed goes unpunished', i prefer no good deed needs rewarding.

Am i too nice?
Not to myself so it actually means something.

When it comes to business you should expect what you pay for otherwise you are actually being a bad customer.
Know your rights, they may just be nicer to the next person if you have pressed on them a work ethic.

If you follow my advice, you will probably feel better about yourself in the long run, and you will also be helping to make the world a better place. What could be better than that?

Let them take advantage as long as they dont take everything and even this one should be willing to give.

I hate the addage, 'no good deed goes unpunished', i prefer no good deed needs rewarding.

Am i too nice?
Not to myself so it actually means something.

When it comes to business you should expect what you pay for otherwise you are actually being a bad customer.
Know your rights, they may just be nicer to the next person if you have pressed on them a work ethic. [emphasis added]

I don't know exactly where to post this, maybe ethics? But I will post it here in full knowing it may well be moved.

Am I the only one that seems to be too nice, probably because of my "philosophical" and thus "moral" analyzing and self judging I make of myself quite often? I would surely hope I am not the only one here who seems to be too nice at times, seeming to overcompensate for wrongs I think I have committed, or maybe overapplying the Golden Rule, etc...

This strange optimism disappointments me more often than not. My car was wrecked nearly 4 months ago, my body shop has yet to fix it although the owner got payment, and because I remind myself all the time that I once was late on paying him money, and he'll tell me about his best friend's recent death, I can't bring myself to try to objectively present my aesthetic damage to my car as more important.

But, I think that others pick up on this innately, because it's probably obvious. Therefore I think I get taken advantage of, because although sometimes karma takes hold, it seems others I was clearly taken advantage of and was only being ignorant to let it happen. Such as my previous boss, whom yelled at me the most, paid me 6 weeks late for 9 months, and got me to fix his cars and computers and have yet to be paid.

Anyone else put themselves in these positions, or have any advice for me to not feel "guilty" or "hypocritical" but not get "taken advantage of"?

Is there a difference between being nice and letting others take advantage of you?

...

This I also good advice. The case is not always easy as a stranger has time to read about on a forum, nor I have to write a back story. But this shop, and owner, have helped us before, cutting us breaks on repair bills, repairing accidents without insurance, etc. Only, now, due to his business ethics himself, perhaps, he over-promises and under-delivers. I still have my car, and have yet to take it in, but previously, I would and was stuck in a rental for 2 months - but due to money he'd eventually fix it.

I suppose I try to see the "best" in this scenario, as he has fixed a car on time for me and been paid late in the past - and now, well, you know the story.

I think that is some of the worst advice I have ever read. However, you do not keep to that, and offer much better advice in the end:

The heart should not make promices it should only prove itself.

Nicely said.

Do you think we need to guard our hearts?

In a perfect world no, we learn to guard, so sometimes it is a reflex.
But if you live by my edict which is you have nothing left to lose you can find that the heart is endless.
Your heart my be hurt but you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Does the heart need to be hurt? would be the next question

Does the heart need to be hurt as in a learning experience, or is what you say meant more as an existential question?

My sense is that in order to have an unguarded heart you would have to be very strong, or very cold. Maybe both, and maybe only at times.

All fear is pain, not all pain is fear?
Love is worth much pain, but is pain worth as much love?

I would say that not all pain is fear, and that all fear is pain.

But I don't follow you on the second question. Can you say more about it, especially the second half?

Can we embrace that which we know could or will destroy us? (That might be taking it a little to far)

But then many others say judge not lest ye be judged, and, if I constantly look over my shoulder for exploitation, which I could and do, then do I not fall victim to self-fulfilling prophecies? If you expect people to exploit you, won't they? If you don't, will they?