Envy:
S'alright, a lot of us don't start threads for various reasons. I am also one who is reluctant to start them. But hey we have lots of very morbid and or pessimistic people here, intellectually there is nothing wrong or bad or even offputting about it. Often pessimism rings the most true.

You may find that people here have a light that could shine through in the darkness.
How can you hope to dispell it if you dont expose it? (the hypocrite says)
Alot of the people here will show you their light, some insist upon it.
But you may not nor need to trust the light others have so you will never need to be illuminated by them. The pressure is off. Unless this is what you are looking for.
Dont worry no one is trying to hurt you.
Correct you perhaps, but that just makes everyone a better person.

But i can understand why you wouldn't want to burden others.
But i dont think most would be here either if they weren't willing to carry something for or from you.
No one is trying to hurt you, and if they are, that is not your defect that is theirs.

Be strong, live long.

If it helps at all to know it, I've been horridly depressed for decades, tried suicide a couple of times (seriously, not gestures, don't go in for those), but am still hanging in there grimly. Very grimly at the moment, it must be said, because (I've already mentioned this) I learned a couple of weeks ago that someone I met on the Net who'd been something of an inspiration to me (in spite of his desperation) had blown his own head off, which sort of leaves me wondering if I have any chance, since he had many good qualities I lack; and then a week ago something else happened, apparently trivial, which pushed me into an almost total retreat into silence. So I've been posting either jokily or not all; philosophy seems out of reach right now. But philosophy also still seems essential, and I don't think someone should give up posting altogether because of being in a really depressive phase - perhaps just take it easy for a while, and perhaps post about your dark thoughts, if you can imagine some good coming of it, or if they just seem to contain some truth about the world. Excuse me if I'm just butting in (it can be hard to tell).

If we cant realise what pain contemplation causes, friend, no one can.

Envy - Seems this may be the place where your thoughts may best be shared. Your way of standing up to them?

Lost1

Your not the only one with this DSM diagnoses. First I thought we should meet up at our own Forum, but that would limit our point of view. My experience is that I overreact in manic state and can get very 'dark' as well...

Last years I try to take a break; change what you are doing. Something relaxing at home when I'm manic; some walking activities when I am all locked up.

Hope you take part anyway; I think every perspective is valuable.