First I think that both are taugh, learned, cultural. But the male body probably caused the culture in the first place.

A boy must learn to stand up for himself first, and then to be sensitive and perceptive, etc., later. To be a "man" (which is not just a biological concept) requires that one be capable of war.

Not that he should, but that's what keeps us from slavery. A man will die in certain cases for his honor, his woman, etc. Sometimes ladies like to tease on this, but they don't mean it. No one likes a jerk who starts trouble without good reason. But no one likes a coward, either.

I'm not equating all pacifism with cowardice. Jesus, that famous literary character, didn't strike me as afraid. To abstain from war can also be a fearlessness in the face of death or social humiliation.

I think men should certainly develop the virtues associated with the feminine, but not the vices. And women should do the same.

This is all just my opinion, of course. You ask an interesting question.

I think it's possible to teach men to be more effeminate, though I think hormone therapy would be more effective. But I don't see any reason for men to become less masculine.

I agree that these behaviours are taught or learned, or even developed because of percieved expectations.
From a pyschological point of view, there is some evidence to suggest that male behaviour is more self-destructive than female behaviour, because of the types of socialisation it has gone through. Women are taught to a be the nuturers and to share their problems amongst their peer group, while for a male to do this is sometimes regarded as weak. I suppose this is demonstrated in the male "fight or flight" and the female "tend and befriend".

But for a modern society these behaviours are obsolete. There isn't any longer a need for the male to be the breadwinner and the female the good wife, and the traditional masculine behaviours have fallen out of favour, with men actively being encouraged to adopt more "feminine" behaviours.
For this reason I think mean do require a degree of emasculation, but I don't think this can be bought about through a process of unlearning.

As a guy, I think there is a time and place for everything. When I'm hanging out with guys, I tend to be kinda dominating and less of a softy. I talk about random "guy stuff" like cars and women and whatever, but when im with girls or a girlfriend, im a lot nicer, softer, sensitive, and a little more submissive. I find that i can relate to and understand both men and women pretty well...i also tend to share my deeper feelings more sith a girl than i would a guy. I might share anger or happiness witha guy, but if i was feeling lonely or sad only eith a woman

---------- Post added 02-25-2010 at 06:48 PM ----------

i dont think theres a need to make men more feminine or tone down or anything, and i certainly frown upon hormone therapy as a means of toning down masculinity.:bigsmile: