Not sure sure how (in)appropriate it is, in terms of forum etiquette, to start a new thread having just joined yesterday! :puzzled: Apologies if I breach any social codes...
My mother is a Spanish Catholic (non practicing), my father is an Athiest. Mother tried to encourage a belief in God, my father didn't say much. God and the idea of an afterlife never resonated with me - it just didn't make sense, seemed improbable, impossible bordering on ridiculous. From about age of 8 I started becoming preoccupied with questions of mortality, death, consciousness, existence, infinity (and beyond!). No one seemed able to answer my enquiries, in fact, the answers seemed to differ wildly based on belief systems....confusing me further. Attempting to discuss these issues with my peers, it was evident that they didn't seem to carry this burden, and were quite able to freely play and 'be children' and then 'be teenagers'. There was always a feeling that I didn't fit in, a loneliness and sense of isolation.
Over the years I've been able to find a few others with the same questions, and we could be troubled together. A relief. Now after a lot of inner torment and confusion, I'm 30 and feel very fortunate to have gone down this path. I'm reaching a stage of (fragile and possibly temporary) understanding and acceptance which I could not have reached without this troubled mind of mine; the next phase for me is to explore in more detail the published works of great thinkers.
I crave to hear about other people's journeys.
At what age did you start to ponder? Did this pondering alienate you? Did this awareness bring depression / anxiety / addictions / obsessions or other issues that impeded 'proper social functioning'? Where are you now on your journey? Do you have regrets? And if you could travel back in time for 2 minutes to talk to your younger self, what age would you go back to, and what would you say?
I hope to hear from you