i try to follow my own philosophy of life where psychological constructs of existence within my experiencing do not really have to have so much control over me. some people may call this meta programming?
for me, life is a constant balancing act between everything i am within my skin and all that i experience from outside of my skin!
i try to be self aware of what i am thinking and feeling. i try to understand how it is for me and others. i try to accept my own and others differences, something or someones differences dont have to be understood as an attack, it is just difference. i try to be genuine with myself about myself, humility. trying to be genuine with others in a courteous way is a bit riskier but can really break down barriers. i understand it isnt always easy to get the balance right when considering what is best for myself compared to what is best for others in any given space/time. i try to trust my gut instinct and feelings. sometimes i am priority, sometimes others are priority over me.
this way of living my life has enabled me to de-construct/re-construct certain constructs of evaluating my experiencing in space/time.
the upside to this? empowerment, understanding of personal choice, acceptance of self and acceptance of others for what they are, greater empathy. the difficulties for me is the acute awareness of my genetic and social programming, it is constant work in progress dealing with this but very self full filling when i know i have overcome another hurdle in that which sub-conciously controls me! when i experience others i am regularly aware i am experiencing them in space/time as their programming not their potential! i accept this for what they are with some sadness of heart.
somethings do have to matter, what i have written here matters to me.
most things in general dont quite matter so much anymore!
for me the bottom line is personal choice, genuinely from within. the source of this i do not know how to describe, but i do feel it!
now i am wondering why i wrote this? following the sensation of instinct again! (something outside the realm of human consciousness? maybe?)