@vajrasattva,
For me the search for truth is a tennet of my existence. If I stop looking for it I become emersed in lies. I find myself believeing and practiing what is not truth and so suffering for it.
Truth means good faith or worthy of faith. Just because a man believes that he can swim before he knows he can swim does not make his faith worthy. And because his faith is not worthy he may drown, especialy if his faith is untested and unpracticed.
Because of that searching for truth for me is somewhat like playing russian roulete, in that, sometimes I love it others I hate it. I think, I find, I test, I practice, and then I believe what I found. 90% of the stuff I find in by head is B.S. And fails the test of truth which is the good and worthy aspect of the faith in what I've found.
When I hate it it is because the aspect of truth that I have found is either, not believed by my fellow humans, not believed by me, not somthing that I want to practice myself, or not somthing that I have the courage to live by openly. In other words I hate the truth when it is inconvinient to me. But as as an individual who aspires to wisdom I do my best to practice it anyway. If it is truth that I have found I am all the better for it.
I love the truth when I find that what I have been practicing, thinking, or believeing is indeed truth. I love it even more when the aspect of truth I have to be truth is practiced by my fellow humans, and so can be practiced openly. Because of this external wisdom can be gained from thoes wiser than me. This allows me to grow.
The moments of love are few and far between. This is due to the fact that at the ripe old age of 24 I am indeed unwise. But I hope that someday I can called be a true lover of wisdom (philo-sopher, Lover-wisdom) and so be called wise. But as young, dumb, naive, and foolish to beat myself down, I hate wisdom most of the time and so am not a phillosopher... YET!!!
With that said I remind you of my naivity, not to mention my hard headed and opinionated nature. So don't by all my crap (I KNOW you don't already but... well its crap). And feel free to criticize I need it but please have a heart and do it constructively. I already know I'm and idiot.
Peace love & harmony
P.S. Better an idiot than ignorant
Thanks