I have read a bit of philosophy on my own, and am very fond of the Cynics, Seneca, Nietzsche (Also notable authors Hesse,Goethe, Camus,Huxley), yet I find I'm a bit Existential. I realize I need to develop and organize my arguments to progress myself as I am fermenting in the way of letting my character be decided more by reaction to happenstance than awareness, self reflection and knowing how to correct behaviour to a formulated outcome and way of being. Philosophy grounds a person firmly enough that they may glance outside the window of current thought and surrounding culture into a new avenue, I wish to not be corrupted by current feelings and misgivings. (There is a general sense of bitterness, defeat, distraction, tiredness, nihilism undercoating people in general, which leaves an after taste in my mouth) To most people these days to be a Cynic means to be a deadened and tired misanthrope. Also I find it difficult to voice myself, and I think working on it through this forum will help me greatly.
People decide too much upon who they are through the sufferings they bare, when those sufferings could very easily be avoided as it's joy that matters in ways of emotion, not the heavy feelings. Rationality is undervalued in matters of character (it's not instantly self gratifying?) and smeared by modern day booby traps such as Cell phone contracts and over extended government policies.

I went off topic a bit, and I'm not providing sources, or explainations- my apologies. If I am already contradicting myself on some level, please point it out.

That is all,
thank you.