How have you managed since leaving or getting booted from TF

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Reply Thu 13 Apr, 2006 10:06 pm
How have you managed since leaving or getting booted from TF
I was in the family and a "catacomber" during the late 70's before actually joining in '78. I remained in the family until I was asked to leave in '91. Reason given " I was too opinionated & not submissive. They didn't have time for my problems". LOL! Thank God they didn't have time for what they considered my problems, but today, as a 45 year old woman, mom of 5, and grandmother of 2, I consider those to be my strengths & the redeeming qualities that saved me from the family.
I recently met someone in a parking lot, where else, soliciting donations for their "non-denominational missionary work". She had her 3 children out there begging with her. It brought back many memories. I engaged in a conversation with her & realized I knew her from Seattle in 1979. We had both aged a bit & put on some pounds from the many children we bore, so we didn't recognize one another. Unfortunately, she still had the weird, dazed look in her eyes that most family members have. She still had the idea that "Dad", which by the way doesn't deserve to be called my dad, was right on the money about Christ's return, etc, etc. The point I'm trying to make here is how can folks be so blind to how deceived they have been for all these years. Wasn't Jesus suppose to return way back in 1993.
It's taken me 15 years to recover from the abuses I was subjected to. I don't believe members of the family would even know how to function in regular society. I find it to be pitifully sad. How have you faired since leaving the family & what helped you to recover and adjust to life in the real world.
Lynn Skurtu
 
evanman
 
Reply Fri 14 Apr, 2006 07:00 am
Some of us have never fully recovered from our years in CoG/TF. Many experience years of mental health problems, depression etc.

Simply learning to think for yourself, paying bills, taking responsibility--holding down a job-- are often alien to us after years of being in a communal cult, some of us take years to adjust. Trusting others was, for me, a tough one.

It's one thing to get out of a cult--it's another getting the cult out of you! Takes a whole lot of readjustment, rethinking one's priorities, getting out of the habit of wearing a "Happy Mask" in order to hide the pain inside.--owning up to past sins and being able to admit where we were wrong!

For me following the Jesus Christ of the Bible (Not that fake Jesus of Berg's invention) has been the most important thing.
 
Anonymous
 
Reply Sat 15 Apr, 2006 11:52 am
Some of us of the second generation never really believed much of the stuff TF puts out. So reorientation is not that difficult unless we were abused, harassed, condemned, etc etc etc. Some of us were never really taught the Bible or any religion or set of morals. So we can now see the result of the "anything-goes-as-long-as-it's-in-love" delusion in many of the second generation.

Some of my friends fall into that category. A few of them were taught some morals and Bible when they were young. So they have been able to differenciate between Berg and the Bible. I myself have studied a few other relgions. I find value in them. I am happy that my parents taught me the Bible and that I wasn't exposed to much doctrine or abuse while I was young. So I am quite blessed. I can say one possitive thing about being in TF has almost forced me to learn social skills when dealing with a wide range of strange characters, since I am naturally very critical. This is a valuable skill in almost any profession.
 
Anonymous
 
Reply Wed 30 Aug, 2006 07:43 am
i wanted to know
Well, with a name like curiousgeorge the group would probably ascertain my line of thought (s) and questioning.

I was watching the ABC Primetime show last night about the COG/TF and I became intrigued for I seemed to recognize that the piece aired previously. Now, what I am going to say next may sound insincere, spineless, and cold; with a few other choice words that I'm sure anyone has a right to utter but I am fascinated with this organization/cult. Be gentle with me in your criticisms. I admit that I am a neophyte, a green thumb, naieve perhaps of the traumatic and isolating suffocation it must of felt like being an unwilling member of an admittedly fringe, rabble-rousing, group, however, that still does not dissuade me from my curiosity.

I immediately went online and read damn near everything that I could find from those who vehemently opposed and those who vehemently embraced COG/FT lifestyle. So, I believe that I am not coming on without knowing something about the group. I even intend to purchase what little books/literature there is about the group.

I want to make this absolutely clear that my curiosity is not driven by the inordinate amount of sexually oriented material out there about the group but I am more interested in the dynamics of what makes the COG/TF view itself to be special, on a separate course from many other cults out there. Please understand that I am not a graduate student writing a thesis but my interests are purely academic, nonetheless.

I think that there is a concern that anyone else saying anything about an experience that one may not have experienced is just trolling for information but I truly am not that person. Yes, I have never belonged to a cult, living forcibly against my will, all decisions made for me etc, but I have been abused against my will, been unloved, been force-fed manipulations and propaganda. I mean I was raised a Mormon, for godsakes, doesn't that count for something? And I am not here to belittle the universal traumas and victimization that many of the group had to endure over many months but that still doesn't dissuade me from my curiosity.

There is a large part of me, rightly or wrongly that desires direction and order. What does the group think about this.
 
WalkerJ 1
 
Reply Wed 30 Aug, 2006 08:17 am
Re: i wanted to know
curiousgeorge wrote:
I immediately went online and read damn near everything that I could find from those who vehemently opposed and those who vehemently embraced COG/FT lifestyle. So, I believe that I am not coming on without knowing something about the group.

Brilliant! That is the way proper research should be done. It helps maintain a ballanced point of view.
 
Anonymous
 
Reply Sat 9 Sep, 2006 12:01 pm
Some have got on with their lives!
If anyone here has any knowledge of Psychological Profiling as I have, then it is easy to see the men from the women and or/girls or boys!
Rock on Family and Ex Members and with the exception of Ms Walker is there any adult who has the courage to meet with me to discuss TFI etc.?
I may pay expenses?


Love & God Bless

Max aka Guest
 
evanman
 
Reply Sat 9 Sep, 2006 01:39 pm
Why would anyone want to bother discussing a demented cult with you?
 
Day 1
 
Reply Sat 9 Sep, 2006 07:42 pm
Anonymous wrote:
If anyone here has any knowledge of Psychological Profiling as I have, then it is easy to see the men from the women and or/girls or boys!

Recognizing the differences between men and women or girls and boys usually isn't that difficult for most people.
 
Piram
 
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 01:25 am
Day wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
If anyone here has any knowledge of Psychological Profiling as I have, then it is easy to see the men from the women and or/girls or boys!

Recognizing the differences between men and women or girls and boys usually isn't that difficult for most people.


Day, judging from this person´s recent posts, he/she seems to exhibit a fondness for questioning people´s gender/maturity, particularly if those people say anything about TF (or this individual)that rubs him/her the wrong way.(This person has also made at least one statement with a decidedly sexist tone: "...just like a woman, always going on...") In my case, this individual asked whether I was a man, a woman, a boy or a girl, and then, in the next sentence, proclaimed me a "woman". Hey, people can call me whatever sex they want to, and it´s not going to offend me. I think it does say something about such a person, though. And if the "boy or girl?" question was questioning my maturity, fair enough, even though I think it´s a bit silly to express it that way, if anyone thinks I´m immature, I say, state your case! However, I don´t think I´m going to hold my breath waiting for this person to do so... :wink:
 
Acheick
 
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 11:45 am
Anonymous wrote:
Some have got on with their lives!
If anyone here has any knowledge of Psychological Profiling as I have, then it is easy to see the men from the women and or/girls or boys!
Rock on Family and Ex Members and with the exception of Ms Walker is there any adult who has the courage to meet with me to discuss TFI etc.?
I may pay expenses?


Love & God Bless

Max aka Guest


hahahahahahaha - what a scream. You totally got the wrong genders for both WalkerJ and me. Ahahahhahaaaa.
 
evanman
 
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 12:36 pm
Guess this "expert" on profiling ain't such an expert after all!
 
Dee 2
 
Reply Sun 17 Sep, 2006 05:35 pm
Re: i wanted to know
curiousgeorge wrote:
Well, with a name like curiousgeorge the group would probably ascertain my line of thought (s) and questioning.

I was watching the ABC Primetime show last night about the COG/TF and I became intrigued for I seemed to recognize that the piece aired previously. Now, what I am going to say next may sound insincere, spineless, and cold; with a few other choice words that I'm sure anyone has a right to utter but I am fascinated with this organization/cult. Be gentle with me in your criticisms. I admit that I am a neophyte, a green thumb, naieve perhaps of the traumatic and isolating suffocation it must of felt like being an unwilling member of an admittedly fringe, rabble-rousing, group, however, that still does not dissuade me from my curiosity.

I immediately went online and read damn near everything that I could find from those who vehemently opposed and those who vehemently embraced COG/FT lifestyle. So, I believe that I am not coming on without knowing something about the group. I even intend to purchase what little books/literature there is about the group.

I want to make this absolutely clear that my curiosity is not driven by the inordinate amount of sexually oriented material out there about the group but I am more interested in the dynamics of what makes the COG/TF view itself to be special, on a separate course from many other cults out there. Please understand that I am not a graduate student writing a thesis but my interests are purely academic, nonetheless.

I think that there is a concern that anyone else saying anything about an experience that one may not have experienced is just trolling for information but I truly am not that person. Yes, I have never belonged to a cult, living forcibly against my will, all decisions made for me etc, but I have been abused against my will, been unloved, been force-fed manipulations and propaganda. I mean I was raised a Mormon, for godsakes, doesn't that count for something? And I am not here to belittle the universal traumas and victimization that many of the group had to endure over many months but that still doesn't dissuade me from my curiosity.

There is a large part of me, rightly or wrongly that desires direction and order. What does the group think about this.

I did excatly the same thing, the only difference is I saw a rerun on the Dr. Phil show. I have read all the internet sites extensively both pro and anti COG sites. I also read all the very sad and disturbing sites dealing with Ricky Rodriguez, and have also read Deborah Davis' book "COG, The Inside Story", and Miriam Williams book" Heaven's Harlots: My 15 Years as a Scared Prostitute In COG".
What amazes me the most was how "unaware" and in "my own little univerise", I was about this cult. I am the same age as many of the 1st generation COG recruits! I remember nothing in the news, on tv, etc. about this, even though it is widely documented. I remember in 1972, I was in my Sr year, when a Hare Krisna religious cult came to my Catholic HS. They preached the bible and sang and danced and were very nice to us. They had a tamborine and were asking for donations but we were HS kids, so they got very little. However they happily fed us some type of rice dish, while they continued to preach, play music, etc. They were basically at our HS all afternoon. Believe it not, this visit was arranged by a priest, who was our religion teacher. He was a modern, and with it priest, that all the students loved, so we immensely enjoyed the whole experience. I remember thinking how different and dedicated these people seemed to be. It was strange though because they were both terribly exciting and liberating; but at the same time, also frighttening.
I attended a Catholic, upper middle class, 99.9% white HS, so although we were fascinated by these cult members, as soon as they boarded their bus, we all went back to our football & cheerleading practices, our Fri night dances, our Sat night dates, etc., and never gave it another thought. However, I did remember this experience and several years later after meeting up with this cults members in Union Station I did do some reading up on their philosphies, but soon lost interest.
I do not know for certain, but if they recruited anyone from my HS that day they visited--- nobody ever knew about it.
I think the reason for this is bascially, we were a satisfied bunch of teens, ready to graduate from HS and go to college. We were also a very spoiled and selfish group of teens. We were the last of the baby boom generation, so the culture was rapidly changing.
We went to college and did the whole hippie thing, but in our verison. The college verison. We did drugs, drank sometimes but it was mostly pot or speed. We objected to the Vietnam war and did our share of protests, sit ins etc. We went to Woodstock and numerous other amazing musical festivals/concerts. We were sexually much more free than our parents. But through it all, we knew that we were not 100% anti system. After all it was the system (our parents) who were footing the bill for our education and living expenses. Plus we all knew this was just a 4 year stint. We all knew when we graduated we would be actively seeking jobs in the real world/system. For my group of peers, we did not hate and turn against the real world/system as our older baby boom generation peers did. Manty of us were not active members of the religion we were brought up with; yet it was still a naturally accepted part of our inner being, that we did not question.
What made me really do a dead stop when I saw the Dr. Phil show--was how could I have missed all this?????
Yes, I was busy in those years getting my first real world/system job as a teacher, then marrying and having cmy own children. I again was in my own little world and not really up on current events.
As someone that saw just how mesmirizing cult members can be--and neither I nor my friends ever had a desire to join. I was still able to see how convincing these people could be. To step over the line was NOT a very big step. Once you stepped over the line, the cult then took over the rest of the indoctrination.
I feel so amazed that I was so into my own world that I did not realize many of my fellow baby boomers were members of cults. I did not realize because I was so out of the hippie way of life and very happily living my life with my family in the real world/system .
I know my fellow baby boomer peers did what they thought was right and then got very misguided by what they thought was God's will. I feel so sorry for these people and can not even begin to imagine what their lives have been like. But that is a choice that they made.
The ones that are the real victims are the 2 nd generation. Those are the truely innocent, that have suffered and still suffer the MOST.
To the poster I quoted above. I did find myself totally amazed by the COG televison show. But after doing a lot of reading and research and reading, I can understand why no one has responded to your post, other than me. I would be willing to bet many of the posters are 2 nd generation members that were born into this lifestyle.
They come here to talk about what is bothering them, release punt up emotions and try to find comfort.
To ask these people what happened, why it happended, their feelings at the time, etc., is asking a lot. They are here to get answers, not give them.
As a woman,who most likely has kids the same age or older than 2nd generation COG kids, I am so sorry. The baby boom generation was a wild and crazy time that spread from mild rebellion to all out rebellion. We all thought we were the new, free generation who could see the truth. Some of the baby boom generation took it took it to more greater extremes, than others.
 
JASONLANIK
 
Reply Tue 20 Nov, 2007 07:46 pm
Hey Max!!!
Anonymous wrote:
Some have got on with their lives!
If anyone here has any knowledge of Psychological Profiling as I have, then it is easy to see the men from the women and or/girls or boys!
Rock on Family and Ex Members and with the exception of Ms Walker is there any adult who has the courage to meet with me to discuss TFI etc.?
I may pay expenses?


Love & God Bless

Max aka Guest


Hey Max!! I would love to discuss TFI and etc. with you. Surprised When and where? I am serious and am ready to talk.
Jason Lanik :
Hope to hear back from you
 
 

 
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