My Sister's Children

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Reply Fri 27 Jul, 2007 11:17 am
My Sister's Children
Please help! My older Sister is still a member of TF. I have recently met her which was a great experience, but having read the book "Not Without My Sister" I don't know what to think!

I would love to either talk to her oldest daughter Jessica, or an XFamily member that knew her. Her birth name is Lupetha and she took the name Maria I think. Originally from Dublin she is an Irish lass with flowing red hair now 49 years old. She has travelled the world and has had 9 children. The oldest jessica was born in Dublin in 1979. Her first married name was Thompson, but she has re-married now and her new sirname is Farrell.

Sincerely
Cath[/img]
 
m 2
 
Reply Fri 27 Jul, 2007 11:58 am
Cath,

Rest assured that the abuse you read about is now the exception rather than the rule.

The things to worry about these days in TF are lack of education and crazy doctrines.
 
BlackELk
 
Reply Sun 29 Jul, 2007 09:02 am
Quote:
Rest assured that the abuse you read about is now the exception rather than the rule.

The things to worry about these days in TF are lack of education and crazy doctrines.


I realize TFI leadership no longer overtly promotes pedophilia, so it is technically correct to say "exception rather than the rule." With that acknowledged, I feel compelled to say something about "exceptions" to the rule against adult-child sexual contact in TFI.

Epidemiological studies estimate that one in four (25%) children growing up in the general population experience some form of inappropriate sexual contact with an adult while growing up. General population estimates include people from sexualized cultures such as TFI, so comparing TFI to the general population is a bit misleading.

The problem for TFI kids is that even if "only" 25% experience inappropriate sexual intimacy with an adult, they have little recourse for dealing with their abuser in a high demand culture that denies this unwanted sexual contact is actually abusive, minimizes the negative effects of unwanted sexual contact by counseling the girls to forgive and forget, and even goes so far as to blame the victim and punish her for choices adults make (e.g., Flirty Little Teens Beware!)

So even if it's "only" 25% of the kids in TFI are experiencing unwanted sexual attention from an adult, the long-term consequences of those experiences are much more serious for those kids than for kids growing up in a culture that does not foster and excuse covert sexual abuse.

I also agree that the single greatest neglect and abuse issue with which TFI kids must currently contend is the poor education they receive. However, this was also an issue for kids growing up in the days when sexual abuse was deemed normative. It's often through education that abused kids figure out that their family norms are viewed by others as deviant and harmful.
 
Thorwald 1
 
Reply Sun 29 Jul, 2007 06:22 pm
See: "Flirty Little Teens, Beware" by Karen Zerby for details of what BlackELk was referring to.

PS: Our glossary on "Flirty little teen" also has some background information. Also see: "Liberty or Stumblingblock?".
 
Anonymous
 
Reply Mon 30 Jul, 2007 01:10 am
My Sisters Children
Thanks very much for your comments, I have read them with interest. Do you know any other xfamily websites for getting in touch. I would like to get in touch with my oldest niece just in case she needs some help.

Many Thanks

PS I love Cats
 
Thorwald 1
 
Reply Mon 30 Jul, 2007 01:40 am
Cath61 wrote:
Do you know any other xfamily websites for getting in touch.


Try these:
- http://www.exfamily.org
- http://www.movingon.org
- http://www.newdaynews.com
 
 

 
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