i dunno if this qualifies i was brought up by my father and brother as mom died from a overdose she had problems so dad and dearest older brother took over looking after me after she passed away and i loved dad very much but as he got more older he started getting weird and bad tempered more then he often got home drunk yet when this happened i would help him to bed and make him comfortable sometimes just talking together and chillin as he went to sleep yet in the morning morning he was angry saying i did everything wrong and calling me names yet when my brother appeared he was greeted with praise and treated like gold and just had to there to be heaped with compliments my heart breaks at this then to be told why i cant be like him instead of a worthless whatever and a mill stone to him then he would yell so many horrid names at me but like a switch he would stop and hug me tight like a different person and say i was his confusing me very much then my brother was more at home due to being unemployed and i became their go get girl for ages sadie get your brother a beer sadie get the munchies sadie make the bed and loads more so dutifully i did dad then became more vunrable and need my hugs and warmth more and my brother became the head of the house taking over the running and thankfully got himself back to work so the bills and finance became under his control and i was put more into service fetching carrying comforting both of them now and dad was like needing brother did the drinkinking thing as dad had done so it became unbearable and so i ran now i am just on my own living in a apartment 2 room and very lonely not knowing what either my brother or dad are doing though i suspect dads probably passed away to now and brother i not heard from him so feel isolated used so not sure if it qualifies but if it does my email is [email protected] and would love to get a message from you xxxhugs sadie

Sadie, wow, first off thanks so much for your openness. I am diagnosed with PTSD in addition to anxiety and depression etc and know it can be hard to open up but also know (from group therapy, sharing my testimony at peer centers, even from some of what I've shared online or in my writing) it can be freeing as well.

I actually have a Rotary presentation Tuesday morning about the Kai the Hitchhiker book (was published late January) so I'm getting to bed early, but I will find my protonmail login info so we can have end to end encryption for privacy.

Hope you've been able to find some healthy outlet whether it's therapy, art, community service or whatever that helps heal you. For a long time I think it's been journalism for me. I realized in the last couple years that was why I was called to do this kind of work. I can't get justice for myself or even for some of the people I try to help but in helping them get their stories out there, shared in a public forum, airing their grievances, that in itself can be kind of therapeutic as well.

Thank you so much. In the meantime you can email me at [email protected] I'll send you a download link for the book as well. There's one chapter that goes into his early life that ref's The Family and another chapter that goes further into The Family and the Canadian Residential School Program that "reeducated" Indigenous children like Kai's father...

Like my first book though there are portions that are triggering so don't feel pressured to read it and if you do read it or my first book (Pedogate Primer about institutional pedophilia) please make sure to take breaks. When I wrote both books, especially with the first, I didn't give myself space enough and my physical and mental health suffered for a while but I did at least get back into therapy and off and on on meds since which has helped.