Fainting In My Mind
I watched RR's (Davidito) final video today. I was both inspired and devastated.

I'm not an x-member. I don't usually take on such subjects; I am one of the people who wandered on here. I'm just a young lady who grew up skeptical and highly aware of certain injustices in my culture and messed up family. I feel a great need to reach out to you ex-members and offer what I can. I have suffered in many ways that allow me to relate on some issues.

I am so proud of Rick's last message and so devastated to see The Family is still spreading their lies. This cult represents most of the things I find wrong in my culture. I am sorry for those who don't realize what they are part of.

I don't wish to cause suffering, but to end it by any and all means necessary. I don't even wish to see my worst enemy suffer, though that person probably deserves to be burned alive according to most people. But sometimes suffering is necessary for others to be saved, I guess. ANYWAYS....

Well, I would not be ashamed to be friends with any survivors who are in recovery from their ordeals here. I too have a story few could believe or conceive. I also feel special, but sometimes I feel very alone. I want to explain what makes me not feel alone when I start to feeling sorry about myself.

I like to do something I call Pay It Forward. A Pay it Forward is basically a random act of kindness. This involves me going on craigslist once in a while and offering people free help with their resumes. I got the idea from another guy who does this by bringing free stuff to people. It is a spiritual way for me to anonymously give, without using my generousity to control others or satisfy my ego (not that the ego is bad, but it must be restrained in my case!).

I know people from normal families, and most of them don't have time or interest in doing Pay It Forwards. They are able to engage with their family members in normal, healthy relationships and contribute to the world that way. Sometimes, I'm better helping a stranger. I am able to help strangers more than those I know becaus eI sometimes have more faith in the stranger, if that makes sense.

I have excellent communication skills and ability to travel to foreign places sometimes. I am not afraid of much, to put it mildly. And I have no limits where doing the right thing is concerned.

Anyway, I was so touched by Ricky's story, and final video, that I would like to offer my help, and instead of doing my Pay It Forwards, I will do something to spread awareness about The Family. If somebody can use my assistance in that direction, let me know.

PS I like the cats