Nope you're not alone..
Knowing others have the same struggles feels nice but it's damn saddening at the same time.
I've been out for 7 years now, went to school, made friends, have a normal life.. And yet I still can't seem to find my place. Even in the midst of very close friends the feeling of not belonging is always in the background.
Personally I don't talk about my childhood. I don't want to be labelled "ex-cult member" and for people to only see that when looking at me. It's not what defines me. At least that's what I like to tell myself, but I've got so many issues that have surfaced over the years that it's hard to hide at times. It would be nice to be understood but as you said it's too heavy a package to share, too alien to grasp.
I have a group of friends who frankly didn't have it easy either but they seem to cope so much better. They manage to be light hearted and put their sufferings aside. I just can't seem to lift the weight of it all and just be, live and forget.
One thing that would have helped would have been recognition and true profound apologies (and justice!). I don't know about you but that's probably the hardest thing about it. Cuz even when I manage to let go for a second, my feelings of anger and destructiveness just come lashing back out when I remember how they're all denying and getting away with it all, saying we're the crazy demons (parents in the lot). I know that if I could get that, I could let go and move on.
I really like your quote wene69 "Everyday in every way I am getting better and better."
I'm positive it will become easier with time.
And it's true that investing oneself in sportive, creative or other things helps a lot. When the emotions swell up I run, swim, write or create sculptures. It's important to get your feelings out of your system and not let them swirl endlessly inside and take hold of you.
I wish you all the best. Just the fact that we're still here and getting on with our lives means we're damn warriors
Falling flies shall become dragons.