Thanks for your response
As for the sister denying anything bad happening to them; I just find it odd that my boyfriend and the older brother have nothing but bad memories of the time spent with The Family, and she has nothing but good ones. They were at the same place at the same time.
There can be more than one reason for this; one may be:
If she was a so-called 'good girl' and played her cards well, she would also be rewarded well for it by the adults/leaders, never mind if she faked it all the way, which may not be the case here.
If the oldest boy was not so compliant or submissive he would be given a much harder time. The environment was not favouring young people asking legitimate questions that were difficult to impossible to answer for the adults, so often they would simply be punished instead.
The younger of them were obviously most of the time around totally different people than the older ones. Really, a lot depends on who you are with, even within the same home at the same time.
My boyfriends parent are very unwilling to discuss the matter, and as time has passed, he has stopped mentioning it altogether, as it creates a tense and unpleasant atmosphere among them.
The older brother has never been able to function in "the real world". Today, he's 37 years old and still lives with his parents. He has never had a job. He suffers from paranoia and various other mental disturbances. I'm not stating that the time in The Family is entirely to blame for his mental diagnosis, but I'm quite sure it hasn't made matters better. The parents have never been eager to get him into treatment - it seems that they're somewhat embarassed by his condition, maybe even feeling guilty.
You may be right in your last assessment here. It sounds like a difficult situation, but imo not impossible. Based on what you write, the troubled past may need to be met and settled as much as possible, somehow, by parents and son alike, or maybe the whole family. Only my 5 cent.
One thing to remember is that whatever part anyone has in past wrongs/sins against another it must usually be sought corrected before much progress can be made. This ‘setting things right’ was never a strong point in TF; usually the ones who was most due to apologize never did or never cared, which I believe in some cases crippled people for life, unfortunately.
Good to hear from you again, keep the chin up…