Mon 3 Dec, 2012 01:56 pm
My name is Karen. I'm 20 years old. I currently live in Galway, Ireland. I left the Family 4 years ago, I'm still trying to figure everything out. I'm not sure what else to say, or why I really felt compelled to join this site after I found it. I guess I was just thinking it would be nice to talk to people who are ex-members like me, I guess. I never get to talk to people openly, afraid of what they might think of me, so this seemed as good a place as any.
I wasn't really sure where to start this topic. General seemed somewhat appropriate, since I just wanted to generally chat...
Hi there. When you say you don't often talk openly for fear of what others may think of you do you mean about your past?
Yes. I have a few friends, but no one who I would talk to about it. And even among my friends, I'm considered weird enough as it is without the religious cult back story. I just generally find it difficult to talk to people, let alone open up to them.
In my personal life I've been wide open about it. And it has not hurt me one bit on the balance of things. Hell, it helps explain some of the weirdness.
About half of the second generation that I know is deathly afraid of anyone knowing about it, but their fears are, in my opinion, wholly unwarranted.
Anyway, over time it will matter less and less to you and at some point you will "remember" that oh yeah that was a weird other world.
I really don't know. What if I lose some of the few friends I have over that story? What if they start treating me differently? Worse yet, what if they don't believe me and think I'm just looking for attention? The things I've been through are not normal by any standards, besides the Family's standards (and as far as that is concerned, I'm both glad and sad I didn't have it as bad as others did).
I almost wish I could see the future, to see how my friends would react. My brother is very open about it, but he lives in America. He always tells me to keep it a secret, he says Irish are too secluded from the rest of the world to understand. I see the logic, but I'm not sure if he's just being over-protective.
Can you let us know little bit what you've been through?
Does your username KarenKarMa refer to Karen Zerby by any chance? Did you use to know her?
Hi. I'm Sidra of 24. I just joined this forum n hoping I can discuss my fears here without any hesitation. I'm very loving n trust worthy person. I'm like an open book, But people (included my friends) use to think of me like such person who has lot of hidden things within his personality. It makes me uneasy n that's why I like to remain in my shell, don't socialize.
Hey, sorry I haven't replied. I've been really busy these days.
swenet and sidra - I used the name KarenKarMa because it's an abbreviation of my name, Karen Mazursky. I never knew Karen Zerby. I was born in Arad, Romania, but I only lived for 3 months before I moved to Poland, and I lived there for 1 year before I moved to Hungary, and, in short, I moved to a lot of countries. Throughout all that moving from home to home, I was molested by several people. There was a woman I used to live with in Sao Poulo, Brazil, named Mercy, who told me and my brother we could only spend the night at her house, from six o'clock in the morning we had to sell Family music CDs and "provision" our own food. We could only return after dark, which is when we gave her the money we earnedfrom the CDs. Her husband was one of the people who molested me. That particular story stands out as the worst of my experiences.
It's hard to talk about. It's such an unbelieveable story, I don't think any normal person would believe me. I spend most of my spare time just playing video games or watching movies on my own or with one of my few friends. I also have Autism, something I found out only 3 years ago.
A few months ago, I told one of my close friends what happened to me, due to Robert Gentel's advice. After a few minutes of silence, she said "That explains a lot, actually". I made her promise to keep it a secret, but getting it out felt good.
It's crazy how most of our childhood were left to random nannies who were probably all drop outs and had low education. Then being physically and mentally abused in different ways because it was the "lords will" or "against the lords will". Isolated and manipulated.
you can come here on facebook. it's a very supportive group
@Mark S J,
Thanks for the link, I'll look in to it
I think it's really important to talk to a counsellor. A professional can help you open up and see things in a different perspective. Dealing with the past helps us to move into the future.
With all due respect, I don't think a counsellor can help. I've talked to them before, and it's not really helping me.