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Well, I thought I was happy with this night shift job I started a month ago. It's paying the best I've ever gotten and no one else is working in my house right now so it's all on me. I am starting to resent working the nights though. First I hated the day shift, not because of the actual med pass or bedside care or counceling families about their loved ones condition or happiness in general but because of all the imense pressure and stress to get all this intolerable paperwork done in a timely manner and all the rules and regulations of the facilities legal mumbo jumbo. I tried very hard to just shake it off but instead ended up hating the day shift because of all the idiots you have to deal with instead of being able to just show up and take care of people! Which is what a nurse really is in my head anyway. Well, the night shift is getting just as bad now. I'm in a different place now but it's getting ridiculous. They're idea of nursing is who really cares if you pass all your meds and take care of the pt's. Just make sure all the paperwork is done, all the charting on every bruise and broken finger nail (just joking about the nail) and just make sure you spend enough time getting a really good report ready for the next shift nurse make sure you do enough A/I reports on anything and everything and then go home knowing how well of a job you did by knowing all you did all night was cover your own butt because after all.......if it's not written down you didn't do it right?! I thought this place would be different because they actually have a secretary that makes the pt's appts so that would save time for us right? Well, what about this weekly TX charting then? What about have 40+ pt's in dementia at night with high elopement risks and only 3-4 CNA's? What about Medicare charting which is a joke? No one is actually having the time to take proper vital signs, everyone is making up numbers! It's insane. What about neuro checks when they barely bumped their head and their is discoloartion of the scalp and the pt isn't on coumadin? My God man, they act like this is the most fragile life form on the planet. Let's be real here, these people are here to die (most of them) and this is their home, are you going to rush your baby who falls down on his butt that is padded by a diaper (or a hip saver) to the emergency room every time he/she falls down with zero injuries? It's crazy and way too time consuming. Even the best mother out there doesn't have eyes on all sides of her head or the mind to even be able to see everything all the time. I'm really hurting here emotionally because my back is in a corner and I need this job. I'm hoping that my soon to be husband gets a job soon so that I can do something else for a living that I really enjoy. My heart goes out to these pt's because I really care and I want to help but not so hands on. One of my dream jobs is to learn how to play the harp and do music therapy for hospice. I do want to stay at the bedside, but in a different manner. Not just, "Hi so and so, I have your medicine, open your mouth and swallow please." And not have the time to really deal with them when they are combative and such. It's like "okay, you want to hit and spit at me? No problem, I'll just walk right out and write, "Refused" on my MAR". Any suggestions would be great although I have a feeling that this is happening everywhere and to everyone out there. BTW, I've tried hospice nursing and it was still to hands on for me. Any other suggestions?
I definelty had a better day at work today. I just simply decided that there is absolutely no way around it. If you want to finish your day's paperwork you must stay overtime. I can forget all about leaving on time for now on. I'll just think while I'm sitting there steaming at the crazy amt of paperwork how much I'm making the facility pay me to sit there and do "paperwork". It's ridiculous though, I was sitting there after given my report to the am nurse and I'm mounted down with paperwork right? Well, the pt's are just getting up now and here they come wheeling in my direction and asking for all sorts of stuff while I'm working at the station. Most of the stuff I couldn't do without say.......having the keys that I just gave off to the next nurse, or getting into now "her" cart and let me tell you, she is not nice about sharing things either! So all I could do was direct them to her since she had access now to everything. Whatever right? All I know is that I made my fiancee sit out in the parking lot for 1 1/2 hrs this am while I was doing "paperwork" but I can still look at the bright side of it and say, "Hey! I made overtime money for paperwork! And I left there feeling like I actually completed most of my job today!" Isn't it sad that most of the time I leave work I remember stuff I forgot to chart or do or tell the next nurse and I always think.....well....if it's charting it can wait till tommarrow with a late entry until tommarrow actually comes into full swing and I'm way over my head with today's work load. I guess that will always be a on-going thing. I have anxiety but I'm not actually DX with it yet although I'm seeing my own MD for the first time on this and my point here about it anyways is that I get really anxious when I remember all the little things or big things I forgot to do at work, maybe because there's way too much on my mind there anyway with all the demands, that I just feel like bailing out of there by calling in sick, but I need my job so I need to deal with my anxiety as well. I know I just blah blah here, but it really does make me feel better and thanks for the response. I feel like someone's actually listening. 
I have to admitt, it's really getting to me. Being treated like pure crap from fellow nurses who won't pull together but away from you and trying to constantly put the finger on someone else is nauseating. Let's consider the schedule most of us have. It sucks! Plain and simple. It's not like your working in an office where you can rest your body and type and do paperwork and phone work all day. It's about running around servicing people and getting in trouble all the time. I'm sick of it. I have always like working on computers. Grant I need more skills but that's what I truly like best. I worked in offices doing general office work and data entry and usually found myself working with checks and cash and loved that aspect of my job. I love to keep busy with that kind of stuff too. The pay wasn't that good though, compared to nursing. But hell, I can take a pay cut in half if it means starting over again and being fresh and clean from all this nursing bullshit! I'm working the night shift because I thought it would be a lot more favorable as far as the stress level goes, well, don't worry about that because the bulls in the Pm and am make sure they still get a hold of you and plus, feeling like a zombie during the day when I'm trying to enjoy it sucks! I hate nights! I want to spend quality time with my family and not feel worn out to death. I am really hoping that finacially we can swing this change because I just can't keep it up!
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