I used to be a CNA years ago before I became a LPN
Then you should have some empathy for the CNAs. Tell me, what kind of response do you get when you say "Please" and "Thank You"? Is it mostly positive and does it produce good results? Or do things not get done? You know, as a nurse, it's much harder to be humble (and grateful) for the hard work that your CNAs do every day, but if you want to build a strong team (and you are working on a team --- you can't do it all alone), then you need to build good relationships with the people on your team. "Please" and "Thank You" and "I really appreciate what a good job you did with [fill in the blank]" go a long way towards strengthening those relationships. When you were a CNA, did any of the nurses you worked for take the time to praise you? And, if they did, how did that make you feel? And, if they screamed at you, how did that make you feel?
Remember, in LTC, you are taking care of vulnerable people, and, as a nurse, you need to model good behavior. If you are loving and kind to your residents, and you expect that behavior from your CNAs, shouldn't you model it in all of your actions? And shouldn't you be more concerned that the CNAs you work with are good to their residents? That's where you need to focus your attention.
I suspect that you are in for a difficult time. Your DON wants you to be tough, and "write people up." So they already know they have a problem. Why haven't they addressed it before you came on board? If they are unhappy with the performance of the CNAs, they need to take some ownership of the problem and work to correct it. If "sleeping on the job" is not acceptable to them (and that's not a universal policy, since some facilities allow their night staff to take a nap during their breaks), and they know it's going on, why haven't they fixed it?
There are alot of leadership styles. It sounds like you are working for people who are "authoritarian", but that's not your natural style. Authoritarian leadership is only successful in a few circumstances (the military, for example, or the Emergency Room), and almost always fails in Long Term Care. If you continue to work for them, then you will have to learn to toughen up and become more assertive and confrontational. Since this isn't your style, you are always going to be uncomfortable with this facility. Bear in mind, they probably have had trouble keeping nurses because their leadership style is out of touch with the needs of their facility.
So you have a choice. Take the money, and be uncomfortable with the people you work with and for, or try to find a situation that fits your leadership style.