It's so nice to be off for 4 nights!
I am currently working a new position at a local convalescent center for about a month now and I'm loving it so much! I'm a L.P.N. and staff nurse there. I've worked day shift as a charge nurse before and what a diffence I tell you! First of all when I worked days, I felt tremendous stress and anxiety and even suffered untreated and undiagnosed anxiety. My hear would be racing and my pulse sky high while my b/p low. I was single then and living on my own and having a very good time doing so.

I'm now engaged to a wonderful man and live with him and his 11 yr old daughter. Originally I was going to be a stay at home Mom. But circumstance finacially served otherwise for us and I returned to the work scene. At first I completely argued that nursing was for me and that I hated it. I believed that the stress would return and it would ultimately tear our relationship apart. So in fear of the anxiety I suffered previously I decided to go on strike for almost a whole year while we struggled to survive finacially off savings and my fiances dwindling income.

I finally agreed to sign up for an agency where I could pick and choose when and where to work. I was hesitant and finally decided to try working just 1 night a week. Okay, I admit, I liked working at night because it was so much calmer than during the dayshift. I didn't feel anxiety. This seemed to work. But I was so unmotivated and still had a bad taste in my mouth from my previous nursing positions that I allowed myself to become lazy and stopped calling in to find work at the agency. I'm still employed there although I don't ever take assignments now. Well, as reality would have it, we needed money, and we needed yesterday so I found an ad in the paper for an allergists office. I did that for a couple months in the summer but found the paramedics repulsive with their candor attitude and the bi-polar nurses unbearable to work so closely with so I decided that since my boss (the main allergist there, they had 5) was just as crabby and unsupportive to quit. I happily quit and never looked back. I didn't miss eating lunch alone in the break room and having uncomfortable converstations with my ex co-workers one bit missed.

Okay, I thought working for a doctors office would be less intimidating, it wasn't. In fact, the long hours and didn't compensate for the mint day schedule I worked. So then I thought I'd resort to something I knew and started to miss because I was already trained and comfortable in, nursing homes. I once again found after 3 attempts locally that they were still not my nitch. I left one particular job that was on the night shift which I loved because I only had to work 4 nights a week and receive full-time benefits unbearable because once the busy am shift would show up I was being bombarded with a hassling ADON embarrassing me in front of everyone riding my a** for work that the CNA's didn't do. I had a large ration of about 40-60 and no time to pull back all the covers to really check if they wiped butts clean. But that job paid exceptionally well and was only one block away from home. I found the other nurses to be full of stress and always complaining and swearing and barking orders and being very negative. So I decided to leave without notice. I simply called in sick and never showed up again. Very unprofessional and very embarrassing but I simply couldn't deal with the DON. Now I was very worried about that biting me in the butt one day. And it probably will, but hopefully God will hear my prayers and protect me from that one.

Okay, moving onto the next nursing home locally, 10 min drive. day shift because my fiancee wants me home to take care of his daughter after school because he's on call 24/7. That's stressful enough to have a successful engagement with odd working schedules, but true love will find a way. Having a very difficult soon to be step daughter in the mix makes matters more intense.......oooppps.......there goes my anxiety again!

Well, I decided that afterall I needed the night back in my life. This provided a queer type of personal time for myself that I so despartely miss when I was single and would come home to a quite and peaceful home. Sure I'm still sleeping 2-3 after my daughter arrives home from school, but I think it's healthy for her to have some free time as well to unload and unleash all her negativity before dealing with her. Although she's the most negative person I've ever known in my life.

Yes, I like sleeping with my fiancee, but when I actually want to sleep :wink: I perfer my own bed alone thank you very much. So this day sleeping can be a challenge sometimes but I still enjoy it very much. For the most part, besides for the barking dogs in our apartment, it's soothing and quite and peaceful. I think investing in some dark drapery will be well-worth it because of the sunlight sometimes playing tricks with my cyrcadium rythim. Sorry, I'm a horrible speller. You know what I mean though.

The happy ending of my story here is that I have found another nursing home to work in at night and even though the pay isn't as much as I'm used to, it's still good considering I'm 3 lights away and it takes me 5 min to drive there. This staff at night makes my job a real pleasure. The night shift here is tight. Everyone helps each other out and we keep a great sense of humor and we take turns bringing food to feed each other and we even play movies on a mini DVD player at the station so if we have a few minutes we can sit down and start watching it where ever it is. It's not as stressful either. The home is clean and even though there is a flu going around, only one pt has hep A and no one has aides or HIV that we are aware of. I have a home wing for the most part of about 40-45 pts. and most of them are dementia and skilled care. I love that though, I feel comfortable with that. The staff might bitch and complain about little things but from where I come from it's nothing and those same people have been employeed there for years. The turnover there is from new staff. I believe you either fit in or you don't and you'll know right away there.

I've been pre-warned about the DON there. I've never met her but I've been told I don't want to because the only time she takes time out for a staff member is because they are in big trouble. She's been known to fire a long term nurse on nurses day. She refers to the nurses there as the "stupidest nurses in the world". She is also know to belittle staff calling them stupid and being told that that are the worst nurse ever or that they are a very bad nurse. She's philopino and usually they stick together but even her own people can't stand her. DON's that know each other, even philopinos can't stand her. That says something about this woman already. I was told that the ADONs take her crap and don't say anything to her. I guess the reason she's still there is because when she started 2 yrs back the facility was always getting in trouble with state and when this woman started she put everything into order so the administrator values her for that. People have quit because of her. People have threatened her and she's threatened back to call the police on them because people wanted to hurt her.

I'm glad for the heads up because seeing how much I love this job and I really don't have to deal with her when I do see her coming, I'll take a deep breath and remain calm and emotionless and just simply go along with whatever she says to me. I won't take it person no matter how mean she is to me. The scary thing is that every single person has been written up by her and suspended and this reflects my license. There ought to be a law that protects non-union nurses from this type of abuse. But since there isn't what can I do?

Let's put it this way. If I had the true option even now to not have to work because my fiancee landed a great job, I would continue working full-time where I'm at. I've found my niche and I'm now motivated again and continuing my studies presently for my BSN.

So now I'm off for 4 nights in a row because I just completed 5 in a row and my legs and feet fell it alright. I now need to get motivated to clean house when all I really want to do is lay around and watch a movie. Think I'll do that and use my other nights to do errands and clean. Well, that's it for now.