Fri 25 Feb, 2005 11:47 am
How do you deal with losing a patient?
I work in NICU and resently had a patient for almost six months. This is an unusual length of time and unfortunately the baby didn't make it. When they are there that long it's hard to not get attached. I wonder how other nurses deal with losing patients. Also we seem to lose patients in three's. Does anyone else have this kind of pattern?
How do you deal with loosing a patient
My family Dies in three's. Everyone has a plan by god the day they are born and you can not change that. I am truely sorry for your loss.. Heaven is the greatest place created!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you are Christian (I am), often our patients are in a miserable state prior to death, I see it as a blessing at the point in which they die. However, dealing with sudden death of young, is stressful and I just cry and move on. It is okay to cry.
I work in a NICU as well and it does seem that we lose patients in threes. I'm not really sure why that is, but it's really odd. It is very difficult to lose a baby especially one that is on the unit for such a long time. Most of the deaths on our unit occur in the micro premies. Deaths don't occur too often thankfully especially compared to the size of our unit (we have 80 beds and usually have a census around 60 NICU babies). It helps to think of all of the babies that we have helped and that did go home to live healthy lives. To see a baby go home after months in the hospital is just a blessing and knowing that I had a part in their care is the reason why I love my job. Crying is a very good release as well- don't be afraid to cry after a loss.
I admire the work that you ladies do. I admire it so much that after my 16 year old fought like a champ for 7 weeks in ICU (cancer), (yes, he was saved and did die)
after he left and i got my mind back, i entered college to become a nurse.
And the advice the nurse gave about focusing on the ones you help is very solid and I shall put that on the top of my blackboard in my mind to recall.
I am not sure how i will react yet but i would love to work in a childrens hospital to be there to help. not just the patients, but be available for the parents.
do you ever have opportunities presented to you to be a good listener to parents? As a parent in their shoes, not so long ago, i want you to know, when you dont say a word, and you listen to them, IT HELPS.
so, i salute your work ladies. Keep up the good work. And you are right, babies go to heaven. And heaven is a wonderful place to be for them. We need to try...try.. to be happy for the ones that do leave because they arent gonna have to face the world we live in.
no, i dont mean it is good that they die. But it might be a way of thinking to help us cope. That is what i did when shawn left. i would remind myself all the time that i need to be happy FOR him. he is celebrating and enjoying a perfect world.
I hope this helps you from another perspective.
if it does, then alrighty then. excellent. glad to help.
but you are very important to alot of people. keep up the great work that you do !!!!
I like to believe that death is not always the enemy. But there are patients that make you ask why. I had a 21 y/o intentional OD 2 weeks ago that we couldn't save. That bothered me for a couple days. And I realized that although I gave that guy eveything I knew, and he had the best team working on him, sometimes things are out of our control. Just give your patients 100% of yourself and you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that no matter what the outcome, you helped that person, even if for a short time. Things always happen for a reason.
I think there should be a greater issue in keeping a "dead" person alive on life support.
This baby that didn't make it; did we really do the baby or the family any favors? If life support is used for the family to say goodbye or if the patient is viable and recovers, hot damn, but if not, then I think we are interferring with some higher plan.
Oh, and as far as the comment from 1abCRNA... death is not a religous thing. Death can be a beautiful part of life no matter what your or the patient's religious preference happens to be.