First and foremost, it depends on where you work, and the age of the physician. Older docs may not have been brought up right, and you may still run into that attitude, but in the majority of places I've worked in, bad behavior by doctors toward nurses is simply not tolerated.

As an example, in the last hospital I worked for, if a doctor was rude to a nurse, the hospital administrator would personally call the physician and make him apologize to that nurse. One such episode involved a nurse calling a doctor and asking for something for pain for her patient. The doctor yelled at her "Can't you manage your patient's pain yourself?" The nurse cried, the charge nurse called the house supervisor, who picked up the phone and called the administrator. Result: the doctor was told to come see the patient and to apologize.
thank you ginger snap for your comments.
it is so good , i printed it out for future reference. im a student and want to remember this well.
thanks , rascal
In the teaching hospitals I've worked for, residents are told they "must listen to the nurses", and any doc who doesn't is a fool. If the docs are misbehaving, we have every right to take it up with their supervisor. Residents have been fired from their programs for doing such things as throwing instruments at nurses in the OR, so they are being taught early in their careers to respect nurses.

A good charge nurse will pull a doc who misbehaves aside and confront them on the issue of abusive behavior and make it clear that this is not acceptable.

Finally, even though you are a new nurse, and don't like confrontations, you are going to have to learn to strengthen yourself and learn to be more assertive in your communication style. There is nothing at all wrong in speaking up for yourself, and any good nurse manager will support their nurses in this area. Sometimes, if you are going to advocate for your patient, you have to get real pushy, and you flat out have to tell the doctor "No". In time, as you develop confidence in your nursing skills, you will have no trouble voicing your opinion to the doctors.

Finally, I would suggest you take a Communications class on "Communicating with Impossible People" to help you gain some strategies for dealing with verbally aggressive people. If the doctor your dealing with is acting like a Sherman Tank, you definitely need to follow the following advice:

1. Stand your ground
2. Interrupt the attack by using the doctor's name in a firm voice at a fairly loud volume.
3. Allow for the doctor to vent and use your "active listening" skills that you learned in therapeutic communication classes.
4. Redirect the conversation to the bottom line. "I'll discuss this with you when you are ready to communicate in a more reasonable manner." Or "We both want what is best for this patient." Or "I'm here to help you and we are going to do something about it."
5. Leave the door open. "When you are ready to talk to me with respect, I'm willing to hear what you have to say."

A few don'ts:
1. Don't counterattack.
2. Don't defend, explain or justify.
3. Don't shut down.