What can I do?

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Reply Mon 5 Sep, 2011 05:34 am
I have a friend, who I care deeply about, that was effected by this group and is traumatized to a really bad level. I met him while using drugs (hard drugs, both addicted) and through our friendship he explained to me a little of his past, and the horrors that have happened. I have had him cry, hugging me which is quite rare since we are both male.

He grew up in India, with the group. I have done research and this seems like one of the worst places, and his stories (which I really cannot repeat) make it seem terrible, and even unbelievable at times. I know another member of his immediate family, who is very quiet about the subject, but on multiple occasions has mentioned little snippets.

The abuse has really hurt him inside, and I could see it every day I saw him. He talked about killing himself so often, but used hard drugs to mask that, or do it slowly. I have ended my drug-use and so I have not seen this person in quite some time, but he still means a lot to me. I don't know what to do. I wish I could help get him into somewhere that could help him. At this time though he has no contact with his parents, is addicted to drugs, homeless, hurt and broke. I would offer him a room, but living situations don't allow for it at all, though if he was sober it might work out.

I just want to know if there is someone I can call, maybe put him in touch with that could talk with him. He has so much to say but hardly anyone to listen. I love him like a brother, and I hope that he can get out of the deep dark place he is in.

I appreciate it and really love the work the xfamily is doing. It has changed my entire perspective on life to know someone so well who had such a horrible thing happen to them, and I hope that the education to those who have no idea what is happening can continue. God bless.
 
ptltyjijn
 
Reply Mon 5 Sep, 2011 11:25 pm
dude, so sorry about this. I have been in the fam and have gone through some crap as well. If you check out the lives of ppl that where f***ed in the beginning of the family you will find it was not impossible for real bad sh*t to actually happen.

In my oppinion. I seriously think that simply put: shit happens. what could I do about it? Nothing. Shit happens, and there was no one to help me out when I left. I have felt like killing myself as well. Yet one thing that has helped me is to simply change pages in my life. creating friendships, getting jobs (while trying to somehow achieve my goals) and especially time, yes, passing time, has been best cure.
 
ptltyjijn
 
Reply Mon 5 Sep, 2011 11:30 pm
finding things to enjoy and laugh at, ppl to laugh with, did help a lot.
 
AlexRobinson
 
Reply Mon 5 Sep, 2011 11:58 pm
You should have had him consult a doctor while you had the chance!
 
antiM
 
Reply Thu 13 Oct, 2011 02:43 pm
@want2help,
Don't know if you are still checking this board, but I hope you and your friend can get some help. Sometimes a place to start is a rape crisis hotline. Even though your friend is possibly years past the abuse, he is in crisis regarding the damage from the life he experienced in the family. Rape crisis hotlines have resources for abuse. Also, very recently in my city, The Ammons Law Firm has advertised that they help sue organizations that allow sexual abuse of children. Even though the abuse happened years ago (I am guessing), as with the Catholic Church the suits went back decades in some cases. Don't know how they do it, but if they are not doing this in his State, maybe they have references to another firm: 1-866-523-1603.
If they are working on cases like his, they will usually get the person affected started on therapy and in treatment or at least have references. Women's Centers often work with male survivors of rape, abuse and incest since there are scant mens' organization that do. They often have excellent referrals for people. Hoping the best for you and your friend.
 
linaaram1
 
Reply Mon 19 Dec, 2011 07:28 pm
Sadly, there is no one who is willing to help any of us. We are casualties, our lives were doomed from birth. I've tried seeking help from counselors, university professors, family (although, they are as wounded as I). NO ONE has offered any help. It could be that the events were so insidious which makes them hard to explain. Or it is just so far from what normal people experience, they cannot understand and so cannot help.
How I would LOVE to start a lawsuit against the group. Maybe then we could get some help and compensation, or at least publicly expose them to warn other young people from ever joining a similar group.
 
joroseanna
 
Reply Mon 26 Dec, 2011 05:01 pm
@want2help,
hi!
i've been reading the posts for a while and it took me some time thinking if to answer to it or not...I met the Family a long time ago and I'm happy my parents struggled to get me out of them back then. I live in Romania now and this is where I met them...
It took me over 8 years to recover mentaly from the brainwash I received from the Family - now I'm a succesfull manager, working in financial field.
It's hard to give advice, but I do believe that the healing starts from within. What worked for me: I spent a lot of time in the nature talking to myself and asking questions...first I started by blaming God, then I realized He has nothing to do with it or this Cult. My only fault was that I met the Family when I was a teenager and I believed the bullshit they were selling, as any teenager does...
Tell your friend to love himself. This is a very important process in healing his heart. He has to accept himself and the things that happened to him. There's nothing he can change in the past. But he can change his future!!!
What really helped me is the fact that I have a positive attitude towards life. Still, it took me a while to accept that I lived a lie and the real world is far from the Family.
If your friend believes that by talking to someone else (and by that I mean profesional help) can release the burden on his heart and mind, encourage him to do it. But if not, don't pressure him.
Whatever he chooses, for sure drugs are not an option. It's just another illussion...drugs never solved problems. They only help you forget for a very short while about your problem. And when you "wake up" you realize you are still stuck with your problem.
Anyway, the most important thing is TO MOVE ON! Look forward. The future is ours and everything depends on us: if we make it a happy or a sad one!
Joanna
 
jjulieann
 
Reply Wed 28 Dec, 2011 01:38 am
Sounds like a lot of really depressed people here. I was in the COG from 72-76. We left when things started getting strange.

Despite all the problems, I am so happy I was able to study the Bible and learn more about God's word than most ordained ministers. I would never have had the discipline to do that on my own!

I understand that people have some sad stories to tell, but sad stories don't belong exclusively to COG members. The world is full of broken lives. My father used to beat me, sometimes daily, when I was growing up. When I was 8, he put me out of the car at night on a mountain road and took off. I was terrified. I ran as fast as I could. He would stop and just as I reached the car, he would take off again. When he finally let me back in the car everyone was laughing at me. How's that for traumatizing?

I guess what I am trying to say is that everybody has had to struggle...it's Satan's plan. He wants to disrupt our lives and cause us to drown in dispair. In fact, it was Satan that worked his way into the COG to destroy it from within because the last thing he needs in his worldly kingdom is people that are strong and knowledgeable in God's word.

Praise God and ask Him to heal your life. He can make all things new. Don't follow a religion (they are too easy for Satan to infiltrate, which he has)--follow Jesus.

God bless you.
 
nickybe
 
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2011 04:20 pm
@ptltyjijn,
BRAVO !!! It must be so difficult for you, but you have the determination to keep yourself focused... i admire your strength.
 
antiM
 
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2011 10:03 pm
@linaaram1,
just curious if anyone tried to call that law firm since they advertised an interest in hearing from people who suffered abuses in religious group. It was a recently posted article in a local publication, and it is a pretty big law firm I think. So, maybe they are interested in something like the wreckage of the family in the lives of so many. Hopefully it is not too little too late, but I thought about this post after seeing this advertisement only a few months ago!
 
lakeland
 
Reply Fri 6 Jan, 2012 09:14 am
@want2help,
Hi, have you recived the help you where asking for and how is your friend doing today? Hope to hear from you.
 
 

 
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